Bitter family feuds leading to Cork children having to transfer schools

A CORK youth worker has said some children are transferring schools as a result of bitter family feuds that lead to bullying and harassment.

Former Lord Mayor Chris O’Leary, who works with a number of at-risk families, spoke of how conflicts are being passed down through generations and have found their way into the schoolyard. The issue has resulted in some families moving their children from schools in the city to the county, he said.

Mr O’Leary said there was a need for improved conflict resolution. His plea comes just a week after the schools reopened.

“Families have come to me in the context of my work as a community worker, saying they are having an issue with a family conflict,” he said.

“That conflict might have started very small, but it escalated because they always do...a victim might get caught up in it by trying to defend themselves. Their friends will back them and it becomes an ‘us and them’ scenario.

“In some cases, I have even had to go to court with families who were victimised after children were dragged into a feud and it escalated,” he told The Echo.

Mr O’Leary, who previously sat on the Cork Education and Training Board, said: “You’ll find it is the bitterness of some conflicts that causes them to turn into feuds. It’s not just the older people who are perpetuating this. The younger children are also becoming part of the same conflict. That’s very difficult in a school environment, especially when there is no other school for children to transfer to in the community. I know of children who have transferred from schools in their locality because of bullying and harassment.”

He added that a conflict might not be confined to their immediate family.

“A family feud is a classic example of something that’s going to continue into the school environment. It always starts with two adults or siblings. This could be an older sibling or an aunt or even a cousin, but children can become victims by extension. The feud can start over something as minor as an issue with a boyfriend or girlfriend. In most cases, there is some form of conflict resolution being used but it’s not enough. This is not something that can be solved through a meeting. It takes a lot to get people on both sides in the same room together but this is just the beginning of the resolution.

“I have seen feuds that cease for a period only to blow up again. Unless there are effective conflict resolutions, these situations do tend to flare up again.”

“I’ve seen situations where a mother has been assaulted and so forth. I’ve also seen many other feuds turn nasty. When conflict is passed on from one generation to another, the situation can be volatile. In some cases, the teacher isn’t aware that the feud even exists as the bullying is restricted to the school corridor and playground. This can last for generations, and it does.”