THIS year, for the first time in many years, I feel there may be a good deal of change ahead for me.
Usually the New Year brings a general sense of familiarity, knowing that what lies ahead involves minding the girls and keeping myself busy with a bit of online work.
I have been at home for the last seven years totally and utterly devoted to the girls, but I think perhaps the seven year itch is beginning to set in and I’m equal parts excited and daunted by the thought of change.
My husband started a new job in December and now works fully from home. Up to this point he had a mix of home and office since the start of the pandemic. It was a nice balance because when he was there I spent the few hours in the morning catching up on jobs and when he was gone I had free rein of the office to potter about and do my own creative bits of sewing or use my Cricut.
We all have things we love doing and for me it is the process and the satisfaction of creating something that gives me back a little bit of me time in a world that is dominated by meeting the needs of others.
Now he is home all the time, it means I don’t really get much time in the office and my mornings feel like they have been reduced to the usually futile task of cleaning and the enjoyable job of walking the dog. But there is more to life than cleaning, so I have started to really think about what my next move is.
I also feel like my love for creating content online has taken a hit this year and is no longer really something I am all that energetic about.
I have been creating content online, mainly via Instagram, for over seven years and while that ticks along in the background generating a little bit of income, the past year has seen a drop off in work for me and I really don’t mind.
There are times when you want to fight for something you love to do and then there are times where you are tired, your enthusiasm wanes and you need a change.
I pulled back a lot from sharing anything even remotely personal in the last year and went back to basics. I started out ‘blogging’ about the different creative things I made and I’ve gone full circle back to that this year.
During Covid, I found being online very intense, on one hand it was a wonderfully sociable outlet in a world where society had retreated, but you were also wide open to taking the hit from people who were frustrated, angry or even sad about what was happening.
We lurched from Covid to a cost of living crisis and perhaps it’s the fact I am an eldest child, but I get very anxious about upsetting people and getting nasty messages as a result of sometimes saying the most random thing. It made me overthink what I was saying online to the point where I now feel like I have nothing much left to say.
So, going into 2023, I feel like a lot is going to change for me.
I am at that point in my life where I know the clothes I want to wear and I’m fussy about shapes and cuts of clothing like jumpers and t-shirts. I want to see if I can create the perfect t-shirt for myself and I would also like to make some simple summer dresses. I can only imagine that the satisfaction of creating your own wardrobe is huge, so I am really looking forward to getting stuck into the challenge.
When we first moved into our house, I was really productive with a few simple DIY’s like wallpapering and panelling. Since the girls have gotten bigger and our lives busier, I haven’t done anything around the house in a long time but I am itching to get back to it.
It is something creative I can do at home without being stuck under my husband’s feet in the office and there are a few areas that need a refresh. I am looking forward to doing that and hopefully ‘finding myself’ somewhere along the way!