Advice for going back to school

GETTING ready to go back to school after summer can be a bit tough for both parents and children.

It’s a mix of excitement for the new school year, and some nervousness, especially for little ones starting their first year in school or those moving from primary to secondary school.

Most children will settle well into the new school year, however, there will be some children who are going to experience some worry and anxiety about the return.

Studies from the Growing Up In Ireland report found that at least one-fifth of young people transitioning from primary to secondary school reported feeling anxious.

For very young children, going to school for the first time can feel overwhelming. They might worry about making friends and adjusting to a new routine.

Equally, parents worry about whether their child will settle in and how they will cope with all the new demands placed on them.

If you have any concerns about how your child is coping with the upcoming transition, look out for signs that may indicate they are experiencing anxiety. These include excessive worrying, difficulty in sleeping, loss of appetite, irritability, trouble concentrating and not wanting to go to school.

Additionally, physical symptoms like headaches, abdominal pain, or nausea can also indicate that the child is experiencing emotional distress.

There are several things a parent or caregiver can do to help the child prepare for the transition to a new school.

First of all, it is crucial to maintain an ongoing conversation with the child of any age about their feelings regarding going back to, or starting school.

Parents and caregivers often respond to children who express worry or concerns with, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll be fine’, with good intentions in mind, offering comfort and support. However, this approach may not allow the child to express their emotions fully or feel truly understood.

Listen carefully to them when they talk about their worries and let them know it’s OK to feel a bit nervous or unsure. Share with them that you also feel nervous sometimes and talking about it will help.

Another great idea is to encourage the younger child to express their worries and emotions through drawing or storytelling, for this you can use finger puppets. This creative outlet can be therapeutic and may give you some insights into how they’re feeling about starting school.

The transition from primary to secondary school can cause children various challenges that require many adjustments. The larger school environment, unfamiliar teachers, and classmates can contribute to heightened anxiety and feelings of uncertainty.

The academic demands become more challenging, and children must adapt to a more structured schedule. Making new friends and figuring out how to fit in with their new classmates can be tricky too.

The challenges of starting in a new school often trigger insecurities that can lead a child to believe the worst-case scenarios in many situations. They might think or say things like: ‘No one will talk to me’, ‘I won’t find my way around the place’, ‘everyone will look at me’, ‘they all think I’m weird’, and ‘I won’t be able to make new friends’. Those types of thoughts can often lead to anxiety, depression, and anger and therefore interfere with a successful transition into secondary school, making new friends and being open to new experiences in general. Research in psychology has shown our thoughts determine how we feel emotionally and physically and how we behave. The good news is that with the right help, that inner voice and harmful thoughts can be changed.

Some practical steps you can take as a parent to ease your child’s transition back to school:

1. Establish a Routine: Start easing your child into a school routine a week or two before the school starts. Set regular bedtimes and wake-up times to help them adjust to the new schedule gradually.

2. If your child is transitioning to a new school, visit the school together before the first day. Familiarise them with the surroundings, classrooms, and facilities to ease any apprehensions.

3. Encourage Friendships: Reach out to parents of your child’s classmates and arrange playdates before the school year begins. Building friendships early can help your child feel more comfortable and connected when school starts.

4. Stay Positive: Share positive stories and experiences about your own school days to reinforce that school can be a fun and exciting place to learn and grow.

5. Role-Play: Pretend play scenarios can be beneficial in helping your child navigate potential challenging situations at school. Role-play common scenarios like introducing themselves to new classmates or seeking help from teachers.

6. Monitor Media Consumption: Limit exposure to distressing news or social media that may worsen anxiety in your child. Focus on engaging in positive and enjoyable activities together.

7. Teach Coping Strategies: Encourage your child to develop coping strategies like breathing exercises or short mindfulness exercises.

Remember, every child’s experience is unique, and some may adjust quickly, while others may take more time. Be patient and offer continuous support, and most importantly, remind your child that you believe in their abilities to handle challenges and succeed.

As the school year progresses, keep the lines of communication open with your child’s teachers. Collaborating with the school allows you to stay informed about your child’s progress and any potential challenges they may face in the classroom. Working together, you can provide the necessary support and tailor strategies to address specific needs.

Encourage your child to engage in extracurricular activities and hobbies they enjoy. Participating in sports, arts, or clubs can boost their confidence, help them make new friends, and provide an outlet for stress relief.

If you notice persistent signs of anxiety or mood changes that interfere with your child’s daily life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Mental health professionals trained in working with children and adolescents can provide specialised guidance and support tailored to your child’s unique needs.

Let’s not forget, as parents, it’s essential to prioritise self-care to maintain your own well-being and ability to support your child effectively. Take time out for yourself, do activities you enjoy, and ask for support from friends, family, or support groups if needed. When you are emotionally stronger, you can better support your child’s emotional well-being.

Remember, going back to school after the summer holidays can be a challenging time for both parents and children. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to handle certain situations. Don’t be hard on yourself and getting guidance and support from others can help you navigate this transition successfully.

If you feel that you or your child might need a little bit more help, you can visit www.iacp.ie who have lots of accredited counsellors and psychotherapists with expertise in this area.

Susi Lodola MSc is accredited with the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP) and owns the Susi Lodola Psychotherapy Centre in Old Bawn, Tallaght. Contact: info@susilodolacounselling.com www.susilodolacounselling.com