I beat drug addiction, now I run a Cork café

If I had met Jack Tobin a few years ago, I would have met a very different person.

Back then, he was hollow-eyed, anxious, nervous, and full of angst, because he was addicted to drugs from the age of 13.

“I was on my knees during 10 years of hell,” says Jack, 25, now a proud father of two and co-owner of the Catch-Up Café in Kanturk with his mother Sonya.

Seeing Jack today, operating in his buzzing café after launching his own brand of coffee, ‘The Recovery Blend’, he is upbeat, buoyant and full of enthusiasm for life and his business.

“It’s one day at a time,” he says.

I love the café. I love the gang I work with. I love meeting and greeting the people who come in, the regular Monday morning walking ladies, I love them all.

Jack is full of the joys of life, citing his café as a community hub for anyone who wants to chat about “things we don’t talk about in Ireland”.

“I want the café to be a community café where people can meet up and chat - they don’t even have to buy a coffee!” he adds.

How did Jack, after spiralling into drug addiction, buy into recovery and end up living life to the full?

“My desire to live was stronger than my desire to die,” he says.

“It came to a point where I had three options; commit suicide because of my mental health deteriorating, overdose from drugs I was putting into my body; or get clean.”

He chose the right path. How did he go down the wrong path?

“I first started using drugs at the age of 13 when I used to smoke cannabis in my home town of Cobh,” says Jack. 

The habit quickly escalated. I developed an addiction to the drug and other substances.

In his teens and twenties, he says: “I was hell-bent on self-annihilation.”

He did try to help himself.

“During my teenage years, I attended the Cork Life Centre where I sat my Junior Cert and my Leaving Cert,” says Jack.

“I was never able to sit still in class or concentrate, so I worked in the cafeteria kitchen of the school. It’s where I learned to cook and where I got my passion for cooking.

“Don O’Leary, the director of the centre, helped me out, helping me focus my mind.”

However, Jack was in the grip of addiction. He spent half his waking hours acquiring and using drugs and the other half trying to hide the fact.

“At the start, it was all fun and games,” he says. “Then it grips you and gets hold of you.

“When you’re younger, you smoke a bit of cannabis. It just progressed from there and it just got worse year after year.

I would have been a daily cannabis user throughout 10 years of addiction, then my habit progressed to the likes of MDM and Xanax.

The world of drugs is seedy. The squalor, dealing in dark corners, the shabbiness, mingling with shadows, the betrayals, constantly dialing the self-destruct button.

“I had brief moments of clarity when I wanted to give up,” he says. “My family never gave up on me.

As his habit spiralled, his friends faded away.

“It started off with the lads having a bit of fun and this and that,” says Jack. “It ended up in a room on my own for years, not wanting to leave the house just using on my own.”

Where was the fun in that?

“Everyone thinks it’s great fun out partying and this and that, but I suppose it led me to a place day in, day out, using to survive, to be able to do anything. I felt high. On top of the world. Full of bravado.”

But Jack was in a spiral.

“I used to dwell on the bad things I said ages ago,” he says.

He had an achy, twitchy sadness about him, and was diagnosed with ADHD. But he had a supportive family around him. A family that would move mountains for him.

They moved home for him.

“Moving to Kanturk, my parents thought it would help me kick the drug habit. It didn’t,” says Jack. 

They thought, rural Ireland. There will be nobody there with drugs.

Wrong.

“Within a week I had all the contacts,” says Jack. “Drugs are everywhere, and are easily available.”

It can be a costly habit.

“Yes, I was spending €50 to €100 a day,” says Jack.

When he spent a stint in the UK in 2017, his drug addiction got worse.

“I ordered cocaine and crack like I was ordering pizza,” says Jack. “I worked in a warehouse. I’d wake up early for work and smoke on the way in, I’d smoke cannabis like cigarettes on the way back and all day during my breaks. When I finished work, I’d do cocaine and Xanax.”

Was there any way back?

“I was like a big child,” says Jack. “I was lost for years.”

Jack returned home after a year and a half. Covid hit, making some people feel rock bottom. Jack was already at rock bottom.

“I was really limited at home,” he says. “The €350 Covid allowance I was getting was a big difference to my decent wages I got in the UK."

Jack was isolated though.

I saw nobody. I didn’t interact with anybody. I didn’t sleep for days. I was high all the time. Every day was a struggle. I had to rob Peter to pay Paul to fund my drug addiction.

“I would tell my parents that I was going to quit drug use many times. I was like a broken record.”

Jack was a broken man.

“I went out one weekend, and I literally said to them, ‘If I don’t die this weekend, that’s it. I’m getting clean. I can’t live my life like this.”

And he didn’t.

“I got home alive.”

Jack wanted to continue living.

“I spent Sunday in bed and on Monday I was on my way to rehab. Don was still in my life. He pointed me to Arbour House where I weaned off tablets for two weeks. I then went to Fellowship House in Cork for 90 days.”

How did Jack manage to stay put in Fellowship House for that long?

“I was set on leaving every day!” laughs Jack. “I even rang a taxi one evening to leave. I was told by the director Con Cremin to stay until morning and go then.”

Jack stayed the distance.

“The counselling and reflection at Fellowship House was very beneficial,” he says.

I had to find out what was I escaping from. What is all this about? I rebelled at first, but realised I had to be open. 

"I settled into treatment. The group classes were great. We were all in the same boat. I was not alone.”

What did he find out about himself?

“I had a mask on for years,” says Jack. “Now it was time to remove it.”

He says despite outward appearance, he was always a big softie at heart.

“I portrayed an aggressive manner. I wanted to fight everyone. I dealt with rough characters, and I thought, I can’t be soft. I acted the big man.”

His grandmother always knew Jack was soft inside. 

“Nanny stood by me for years and years,” says Jack.

He understood he had hurt people for a decade.

My family suffered. Addiction is a family disease. They watched me try and kill myself slowly.

For 10 years, Jack wasn’t himself.

“I didn’t know what I was saying. I didn’t realise the things I had done.”

While getting clean, he did positive things.

“I used to frequent a café in Kanturk, and I got friendly with the owner,” says Jack. “She told me she was returning to Turkey after the earthquake there and was selling up. I said, jokingly to her, ‘What do you want for it?’”

Jack sold the idea of taking over the café to his parents.

“We talked it through, and it was a quick decision,” says Jack.

His mother Sonya is no softie when it comes to progress and moving forward. 

“She said, right. We’re doing it!”

And they did. With a lot of help from their friends.

“Niall, our carpenter, helped us get up and running. He’s working with us now. All the staff are on a WhatsApp group. We’re here for each other every day.”

Why is it called Catch-Up Café?

“I wanted it to be a safe place for people not only in recovery,” says Jack. “I wanted people to come in and have a chat, have the banter and have the laugh.”

Jack is good at having the talk.

“I suppose it makes it OK to talk about mental health and addiction,” he says. “For people not to be afraid to talk about it, not be afraid of what’s going to happen if they do talk about it.

If I can stop one person from using from hearing my story, of hearing where I went with it, then that makes me happy.

Jack still likes to party.

“We’ve a family wedding next week and I’m looking forward to it.”

He won’t be in the shadows. He’ll be on the dance floor. “And I’ll be the first man up in the morning!”