Couple who remain oceansapart go the distance for love

A Glounthaune native revealed how love forced him to veer outside of his comfort zone and to go to incredible lengths to support his girlfriend.

Thomas Quain said he has done everything including constructing a car wash from scratch in the name of love.

Sam Smadella, who lives in Canada, bumped into Thomas while on holiday with her friends in Ireland. While distance can put a strain on even the strongest relationships, Thomas and Sam’s has stood the test of time.

Sam reflected on how she met the Cork filmmaker after frequenting a well-known Dublin pub.

“My best friend moved to the UK and we decided that we would meet up for an adventure in Ireland,” Sam told The Echo. “On our last night, we were at Whelan’s bar, where we met a cute filmmaker who was funny and friendly. We exchanged contact info and kept in touch.”

The pair soon discovered they had a wealth in common.

“We exchanged contacts and chatted online a bit for a while,” she said. “At some point we discovered we had both worked in The Disney Store. We both love making films and plays, though I’m not an expert like Thomas. I did some voice acting for his animations. I got to be a Canadian woman in an off-licence once and a talking painting another time. On a number of occasions, I reached out to ask Thomas for advice and feedback. We kept chatting more and more and realised that we got along really well.

“There was a point when we were chatting basically every day, and I asked if he wanted to be my long-distance boyfriend. I don’t think either of us took it seriously at first because of the distance and the unpractical nature of it but when we met up again in person our feelings really started to grow and we both realized that this is something that is special and worth the leap of faith.”

Thomas described how the feeling was mutual.

“I was happy to help Sam with her various projects over the years and I did some graphic design work for her and was interested to learn more about what she was doing,” he said. “I did my best to keep up with her busy life. I was excited to be her long-distance boyfriend despite the obvious challenges. I felt excited to meet someone really unique. Her personality shines across even from such a great distance. For me, there was no one moment just a growing feeling of support and communication and that is probably a really good place, in retrospect, to start a relationship.”

Even the Covid-19 pandemic wasn’t enough to keep the couple apart.

“After meeting in Whelan’s we kept chatting like I say and eventually I decided to go over and see Sam again,” Thomas said. “I had never been to Canada so it was going to be a thrill. I was due to fly over there in April 2020 and then the pandemic hit in March that year and so that never happened. At that point, I felt it was never going to happen but we still kept in contact. Finally, we started dating in April 2021 even though we hadn’t met in over five years. I think we built up a bond that feels quite strong.”

Thomas let The Echo in on their secrets to a happy relationship.

“I think finding someone who is a friend who you feel comfortable opening up to is important. Sam for me is that person. I think everyone feels they are strange but if you find the right person it can make you more comfortable and confident in yourself and Sam does that for me. That’s how I know it feels right.”

Sam and Tom are looking forward to the future.

“We have no game plan,” Sam said. “We are just riding this crazy wave of love. I think I got to the point where I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. I only wanted someone to share that with. I think we complement each other really well. We try to involve each other in our daily lives by sending pics of what we are up to, or video calling for exciting events like going through the car wash (Sam), or digging a grave for a movie (Thomas).

“When Thomas was visiting me last, he was at home while I was working some of the days, and he took a bunch of photos of himself cleaning my house. For the weeks following him going back to Ireland, he would send me pictures of himself cleaning my house to make me feel like he was still there. I missed him a lot, and it always made me smile and laugh. When he visited he came with me to some gigs, and was eager to dress up like a leprechaun for the kids that I work with. They thought it was hilarious.”

Thomas chipped in.

“She actually begged me to do it and I am a good boyfriend so I did it. It was super fun.”

The Cork man was thrilled to be introduced to Sam’s children.

“Sam came over with her kids in August 2022 when I was in the middle of making a film. I was so keen to go to Dublin I blew up the fuel pump in my car driving from Wexford to Dublin with two actors who were also with me. Fortunately, after a few false starts we did make it to Dublin and I spent the day showing Sam and her amazing kids around Dublin.”

Sam recalled how her children immediately warmed to Thomas.

“My daughter said that he couldn’t be any more perfect for me, and both kids and the dog adore him.”

Thomas spoke about the time they spend together as a couple.

“Sam has two of the most amazing kids I’ve ever met in my life. I finally did go to Canada in November 2022 and stayed with Sam and we felt a really comfortable bond that grew really naturally. Sam has a very busy life as she does amazing work working as a paediatric recreational therapist in Canada and she works in a number of different locations around the city of Ottawa. I was lucky enough to go on some of her work days.

“A really memorable day was when we went to the hardware store together and we looked for pipes and parts to make a car wash to give some of the kids she works with a fun sensory experience swapping water for glitter and other fun stuff. Not only did I go to the hardware store with her I also assembled it with her and brought it into work with her the next day. It was a lot of fun assembling it, watching it fall apart, sticking it in the trunk of her car and reassembling it in another location around the city. I think we did that over two days and it was a lot of fun and really wonderful to watch Sam work and be able to help her. I honestly don’t know how she does it on her own! I think she is really amazing.”

Sam recalled the attention to detail.

“That was so fun”, she said. “We made it wheelchair accessible so that all of the kids could enjoy it.”

The couple enjoy making memories together.

“We have so many funny memories,” Sam said. “I was in Dublin over the June Bank Holiday weekend, and I was visiting Thomas and we found a man selling minion hats for only €1 each. Naturally, we both bought one and wore them all over town. When Thomas visited me in Canada in the winter I was a little worried about him freezing to death the instant he landed. It turns out that he is pretty tough. We went and fed the caribou and climbed some snow mountains. It was a lot of fun.”

Sam described what she feels makes their relationship work.

“We have a lot of fun together but we have a strong connection too. We just work well. He’s great.”

Thomas echoed her sentiment.

“Sam has so much joy and love in her and I just feel really lucky to be caught in the sunshine of her love."