Do you have a fear of Christmas season?

A fear of Christmas is something you may not have even imagined, but it’s very real for those living with Christougenniatikophobia - and no less valid than a fear of heights or snakes.

Once you dig below the surface, the cause usually makes perfect sense.

Trouble with tinsel

I once treated a woman named Hannah who had avoided Christmas for years - she had a fear of tinsel. The root cause turned out that during a game when she was young, tinsel had slipped across her mouth, tightened, and she couldn’t catch her breath. She panicked and her brain created a conditioned response: tinsel became linked with danger.

To help someone let go of any phobia, the key is to find that original pairing. I then use these seven key steps:

Step 1: Recognise what you are really afraid of

The first step is to get clear. A lot of people think they’re afraid of the obvious thing - like Hannah’s fear of tinsel - but it’s usually what’s behind it that matters. For example, if we had only focused on the tinsel and not the underlying fear of choking, we wouldn’t have gotten very far. So, the key is precision. Let go of the ‘why’ questions, which can lead to excuses, and instead ask yourself a few simple ‘what’ and ‘when’ questions. For instance, when did I first start feeling this way? What was happening at the time? And in the present, what tends to trigger this feeling now? Once you know that, you’ve got the real target in focus, and you can actually start working on it.

Step 2: Relax the conscious mind

Emotions are not always logical, and trying to rationalise them can sometimes keep you stuck in your head. There are many ways to calm the mind and body, from hypnotherapy to mindfulness and meditation. One of the simplest and quickest ways, however, is to change your breathing.

Quick technique: Square Breathing: Breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, breathe out for four, and hold again for four. Repeating this helps your body move into a calmer state, making it much easier for your mind to shift as well.

Step 3: Reward (what need is this phobia meeting)

Emotions are not always rational, and often there is what we call in psychology a ‘secondary gain’ - a hidden reward the subconscious is holding onto. So, ask yourself, what need is this fear meeting? Trust the first answer that comes up, even if it does not seem to make logical sense at first. Then consider, is there a better way to meet that need.

By gently challenging these subconscious beliefs, it becomes much easier to let go of the fear and move forward.

Step 4: Recipe (deconstructing your strategy)

Every emotion we experience runs on an internal recipe. What you picture in your mind, what you say to yourself, what you are thinking about, what you believe, how you feel in your body, and even how you carry yourself all form part of that sequence.

Once you become aware of that internal strategy, you can start to change it.

Imagine taking the image that triggers fear and turning it black and white. Notice the voice that says it will all go wrong and imagine it sounding like Mickey Mouse. Picture the thing you are afraid of wearing a big floppy wig and imagine yourself towering above it. How different does it feel from that place

By altering the pictures, sounds, beliefs, the body posture, and all the other ingredients in the sequence, you can interrupt the old pattern and create a new, more empowering response.

Step 5: Release (letting go of the past)

Christmas fear often echoes old experiences, sometimes small, sometimes significant. This step is about releasing the emotional imprint from the past. In other words, we gently find those old triggers and help the mind let them go.

One simple technique is to cross your arms and gently rub them up and down, almost as if you’re giving yourself a comforting hug. This kind of nurturing touch can help release those old emotional charges. By revisiting those past triggers in a calm, self-soothed state, you naturally reduce their intensity and allow yourself to let go.

Step 6: Recondition (creating a positive anchor)

A phobia is essentially an old negative conditioned response - a Pavlovian response. You can create your own positive version of that.

Think of a time you felt truly calm or joyful. At the peak of that feeling, gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger together. Repeat this with a few positive memories, using the same gesture each time. Once you’ve done this a few times, you’ve created a reliable anchor.

When those old Christmas fears start creeping in, just press that anchor to reduce or even override those old fears.

Step 7: Realise (a positive future)

A lot of people feed their fear by mentally rehearsing a negative future that hasn’t even happened yet. This only fuels the fear. Instead, focus on what you do want in the future. Imagine a bright, vivid picture of yourself feeling confident and at ease.

Rehearse that positive future in your mind over and over, stepping into it and feeling those good emotions.

The more you focus on this positive image, the more you’ll naturally move towards it, leaving the old fear behind.

Christopher Paul Jones is a leading Harley Street phobia expert and author of Face Your Fears.