Dr Michelle O'Driscoll: How to show support ahead of exam time?

I REMEMBER once hearing the saying “When the cherry-blossoms are in bloom, it’s time to study.”

Well, the cherry-blossom trees are in full bloom at the moment (at least those that have so far managed to survive the torrential downpours and storms are!) and it certainly is that time in the calendar where exam dates are looming, and the pressure is mounting.

Whether it’s for Junior Cert, Leaving Cert, or college exams, the books are out and you hope the heads are down.

As a parent, it can be very challenging to know how to support children or others in the house who are currently in the thick of things. 

It can be even harder to support those who should be getting stuck in and haven’t yet got themselves into to that headspace – the helplessness and worry are really challenging.

Here are some ways to support productivity and progress, without going overboard and having the opposite effect.

Space – it can feel counter-intuitive, but less is more when it comes to encouragement.

Sitting on somebody to keep them at their desk will never work, and any feeling of suffocation will just cause them to rebel against the pressure. Trusting that they will get things done, while reminding them that you’re there to gently motivate and encourage, is usually a good balance to strike.

Structure – sitting down with them now before things really kick off, and helping them to plan some structure to their final weeks, can help them to, firstly, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but also to give the brain a sense of predictability and certainty.

If the body knows that it is going to get its meals and study breaks, and a decent night’s sleep, and that there are 40-minute blocks of intense study that it really needs to knuckle down for, then it’s more inclined to fall into that pattern willingly.

Steps – when the mountain seems too high to climb, just taking that first step is often the hardest but most helpful one. This goes for starting to study at all this year, to tackling that particularly challenging topic that you’ve been putting off.

What is the very first step that they need to take? It might be as base-level as picking one chapter or subsection, or one question type from the paper. Or even paring it right back to making that section in their folder or notebook.

The first step leads to a little micro-feeling of accomplishment, a small dopamine hit of reward, which more often than not leads to taking the next one. 

Support them in identifying it and taking action.

Outlets – As part of those study breaks, there should be outlets that help to blow off steam and support the physical and emotional needs of the studier in these weeks.

Team sport, meeting friends, quality time with family, or individual exercise all help burn off adrenaline, soothe the parasympathetic nervous system, and control any dysregulation the looming exams might be contributing to.

Suggest what these outlets might be, and remind for them to be tapped into. Some students get lost in the task and forget.

Support - Being the person who takes the task of cooking a dinner away by having one ready on the table, or offers to be the walking buddy for that day’s fresh air, or keeps the laundry basket empty while the focus is on other things, all helps to support the study who can feel like they already have enough on their plate. 

Understanding if the atmosphere is tense, and not taking outbursts personally can all help to reduce the exam pressure.

While you cannot sit the exams for them, as much as you would love to, reminding them this is not the end of the world can be an important contribution. The outcome of these exams is not the be-all or end-all, regardless of the exam being sat. Perspective, if you can offer nothing else, is probably the single most helpful contribution you can make.

And soon those cherry-blossoms will be done for another year, and so too will this chapter.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

 Dr Michelle O’Driscoll is a pharmacist, re searcher and founder of InTuition, a health and wellness education company. Her research lies in the area of mental health education, and through InTuition she delivers health promotion workshops to corporate and academic organisations nationally.