My Mini Marathon goal in memory of my dad

WHEN Dr Shelly Chakraborty lines up for The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon in aid of the Irish Cancer Society, it’s not only her husband and daughter that will be cheering her on, her late dad will be too.

“He’s the one who got me walking and running in the first place,” says Shelly, who is married to Akshay. Their daughter, Sakshi, is 18 months.

“I know that he will be looking down on us and blessing all of us. Dad’s focus was always on his health, first and foremost,” says Shelly.

“He was a very active man who walked or ran every day. He was very focused on his health. He put his health first and everything else second. He ate properly and he never smoked or drank, and he was a good weight. 

Dad motivated me to be like him; to be healthier.

It was shattering for the family when Amarendra Chakraborty, a fit, healthy 60-year-old, was diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer not long after he had retired.

“It was unbelievable,” says Shelly who travelled from India to Ireland nine years ago and who is working in research in UCC.

“We were shattered. He had medical issues during lockdown in March, 2020, and was complaining of back pain. In August, 2020, it was confirmed that dad had stage four prostate cancer. It had spread to his bones and the doctors advised that he had less of a chance of getting better.”

Life was looking good for Amarendra before he got the shock diagnosis that was to shorten his life.

“Dad had just retired,” says Shelly. “In India, retirement age is 60. He retired in January and was diagnosed in August. He was quite young.

“My brother, Pratyush, and his wife, Bipasha, who are both working, live close to my parents, but during Covid they weren’t allowed to meet each other because of the pandemic.

In August, despite treatment, the doctors said dad hadn’t long to live.

Far from home, Shelly felt ever closer to her dad at this sad time.

“Dads are superheroes,” says Shelly. “So was mine. I always felt closer to dad, which never meant I loved mum any less. Dad was the apple of my eye.”

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“Akshay says that I look just like him,” says Shelly. “He says that I behave and talk like him in more ways than one. There is a void in my heart that dad is not around anymore. Dad was my role model.”

But Amarendra did come to Shelly’s adopted home of Cork in 2018.

“Both mum and dad came over from India for a month,” says Shelly, who lives in Carrigaline. “Dad loved Ireland. And when I was studying, he would walk Fitzgerald’s Park with Akshay.”

He also had good advice for his daughter.

“Get your steps in, he would say. I didn’t pay him much heed,” says Shelly. “I was not at all interested.

Walking or running was not my priority. I might walk an odd time with my friends maybe.

“I’d tell dad, we’re all going to die, whether we’re 60 or 70, so it didn’t matter. What a shock when dad, with the cancer, was limited to days.”

Shelly recalls happier days.

“My flair for maths came from dad,” says Shelly, who has a Bachelor’s degree and a Masters degree in Statistics. She holds a PhD in Public Health and Medicine from UCC.

“Dad taught me the basics about maths,” says Shelly.

“He made it so much fun. He made maths interesting for me. We’d sit around the dining table and talk about numbers. He led me on a path that became varied and diverse.”

Amarendra knew his only daughter had a bright future.

“He held my hand and he saw what my future looked like,” says Shelly.

Amarendra also listened to his daughter.

“I love to sing, and dad took me to classical music classes on Sundays. I have lovely memories of dad. I just wish I could have spent more time with him.”

When her dad got sick, Shelly knew time was of the essence.

“I was 20 weeks pregnant, and I travelled home to India to see dad in the July and August of 2021. My office at work helped me out and were very good to me.

Dad was in hospital and two bones in his spinal cord had prolapsed and he had an operation. That time was hard both mentally and physically on the family.

Amarendra got a new lease of life when he saw his beloved daughter.

“He was very happy to see me,” says Shelly. “‘You might not see me later’, he said. ‘It is so nice to see you, maybe for the last time, and I am thankful’.”

Shelly wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sakshi was born in India,” says Shelly.

“I stayed on because dad was so sick. So dad got to hold her and see her. ‘I want to see my only granddaughter before I die’, he said.”

And he did.

“Sakshi was born in November, 2021. Dad died a year and two days after, he passed in November, 2022,” says Shelly. “Dad loved Sakshi to bits.”

Shelly misses her dad, her superhero.

“I miss him not being around,” she says.

I always want to call him and ask; ‘how are you? how is life?’

Life has changed a bit for Shelly since her dad died.

“I am walking now every day!” she laughs. “Especially with the mini marathon coming up!

“I try and walk every day for half an hour and at the weekend I do a bit more.

“I work full-time and look after Sakshi. She will cheer for mummy!”

Shelly thinks of her dad when she walks.

“He motivates me in everything I do. Dad is my motivation for everything.”

Shelly is motivated to take part in the mini marathon for the Irish Cancer Society.

“It is 100% a super society,” she says. “The Irish Cancer Society makes a difference to people with cancer and their families.

Cancer comes at a price.

“Cancer is not cheap,” says Shelly. “My dad was in a government job for a long time, so he did not have to pay for his health care when he had cancer. Others had to pay a high price.”

The Irish Cancer Society is an invaluable support for people who need it.

“I am glad to be an advocate for the Irish Cancer Society,” says Shelly.

Shelly, wife, mum, doctor, and advocate for the Irish Cancer Society, is a superhero just like her dad.

What would she say to him now?

“I would say to him, wherever you are, I hope you are not in any more pain, that you are peaceful and happy, and I know you are blessing all of us.”

ABOUT THE RACE

The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon takes place on Sunday, September 17. You can register for the 5km race on www.echolive.ie/minimarathon/

TELL US YOUR STORY

If you want to share your story with us on why you are taking part in The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon, email elaine.duggan@theecho.ie

Irish Cancer Support Line Freephone:1800 200 700