Stressed out? Don’t sweat it... create practical steps for change

WE’VE all thought, or said out loud, “I’m so stressed!” It’s a great umbrella term that covers so much and is a way of telling ourselves that things aren’t OK.

But what is stress really? How does it impact our minds and bodies and what can be done about it so that it doesn’t run the show? Let’s find out.

Firstly, stress is unavoidable. Why? Because while we think that stress is a thing in our mind (we will get to that later), stress is actually your body’s way of going ‘Woah, hold up!’

We are fairly complicated beings, us humans, but we have a whole set of pre-dispositioned inner programmes (think of them like apps that switch on and off) which are designed to keep us safe and alive. The difficult thing is that these apps respond to everything that’s going on around us from a worst case scenario perspective. And stress is the same.

There are two types of stress - one would be a stress response to a particular situation (think of a deadline at work or a child becoming unwell) and the other when your inner reservoir for dealing with life is feeling depleted.

The first type of stress, let’s call it a reactional response to an event, would boost your stress response internally. So this ‘app’ inside sends signals to your body and brain that you’re not feeling ok.

You might feel an increased heart rate, sweaty, clammy hands, shaking (this is the body trying to metabolise adrenaline), racing thoughts and shallow breathing. And none of these are bad - it’s what you do with them that’s the most important thing.

Unfortunately, we’ve a brain that’s excellent at reflecting and thinking. So we’ve the ability to think about how terrible all of these feelings are. Will they end, will they get worse, will they come back… and will they come back worse! The list is endless!

The second type of stress would be more chronic stress from being overloaded in life over a period of time. Longer-term stress could be described as chronic stress or burnout. Chronic stress is the prolonged exposure to stressors over a period of time, while burnout would be the feelings of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive periods of stress. 

Signs of this type of stress can be digestive issues including reflux and heartburn, sleeplessness or waking in the night, weakened immune system, fatigue, headaches, skin problems, anger and anxiousness.

What’s essential to remember is that there’s no heroes in this stuff - we all have different abilities to cope with the demands of life at different times. 

Resilience is not about pushing through regardless, resilience is about knowing what you need to be doing to mind yourself through the ups and downs of life so that you, and your mental health is cared for.

There are so many ways of dealing with stress and something that’s really important to stay away from is anything prescriptive; there’s so many people saying “do this and you’ll be fine”, but no one really has the solution but themselves.

We are all individuals with different things that make us tick and managing your stress levels is no different. One of the best ways to create an active plan to mitigate or manage stress is to ask yourself “what do I need?”.

You can ask yourself this when you’re in a stressful situation, or in those quieter moments of life when you’ve a bit more mental space to think creatively about how you’d like your life to look and feel.

A really important place to start with exploring how you manage stress and make helpful changes is to think about the kind of life you want to have. I know that social media is great at telling us what life we should have, but start by asking yourself “what’s important to me and am I doing that?”. Being satisfied (generally, we’ve all got bills to pay!) is so important in managing stress.

Then ask yourself - do I have fun, do I spend time with people who enjoy being with me, do I have enough time alone and time being social, do I rest enough, sleep enough, eat well enough? These are all excellent markers for a balanced life …especially having fun, my experience is that people are so busy getting through life, they forget about the fun bit.

Then, knowing that stress is a response from the body, try to incorporate times in your life to slow down your body and mind. For some people this can be sport, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, gardening, cooking or reading.

But really, go wild and get inventive - you want to create a part of your life that helps you to feel safe as those apps inside us are always switched on to remind you that you might not be.

Our work in life is to keep reminding those apps that actually, with a little work and practice, we can manage what life throws at us.

Bethan O’Riordan is an IACP accredited psychotherapist, co-host of the Mum Mind Podcast as author of her Self-Care Planner; how to live a balanced life available at www.bethanoriordan.com If you feel that you might need a little more help, you can visit www.iacp.ie who have a list of accredited counsellors and psychotherapists with expertise in this area.