Cork Views: What I've learned from coaching children in sport 

Sport is amazing. Not everyone loves it, but many do, and I really feel it is an incredible outlet for people of all ages.

I feel like Ireland is a fantastic sporting country. We have had many brilliant football moments over the years, we’ve had a rugby team who have been right up there with the best in the world, brilliant golfers, and amazing athletes. We have an abundance of talent and drive.

We’ve seen so many successful teams and individuals, and let’s not forget our own Gaelic Games, a cultural phenomenon unlike anything else across the world (in my opinion).

As the underage sporting season draws to a close, it’s time for coaches and parents to take a breath, reflect, and maybe even have a cup of tea in peace without rushing around looking for shinpads, gumshields, and water bottles.

This has been my sixth consecutive year coaching underage sports teams, aside from a seventh year in which I was involved with coaching an under-15 boys’ soccer team a few years back. As is common, it has been my own children being involved with their local teams that has drawn me into the world of coaching.

I’m involved in a varying degree with four teams across GAA and soccer in both girls’ and boys’ teams. In some, I’m heavily involved, and in others I drop in and help at the training sessions when I’m around.

A few things have become clear during the last few years.

Nothing without volunteers

Without parents helping, supporting teams, coaching teams and getting involved, underage sport in Ireland would simply not exist. I have great admiration for anyone who gets involved.

People don’t need to have a sports background. Some will, and that’s fantastic, but generally you need a coaching group to manage the large numbers of kids being dropped off at the weekly sessions.

Getting involved with a young sports team is a great way to become part of your community, support the children as they develop, and most importantly to create a lovely bond with your own child.

Discussions after training and matches about all sorts of wonderful and funny things, and maybe an ice-cream on the way home from time to time, allows for some quality time together.

Coaches - the good, the bad, and the ugly

This is where underage coaching gets a little blurry if I’m being totally honest. You will have people who are good coaches and people who are bad coaches and there will be a small minority who make up the rest.

The good ones usually understand the bigger picture at play, which is making kids have a fun time, building confidence, developing their ability, and keeping them coming back to the sport

The bad coaches are the ones who simply have the wrong attitude. They focus on the wrong things. Their ego begins to play a huge part, it becomes about them, not about the children they’re coaching. Many sports clubs will unfortunately have people who fall into this category.

Then you have coaches who desperately care about eight and nine-year-olds winning. The ones who must have control when you might have a coaching group including experienced coaches. The ones who can’t help but make sly digs about other teams or players. The ones who will make for an unpleasant experience. The ones who constantly shout at the players, telling them exactly what to do.

Now this last point drives me mad. I’m a big believer in, and I actually put into action the idea that when a player has the ball, they must decide what do to themselves. They don’t need a coach shouting instructions at them the moment they receive the ball, when sometimes a kid might only receive the ball a few times in a game or training session.

I would strongly urge any coach reading this to be quiet when a player has the ball. This is what training is for, teaching them the tools so they can decide for themselves when they get the ball. Which is that greatest thrill for a small child - this big match with all these players and everyone watching, and I have the ball! Leave them enjoy it.

Now, I do think most people’s heart is in the right place, even the ones who have a poor attitude. They’re still giving up their time and energy, and hopefully, underneath the ego, they still want the best for the kids they’re coaching. I think an element of self-awareness is something that is lacking, but that can be worked on.

Parents

Parents should be admired greatly for making the effort to bring their child to sports. With everything else going on, from school to work and other activities, they must logistically get the child to the sports pitch, and pay for the membership and never-ending stream of gear, equipment, and everything else.

It’s a huge undertaking, but one I believe will be of benefit to your child as they grow, develop, and become young adults.

Being part of a sports team is an opportunity on so many levels, including understanding how to work with other people, how to support other people, to make life-long friends, and so much more. You are giving your child a great start in life by having them involved in sport. It really does not matter what sport or what team or what club.

It can be a hard slog, no doubt about it. The long evenings after a long day. The weekends consumed, our precious time all but spent. The never-ending WhatsApp groups, polls and requests. The driving here, getting there... the sheer madness of it all. I can promise you this, if your child enjoys it, then it’s all worth it!