Manners, courtesy... so many now flout these basic life skills

I was parked up in a shopping centre recently, doing what I spend most of my life doing - waiting for my wife.

She had gone in to grab something, so I was just sitting there patiently contemplating my navel when a car pulled in beside me.

It caught my attention because it was driven aggressively. He braked hard, took up two spaces, and got out with a young lad and went into the store.

To say he parked the car badly wouldn’t do him justice. It would be more accurate to say he abandoned it.

They returned a few minutes later and jumped back into the car. The driver revved the engine and shot off at speed through the car park, which has a one-way system, and exited through what is clearly signed as the entrance. The exit is in another area of the car park, but that obviously didn’t suit him.

It wasn’t the biggest crime ever committed, but it bothered me that he was behaving as if he was the only person using the facility.

He had no regard for anyone else in the area or for the harm he could have caused, he was just suiting himself.

Unfortunately, he’s not alone in that regard because this kind of behaviour is becoming more and more common. Sadly, lack of respect for others and good manners generally seem to be disappearing.

The website Midlifemusings.com suggest that manners are more than rules of etiquette. They are the social skills we use to show others that we know the world doesn’t revolve around us.

It’s making eye contact when talking to another person. It’s a firm handshake when meeting someone. It’s holding the elevator door for someone running to catch it - and then pressing their floor button if you’re closer to it.

It’s about letting people merge in traffic and offering grace to the driver who is obviously searching for an address.

It’s not laying on the horn a half-second after the light turns green.

Good manners show our fellow humans that we care about them. Yet there are many who don’t practice them.

You can learn a lot about manners or lack thereof in a parking lot. Motorists not parking between the lines, sitting in the car and stalling when people are waiting for a spot, taking a space someone else was waiting for, etc.

When it comes to good manners, It’s the little things like holding that door open.

Who doesn’t feel better about themselves after performing a good deed? Those caring acts of kindness can make someone’s day just a bit brighter.

So how about it? Why not practice good manners today and every day?

That’s easier said than done, apparently.

I came across a story recently about a pregnant woman on a crowded train who couldn’t find a seat. A guy spotted her dilemma and offered her his seat but before she could accept his offer, another guy squeezed past her and grabbed it.

No amount of calling him out on it persuaded him to shift. He just closed his eyes, pretended to be asleep, and stayed where he was.

That reminded me of something I experienced a few months back.

I was sitting in my car at a medical facility, waiting for my wife, again. It was raining lightly, and I saw a lady pushing an older lady in a wheelchair up the ramp to the front door of the facility. When she reached the door, she was struggling.

At first, I thought there was a problem with the chair, but then I noticed that it couldn’t fit through the door. They were double doors but only one was open.

As I was looking at her, other people were passing in and out, but nobody paid her any attention. The two ladies were getting wet.

I went over and tried to open the second door, but it wasn’t co-operating.

While I was on my knees, I was almost knocked over buy a man who was anxious to pass me by. He was followed soon after by a woman who almost stood on me.

Eventually, the door opened so the ladies went in and I returned to my car.

As I sat there, I couldn’t help but wonder how we got to this point? How have we become so caught up in ourselves that we are prepared to leave an older lady sitting in the rain in her wheelchair while able-bodied people walk around her?

When I was growing up, great emphasis was placed on courtesy and good manners. Probably the first words we learned were ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’. We said them automatically, whenever we asked for or received something. If we didn’t, we got a sharp reminder.

Something else I was taught from an early age was how to act in the presence of a lady.

It sounds old-fashioned now, but it was considered mannerly to open a door for a female. Or, for that matter, to hold it open for anyone, regardless of gender.

We were also taught to offer up our seat for a lady or older person if seating was in short supply.

It’s not exactly in the same league as throwing your coat over a puddle to help a lady to keep her feet dry, but a nice gesture at the same time.

But not everyone was brought up the same way.

Not everyone likes to be helped either. Some see the acceptance of a seat as an act of submission and take offence.

There are reams of stories online about men holding doors open for women and being publicly rebuked for their lack of awareness about how such actions might cause some females to feel insulted.

I don’t care though. I’ll keep doing what I was taught.