Julie Helen: 'Wedding reminded me that we all share a common history that we are proud of'

I woke on the morning of the August Bank Holiday Monday to the sound of the rain beating off the roof above my head. The farmer’s daughter in me breathed such a sigh of relief. The grass and crops needed a big drink.

Seeing scorched grass is almost alien to me; I don’t remember seeing the grass turn yellow and crunchy very often growing up.

The beautiful, almost tropical weather makes my life infinitely easier than our usual unpredictable, showery weather. Navigating in a wheelchair is so much easier when the environment is dry. I also have significantly less pain than in damp weather. However, all my family members’ and David’s business depends on good grass and crop growth, so personal comfort always comes second.

Rain is welcome; I was happy to hear it.

I was equally delighted that we had thoroughly enjoyed a family wedding before the rain set in. My dad’s nephew Tony and his beautiful bride Emma celebrated in style in Rathmore Church and the idyllic setting of Inishbeg, near Baltimore. I was in a battle of wills with the gravel on the paths while navigating the island destination, but with a strong brother and plenty of cousins and friends on hand, there was no fear of me. There was something particularly special about the drinks reception in a beautiful walled garden area. We sat on benches sipping cold drinks, soaking up the sunshine and enjoying great company.

I’m the eldest of my cousins, as I kept being reminded, as it was the only way anybody introduced me to new people throughout the day. There are 17 of us altogether, and it became a joke. Being old enough to remember them all being born, I wear that as a badge of honour to have had the privilege to babysit them all, watch them grow and find their way in the world, and then come back together for great days and happy celebrations.

We had such a lovely time catching up on all the goings on. We had chats in the sunshine and great messing and banter. A recurring theme was how loud our family is and how many families may view our interactions as arguments, but we are really only having discussions. 

Nobody is shy about giving their opinion, and we have a great laugh while we are at it. Emma slots in perfectly to the crazy shenanigans, and we left knowing we have another couple of weddings coming next year.

By the nature of big families, and life getting in the way, there were a few people missing, whether far-flung or nearby trying to deal with challenges; we all share a common history we are proud of, and it is a joy to be able to come together. It doesn’t seem like too long ago we’d be piled into nana and grandad’s house playing some crazy game, trying not to be given out to for being so loud. Maybe some of the cousins don’t even remember those days; some of them are still in their 20s, so we span many years between us!

The age gaps become less and less important as we are adults, and the common threads give us great connections and fun times. It was a joy to be close enough to the venue to be able to drive home and to be able to offer my parents a bed for the night. I haven’t been out so late in a long time, but everywhere I turned there was another chat to have, which was a great sign of the send-off we gave the newlyweds as they start married life together.