Long flights and deadly beasts: perils of visiting my family in Oz

My daughter moved to Australia at the start of the year with her husband and three boys.

They were fed up with the cost of living and poor services in Ireland, and having lived in Oz previously, they knew what they were getting into. They decided to give it another go, and off they went.

Their initial plan was to return home after a couple of years, but that conversation changed almost as quickly as it began. Soon, there was talk of three years, then three or four years, and I reckon it would be foolish to bet on either.

And that’s fine. Sure, we miss watching the grandchildren grow up, but it’s great to see them all enjoying the quality-of-life Australia has to offer.

Vicki and Ian both have good jobs, the children are in good schools, and they live in a nice neighbourhood.

Cooper, the ten-year-old, has already developed an Aussie accent and, as an outdoors, sporty kind of guy, he couldn’t be in a better place. The kids have built up a good social network with lots of school mates and friends and they’re happy, so it’s all good. Well, maybe not completely.

Australia couldn’t be further away. It’s literally at the opposite side of the world and there is no easy way to get there, unless you can afford to fly business class. For the rest of us, it’s a hard slog no matter how you go about it.

I’ve made that journey a couple of times already, and I swore I would never do a long-haul flight again. We had a stopover in Singapore after being in the air for what seemed like an eternity, but we were still only halfway there, and I was already exhausted.

My mother loved flying. It was part of her holiday, and she took those journeys in her stride. As far as I’m concerned, long-haul travelling is a nightmare, but now I have to face it again if I want to see the family.

I did suggest to my wife that maybe FaceTime is just as good and that making that woeful journey was unnecessary, but the look I got told me the topic was not up for discussion. So, we’re off.

Off to a country where, even after you arrive, you can’t relax because there is no shortage of creatures that want to bite, sting or eat you.

Jeremy Clarkson was writing about the wildlife in Australia recently, and he said you only have a 50-50 chance of surviving a trip to the bottom of the garden.

Just to remind us of that, Vicki sent a video of a large snake making its way across the top of her garden fence, and another photo of a Huntsman spider wandering around the house.

Some spiders are poisonous and can hide in your shoes, so you have to make sure there’s nothing in there before you put them on.

You don’t have to worry about finding a Huntsman in your shoes though, because they’re big enough to wear them. They’re enormous.

On a previous visit, I unknowingly went for a swim in a part of the ocean that was inhabited by a few sharks who were, as it turned out, not that far away from me. I still shiver at the thought of it, but Australians have a more relaxed approach to dealing with critters. Their advice for anyone encountering a shark is to swim away from the pointy end.

Aussies must have good survival techniques though because I came across a report on the internet that suggested that, on average, they are living longer than previous generations.

A new report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare explored trends in that country’s increasing life expectancy and found that over the last 50 years, life expectancy there has increased by 13.7 years for males (to 81.3) and by 11.2 years for females (to 85.4).

It has increased at a rate of three months per year since the start of the 20th century.

Australia has one of the highest life expectancies in the world, ranking fifth among 38 other Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) countries. Japan is at the top, closely followed by Switzerland, South Korea, and Spain.

The increased life expectancy Down Under is largely attributed to an active outdoor lifestyle, lower rates of smoking and drug abuse, improved medical knowledge and technology, health care availability such as the widespread accessibility to antibiotics and vaccines, improved living conditions, and an overall better quality of life.

They don’t seem to take life too seriously either, which probably helps, but there’s some good news for us on this side of the world too.

A recent article in the Irish Examiner suggested that a typical Mediterranean diet could lower the risk of dementia by almost a quarter. Even for people who are genetically more predisposed to developing dementia, a diet of seafood, wholegrains, nuts, fruits and vegetables reduces the likelihood of developing it, researchers have said.

Apparently, eating more fish and olive oil and less processed food, sugary food and red meat, could help to reduce the risk.

Other new research suggests that exercising between 7am and 9am may be the key to weight management.

Although evidence regarding optimal timing of physical activity has been controversial, a study has found that the start of the day appears to be the best time to enhance the positive impact of daily physical activity on obesity.

So, there you have it. If you want to live long, healthy, dementia-free lives with lean bodies, move to Australia, but stick to a Mediterranean diet and get up every morning at 7am and go for a run.

Be careful where you exercise though, because there’s a bunch of beasties just waiting to cut your life short.