Emer O'Callaghan: Bringing out the beauty inside you

I was walking down the marina one evening last week, availing of the bright evenings while we still have them, and down around the Atlantic Pond an otter popped up.

I half-jumped and, along with two other men passing by, we marvelled at his cute little black head while he stared back at us. One of the guys pulled out his phone to take a picture and the otter turned away. We joked how he didn’t do paparazzi!

I thought later how cute he was until I saw his black tail, like a snake. Yuck! Just like humans, otters can have a dark and no-so-cute side.

I know from meeting clients every day that people can be troubled. My beauty treatments can be almost like a therapy session. I often joke to our local priest how he is getting off very lightly these days as I’m the one hearing all the confessions in my job, and he bursts out laughing.

I have some amazing mentors in business, and the biggest takeaway I get from them is that everything in life comes down to the relationship we all have with ourselves.

I am more selective of who gets my time and energy now, because people are two things: either a battery or a drainer. I’m a battery, and drainers love to suck the energy from us.

Of course, we beauty therapists are not trained counsellors, and I advise any client dealing with a serious problem to speak to their GP or see an expert. But many just need a listening ear or to vent, and we Irish do like to over-share at times!

People really want to be seen, heard and loved, and that’s what I see every day in my job.

We all have a choice every morning on what attitude we are going to have that day. I choose my attitude like I choose my clothes, and I always like to practice gratitude.

I truly believe when you are grateful for all you have, God, the universe, hears you and continues to bless you.

In my line of work, no two clients are ever the same; one can come skipping in, delighted to tell you some good news they had like a new grandchild or a son’s engagement, the next might be heartbroken about a loss they had; then the next could be stressed over work; and the next worried about a health issue.

This is where the therapist part comes into the title beauty therapist - it’s a huge aspect of our job.

I listen to people all day long and when I’m finished work, I just wanna go for a long walk or swim just to clear my own head.

I’m a fan of whacking a few balls in the driven range too if I feel a bit wound up, but that’s processing an emotion for me so it’s all good.

I chat to my clients all the time about processing their emotions, this is something we all need to do. If more people took the time and space to process their emotions as they arise, I believe there would be far less illness. Anger, grief, loss, hurt, heartache, all these heavy emotions stay trapped in your body if you do not get them out.

If we could teach young kids in school to sit with a feeling as it arises and process it and move on, then that would be a game-changer for humanity in general.

Lots of men in particular find it hard to process emotions, and I feel it is so important that men and women interact because its that ying and yang of both of us in it together.

Us females bring nuture and care, well, we are supposed to anyway, and far too many men have been told that real men don’t cry and to be tough, the same as us girls were told to be nice and sweet and pretty always.

Both of these stereotypes are just glossing over the fact that we all feel pain emotionally, and suppressing emotions is so bad.

I always tell my friends and family to just get it out, it’s OK, tears are good, there’s a release.

Look at our society at present, we all sit frustrated in traffic every day, there is bad news on the radio or the TV, our phones pop up with breaking bad news, everyone seems stressed, rushing and racing, with no time to talk to anyone - go, go, go.

All our ancestors must be looking down at us today in disbelief.

Respect is something we are losing for each other fast too, In my line of work, we see this a lot, people who don’t show up for their appointment because to them rules don’t apply.

As the years move on, we build our clientele and thankfully can become far more selective in the clients we choose to work with. I have clients 25 years coming to me, we are journeying through life together, and that bond is very special.

Words are so powerful and we can consciously choose to speak kind, loving words to people, and if you practice that enough, it becomes your normal vocabulary.

I tell clients every day how fantastic they are and you visibly see them stand taller and absorb the compliment, but I’m only reiterating a fact and somthing I know they don’t hear enough.

We are all fantastic really, you, me, everyone, and if we tapped into more of our potential, we would make huge changes in the world.

When a bad experience happens, it’s so important to heal and move on and put the past behind you - keep moving forward, because you will never see what is ahead of you if you’re always turned looking over your shoulder, looking at the past.

So many bring their past into every new relationship, like it’s a badge of honour, instead of seeing it as just one chapter in many they have in life.

No-one’s life is perfect and the grass is most certainly never greener elsewhere, that’s just an illusion, the grass is greener where you water and work on it, in your own patch.

While social media has everyone watching everyone else’s lives, I choose to focus on my own life and what journey it will bring me on next. I keep my life as private as I possibly can as I see the value in protecting that more.

I am so grateful for every day and all the lessons and love I have in my life, and I will continue to keep my Nana’s mantra going: ‘We keep the bright side out always.’

I will smile through hurt and pain as that is how I choose to be.

I’m far from perfect, I’m as flawed as the next person, but I choose to process my emotions as they come up, manage my expectations of others, take nothing personally, and keep my own standards high and my heart strong, and treat people how I’d like to be treated myself.

Our character is built by every interaction we have, and we all have our off days, myself included, but we must all try to focus on the good in life, the good in others, and how good we can be today.

I love my job and I like to believe I add value to a client’s day when they come for my treatments.

You can watch Emer’s weekly beauty videos and demos on the Emerald Beauty Clinic’s Facebook/Instagram/TikTok pages now.

Emer O’Callaghan is a multi award winning beauty doctor and skin specialist who won Irish Beauty Therapist of the Year and works at Emerald Organic Beauty Products Ltd, trading as Emerald Beauty Clinic, 021 4365949. A Guinot Crown Elite Clinic and Dermalogica Centre of Excellence, 2008-2026, www.emeraldbeautyclinic.ie.

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