Julie O'Leary: A memorable day with mum I will always cherish

Last week, I attended the Women and Agriculture Conference held in Cork. It has been years since it was in Cork so it was an opportunity for me to go.

Run by the Irish Country Living section of the Irish Farmers Journal, this isn’t just any old conference for my family, it’s a big deal.

My mum Katherine has been involved in the organisation of the conference for 17 years and her friends and colleagues are all really involved too.

My parents, both individually and together, are well respected in farming circles, I have never known life any other way. They always gave of their time when we were growing up and mum also writes about her life and our lives, just as I do.

This year was a bit different to other years. Mum is in the middle of chemotherapy so managing her energy is something she has to contend with on a whole new level.

Only a couple of weeks before the conference, she had scans and got news that the regime she had been on for months was not working as it should. That was a blow, reigniting fear and worry for my mum, and also a real sense of disappointment because she had been finding the treatment hard and for it not to be having the desired impact just felt extra cruel.

My mum doesn’t dwell, she processes things and proceeds, she deals with things and moves on, while still remembering to thank me for being with her. When she offers that thanks, I feel a particular pang that makes me want to thank her for every single thing she has ever done for me and shake her and tell her there’s nowhere else I would rather be other than next to her.

When she was chatting about the lead up to the conference, she asked if I would attend and help her out in case she would lose energy as chairperson of the day. She felt I know her well enough to spot if she needed a break. As a daughter, it was a huge compliment for her to put such trust in me.

As the days passed, the plot thickened. When the team heard I was planning to attend, they asked if I could say a few words about mum while they were thanking her for all her dedication to the conference for so many years. I will jump at any opportunity to praise my mum but I was also nervous. I hadn’t spoken to a big group in a number of years and since mum is dealing with cancer, my emotions live in my throat, and the last thing I would ever want to do is embarrass her by being a blubbering mess. She is the ultimate professional.

I learned from the best and have been lucky to speak alongside my mother many times. I have supported people to prepare for challenging speeches in my professional life and I also know I can speak well from the heart. I had told mum that her colleague and editor of Irish Country Living, Ciara, had asked me to say a few words. I downplayed my preparation.

On the morning, mum gave her opening address and explained how her treatment was changing. I could feel the collective sigh of women who have followed her for years. She has been a voice and influencer, long before it was a thing. I got to say my piece and it was warmly received by over 600 women, cheering us on.

It is a day I will cherish forever, watching mum be at her absolute best.