Supporting your partner through menopause: Cork author’s guide
Michelle A. Hardwick says her new book is written for the partners and spouses of people going through menopause. Picture: Xenia Papp.
Women experience such a deep change in themselves during perimenopause and menopause, and it’s necessary for their partners to evolve with them too.
That’s according to Michelle A. Hardwick who has just written a book called , which she describes as a “straight-talking, warm-hearted, practical handbook that helps partners understand what is really happening during menopause” physically, emotionally and relationally.
“Typically, men like to jump in and fix things, but they can’t fix this experience for their partners and often they don’t know what to do,” said Cobh-based Michelle.
“What tends to happen then, is they step back from the situation instead, when they need to step forward and really listen and show empathy and almost go on the journey with her.”
Michelle is originally from North Wales and enjoyed a hugely successful hospitality career that took her around the world, from Zurich and Crans-Montana in Switzerland, Beijing in China, Dunedin in New Zealand and beyond.
Ultimately, she suffered burnout from the demands of her work, and after embarking on a journey of self-healing she launched a new career as a health practitioner.
She now has more than 25 years’ experience specialising in stress management, mindfulness, meditation, emotional resilience, and supporting people through major life transitions and challenging chapters, including the menopause.
The idea for was born from a single conversation at an online speed networking event she attended.
“I was talking about my work supporting women through the emotional aspects of menopause when a man called Richard stopped me in my tracks. ‘You should write a book for men,’ he said. ‘If I’d had that, my marriage might have survived.’ Sitting in that same Zoom room was Heather, a publisher. The synchronicity was impossible to ignore. From that one conversation, was born.”
Michelle says the book is written for the partners and spouses of women going through menopause – ‘a group that is desperately underserved.’
“There is no shortage of information for women, and rightly so. But the people standing beside them, watching someone they love change, feeling helpless, confused, and often shut out, have largely been forgotten. Until now.”
The book isn’t a clinical textbook or a list of tips, she stresses, but is a compassionate guide rooted in both professional knowledge and lived experience.
It comprises 11 chapters and looks at things including intimacy at this time of life, how to understand emotions like rage and irritability, and also physical symptoms.
With suggestions on how to show up in a way that brings couples closer rather than pulling them apart, it features the real voices and experiences of husbands and partners from around the world.
Michelle is also coming at the topic from her own personal experience.
The 61-year-old experienced perimenopause at the age of 45, when she stopped taking the pill after 20 years.
“I suffered so many symptoms and was really on edge for a long time. I was still doing corporate work at the time and was terrified that I’d forget something from brain fog or have a hot sweat in a meeting. It was really difficult before I got things under control. So really my 25 years as a health practitioner working alongside men and women as they navigate the menopause and 10 years of living it myself with my husband John beside me is what makes this book different,” said Michelle.
Ultimately, the menopause is a profound transition for women.
“There’s no way around it, we all have to go through it and we need to bring our men along with us. Relationships will be in a stronger place when the menopause ends as a result, couples will be more deeply connected once a woman knows she has someone in her corner,” said Michelle.
- is available on Amazon.
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