Julie Helen: 'Mum is a gatherer of people and has a special warmth'

A message came through from the other side of the world to say our friend Marianne was arriving from Australia.

It was exciting from the first moment. Marianne and my Mum met in 2004 when my Mum went to Australia on a trip for women in agriculture.

As part of the adventure, the Irish ladies were placed with farming families where they could stay for a week. Mum was placed with the Templetons. Their eldest daughter was named Julia, and they had a niece who had disabilities that gave them a spooky understanding of who we were as a family.

In 2006, we returned to Australia for a family holiday, our last one abroad as a family of six, before any extras came along. We had the best time. We caught up with cousins and spent time with Marianne and Frank and their three girls, Julia, Mollie, and Claire.

In the intervening decade, various family members have been back and forth, and now we all have husbands, wives, and kids. It feels incredibly special to have kept up the connections over the years. It feels so serendipitous that Mum was placed at Templetons’ farm that first time. Mum and Marianne are so alike, kindred spirits across the world, and Dad and Frank are the stamp of each other too, all brought together by pure chance.

When my Mum got her diagnosis of serious cancer in 2023, her friends rallied like nothing I have ever seen. It has been such a lesson in what true friendship looks like because her network of family and friends has sprung into action and remained ready whenever she has needed them.

At the beginning, I knew Mum was a bit gobsmacked at the support around her, but it really wasn’t much of a surprise to me. She is a gatherer of people and has a warmth that is pretty unparalleled. When she helps, she helps in the right way, not the easy way. I have often heard her getting ready to visit someone in need and going there because it is the right thing to do, even if it is the hard thing to do. Then, when she is with people, she says the hard things, acknowledges true challenges, all the while somehow conveying it all with a beautiful positivity; not too much, just enough, and her friends trust her because she will say what she really means, but always hold hope in every conversation. I think she has a special talent for this because she has known hard things in life, but always found the chink of light to keep going. She has an impact of being able to impart advice that you know will be helpful because she has been around the block more than once. So when that beautiful friend, whom we all count on, needed us, it was a no brainer to rally. How lucky am I to be counted among her friends as well as her daughter.

I have been a special witness to Mum’s friendships, particularly over the last three years, because they have all checked in with me too. Marianne being in Ireland is a special boost, and a testament to the way my Mum makes and keeps friends. I have wondered what her secret is, and it is all about being real, laying all the cards on the table, and being together.

The chats and dinners have been mighty, about farming and family and everything in between. It’s very special to have a friend who will cross oceans to get to us. I hope we get to do it all again next year.