Poems, reflections and quotes  celebrating foster carers goes on display at Cork library

VISITORS to Douglas Library will enjoy a very special exhibition over the coming weeks, following its official opening last Friday evening, as part of Culture Night.

‘Reflections on the care experience in Cork’ is a thought-provoking display of poems and quotes written by young people who have been fostered and their carers.

Whilst the poems are written by young people who have been cared for, the reflections come from the carers.

“Some of the reflections really stopped us in our tracks,” says organiser and Tusla social worker Úna Ó Farrell.

One such reflection reads: ‘A child born to another woman calls me mom – the magnitude of that tragedy and depth of that privilege are never lost on me.’

Úna says: “There is so much in that short reflection. This exhibition is all about honouring the truly amazing, transformative work that foster carers do in this country. 

It’s to celebrate them and also to raise awareness of the role.

One Good Adult

The social worker mentions the well-established idea that it takes one good adult to give a child a positive start in life. This exhibition is all about these ‘good adults,’ showcasing, the inspiring work they do.

“It’s about celebrating those ordinary moments really. One carer mentions how wonderful it is to see a child go from gobbling up their food, for fear of not getting another meal, to relaxing, slowing down, and realising that they are going to be looked after. It’s about that moment when they grasp that they are worthy of care.”

The phenomenal work these carers do reaches far beyond the anecdotal. At the age of 16, fostered children can begin working with the Aftercare Team. At this age they volunteer for continued support and 99% of young people do so. Impressively, 78 % of Aftercare clients in Cork are in full time education or registered apprenticeship.

“There are 380 young people in Cork in our Aftercare programme from the ages of 16-23. This makes us the biggest aftercare service in the country and our young people are doing so well with the help of their carers; 46% continue to remain with their foster carers post 18 years old – while an additional 20% will stay connected with their carer.”

Relationships are at the heart of the fostering experience, says the social worker.

“So over 65% are still linked in with that one good adult that they can call on, in times of celebration or crisis. 

This is because solid, dependable connections have been made.

Carer Shortage

Organisers are also keen to highlight the urgent need for more foster carers in the system.

“Society has changed so much in recent years and that has had a significant impact. There isn’t always someone at home looking after the children these days.

“People are asking grandparents to get involved, they are under so much pressure for childcare. This means there are fewer people able to foster as well, but they are so, so desperately needed.”

Úna Ó Farrell says they are struggling to place children now and that, without a home, they inevitably end up in emergency accommodation which is far less than ideal.

“It used to be that we would have absolutely no problem finding a home for a baby but could have some difficulty placing an older child who might display more challenging, trauma-related behaviours.

Nowadays, we struggle to place even the babies. We can’t meet the demand and that’s the situation across the country.

Choosing to Foster

Some of the reflections are written by relative fosters, as the aim is always to keep a child within their own family or community.

“We always ask family first if, for whatever reason, a child can’t stay with their biological parents. We assess family first to see if it’s appropriate and there are a lot of relative fosters out there.”

Fostering is not the same as parenting, she says, though fosters play a parenting role.

“We are very careful to remind people that this is not a replacement for having their own biological child. The aim is that the child some day returns to their own family. This doesn’t always happen of course and it is often the case that fostered children stay with their foster parents long after they technically have to. Their foster placement becomes their home.”

Úna is also clear that it is not something to enter into for financial gain.

“Foster carers get an allowance but that is to cover the cost of having a child in the house; it includes everything from getting them clothes to paying for school expenses. We hope the allowance will go up in the next budget but it certainly shouldn’t be the driving force behind becoming a carer. That’s not the essence of it.”

Understandably, prospective foster carers may have concerns about taking in children who have suffered trauma, but there is great support out there for those involved.

“Every foster carer gets an allocated social worker to oversee and monitor the placement. The main role of the social worker is to support the carer. The fostered child may go through different stages. 

Something might happen that triggers them in some way and the social worker is there to guide the foster carers through that.

There is also a great amount of training and community support available.

“We have support groups in various locations once a month with the option of a morning or evening session to suit everyone. Carers sit together and discuss what’s happening for them. They are all sharing a similar experience so they are best placed to support one another. Often, they will make their own arrangements to meet up for coffee or whatever. There’s a great network there, willing to offer help and guidance.”

Tusla is excited to host a foster carer appreciation lunch in October in The Rochestown Park Hotel, where carers will be invited to sit down and enjoy a three course meal to celebrate one another, and most importantly, to connect.

Training sessions are also given before and during the fostering experience, she explains.

“We would never place a child in general foster care of someone who hasn’t completed the preparation to foster course. At the start of every year we send out our schedule of training courses, from infant mental health to ensuring online safety for teenagers. Every stage is covered. For anyone interested in fostering, there is a national information night tonight (September 27) at 7pm and another local session on October 18 at 7pm.”

Please visit fostering.ie for more information or contact 1800 226 771.

Tusla Fostering and Aftercare would like to express their deepest gratitude to the young people and foster carers who have made this exhibition possible, and for highlighting the reality of the care experience in Cork.

An Inspiring Role

The overall aim of the exhibition is to break the stigma for those with care experience and allow an insight into the complexity of the care community in Cork, says Úna.

“The feelings, thoughts and emotions shared by those with care experience and their carers offers a window into an often silent sector of society. The exhibition allows for members of the public to become informed about what the care experience can entail, and perhaps inspire them to begin their own fostering journey.”

O’Farrell is herself awed by the work of these foster carers.

“They are truly amazing. We finish work and we go home. These people never stop. Their work is all day, every day, down to the smallest things that really matter, that really make a difference to the lives of these children.”