Me, a real-life priestess? But this email came with a catch!

It was an offer that appeared to be too good to be true... and it certainly wasn't free, reveals AILIN QUINLAN
Me, a real-life priestess? But this email came with a catch!

HIGHER CALLING: Greek actresses playing priestesses at the birthplace of the Olympics in Athens at the Games there in 2004

WELL, I thought, it certainly is nice to be addressed as ‘beloved’.

I was thinking this while reading an email which had caught my attention with the cunningly-worded heading “You are invited to the Free Lughnasadh Priestess Gathering”.

Free is one thing. I mean, free is probably nearly everything, but then it got better. Like, the priestess thing. Fascinating. And then you had Lughnasadh, which has that air of mystery about it. And now I was also Beloved!

I clicked on a pretty virtual button panel thing and suddenly I was also someone’s Beloved Sister and, it seemed, the recipient of another invitation. That’s really nice. I thought. Not just Beloved, but Beloved Sister.

I mean, despite what we might say, we’d all like to be somebody’s Beloved Sister, wouldn’t we? Or even someone’s Beloved Something.

The flowing gold elegant script was accompanied by a picture of a rather beautiful priestess in a white lacy robe, her flowing dark hair bound with a delicate filigree head-dress.

I was, it appeared being given the opportunity to participate in a Priestess Awakening Journey and Initiation, described as an enriching year-long journey inviting women into “wholeness, power and joy”.

There would be empowering training on a Celtic wheel, whatever that was, with “ancient Celtic wisdom, mythology and goddesses .” Intriguing.

Was I “weary of wandering?” the invitation inquired. The writer sensed a “deep collective longing for women to come together in sacred spaces and learn ancient ways of being”. We women would weave ancient wisdom into their present-day life.

Wow, I thought, quite spellbound. And I’d like, watched The Missing on Netflix only just last night! You know, the one with Cate Blanchett and Tommy Lee Jones and Wild West log cabins and those desert windmill things and all that atmospheric Indian mysticism, not to mention the psychopathic Brujo (my God, those teeth! Sheesh!).

Brilliant, even though Tommy Lee Jones dies in the end.

I was, the website informed me, being invited on a journey of commitment to myself — mind, body and spirit during which, in the “safe embrace” of my inner goddess I would learn, play, express, explore, reconnect, remember and reawaken my inner priestess.

“You are unconditionally loved, you are love itself,” the email said. For starters, there was this Free Lughanasadh Priestess Gathering thing.

Lughnasadh is the midway point between the summer solstice and the autumn equinox and I was being “summoned to harvest while being willing to look at” what I fear. And for free.

I told my husband, when he came in sweaty from an afternoon of shoveling earth to make a new patio. “This is amazing. I wish I could go.”

He was unimpressed. “How come,” he inquired, “you’re always getting stuff like this? Other women your age get promotions from Brown Thomas or that Chinese website where you get anything for a euro.”

I get all those ones too, I told him, a bit put out by his insinuation about my age. But look at this, I exclaimed. Nothing to it! All I had to bring was an open heart and mind, a candle, some matches or a lighter, a crystal and some pen and paper. And it was free!

“What does it involve?” he wanted to know.

“You, em, open a sacred circle and meditate and set an intention. There’s sharing and we perform a ritual and then we’re supposed to be still. Then we close the circle.

“After that. I think you go on a journey together on a path in harmony with the Moon. If I’m reading it right.”

“Jaysus,” he said, “sounds a bit off to me. How long would all that take?”

“Would you stop,” I said. “Listen to this other bit: ‘For lifetimes, you have walked as a priestess. Now is the time for you to walk this path with true sovereignty. You’ve come to the right place to heal old wounds, stoke your inner magic, bring sacredness into everyday life, and create a home that’s your personal palace’. That’s so lovely! I will awaken from slumber to come into full alignment with the truth of who I am and what my oath is as a priestess.”

“Oh?” he said, “actually, I was wondering if there was any chance of a bit of dinner.”

A priestess,” I read aloud, “is one who dedicates herself to opening up her intuitive powers, connects with other worlds while being grounded in this one, uses her healing and manifestation abilities, as well as her consciousness, bridges this world with other worlds through ancient practices and traditions, and employs sacred rituals to create magic and miracles in her day-to-day reality. God, I’d enjoy that no end,” I said wistfully.

“You’re not a priestess,” my husband said patiently. “And you’re getting yourself a bit mixed up about what’s free and what’s not.”

He leaned over and scrolled down to another part of the website. “The circle and the candle thing might be free alright, but I don’t think you’ll learn to be a goddess for nothing,” he said.

He pointed the cursor at a sort of table where it said the Early Bird price cost was $3,060.

“What?” I said, shocked. “What costs $3,060?”

“Coming into full alignment with the truth of who you are and learning that oath stuff probably doesn’t come cheap,” he smirked. “You won’t be a priestess this summer, I’d say. Best stick with the day job for a while more. What’s for dinner?”

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