Dr Michelle O'Driscoll: The uncomfortable truth

An audiobook is one of my recent favourite ways to pass a car journey.

For kids in the back, a children’s audiobook positively fills a void that would otherwise be more likely to be full of bickering and/or expressions of boredom.

For solo trips, a good audiobook gets me out of my overthinking mind about where I’m heading and what jobs I’m facing into, and offers what feels most needed for me on that day. This typically alternates between a good murder mystery as chewing gum for the brain, or a more reflective, introspective offering that helps to boost the mood, and feeds my natural curiosity for all things wellbeing, development and common humanity.

A recent gem I stumbled upon and would highly recommend was The Uncomfortable Truth, by Anna Mathur. A psychotherapist by trade, she brings personal and professional perspectives to an outlined list of some of the most uncomfortable realities we face in life. Hard-hitting truths that we naturally tend to swerve around or encounter with denial. Things like “Some people don’t like me,” “I am going to fail” “People misunderstand me”, and “I’m not good enough”. Very hard-hitting chapter titles, it must be said, the content of which is non-apologetic, but very skilfully navigated and so very refreshing.

This was one of those books you look forward to getting into the car for. That wasn’t too heavy, nor too fluffy, and that I think will be returned to down the track. What makes it different to all the others sitting on the shelf of this genre is that it doesn’t dismiss these fears as being invalid, or gaslight people into thinking they’re wrong for feeling this way.

“People won’t like me” for example – the typical response offered to this in other wellbeing publications is “oh everybody is so busy thinking about themselves, nobody has an opinion either way.” We try to take this on board, but it doesn’t sit right – that’s because the uncomfortable truth is yes, there will always be people who even within 30 seconds of meeting you will have decided they don’t like you.

Despite your very best efforts and attempts, you’ll never manage to win them over. And that sucks!

This book calls this out, lays it on the table, examines why this is so hard for us to stomach in the first place, and supports you in how to be OK with that! Or at least to be OK with being uncomfortable about that. An approach that offers such relief and permission, and loosens the shackles of those truths to allow for more comfort, that we otherwise waste a lot of energy trying in vain to shake off completely.

Through her years in clinical practice, Anna has encountered so many individuals who suffer while experiencing and trying to push away these realities. And this book takes each of the eight uncomfortable truths and explores them with you, but in a way that is honest, vulnerable, reassuring and hopeful.

It offers a sense of relief that you’re not alone in experiencing these things, or fearing these things. It gives explanations around why these truths feel so uncomfortable for us, and what embracing or accepting these truths can do to improve our wellbeing. It shares experiences from Anna and past clients’ lives that relate to that particular truth, to really illustrate the impact that fear can have on their lives, as well as the effect of finally facing them head on, and it offers companionship and encouragement to start tackling these elephants in the room of our lives, by calling them out and gently starting to unravel our previous non-helpful perceptions and responses to them.

What you’re left with upon reading this book are a few things: a real sense of validation – what I’m feeling is normal, I’m not less than or different for experiencing this stress; support – I’ve got ways to start chipping away at these thought patterns of a lifetime to reap the wellbeing benefits; and hope – these fears don’t have to always paralyse me – they can be present in my life but navigated in a more helpful, healthier way.

The Uncomfortable Truth – a car journey well spent!