The dos and don’ts of an office romance

FALLING in love at work is a common phenomenon. According to experts, the proximity and shared experiences in the workplace create a foundation for romance, driven by factors like intimacy and familiarity. In essence, the more a person is exposed to something or someone, the more likely they are to develop affection.

Research supports this notion, indicating that approximately 200 hours are needed to form a best-friendship bond. Considering that most adults devote at least 1,680 hours per year to work, the workplace becomes conducive for romantic connections to flourish.

Research by Forbes highlights that over 60% of adults have been involved in workplace romances. Moreover, insights from the dating site eHarmony reveal that 71% desire to flirt with a coworker, and 53% have engaged in workplace dating.

Research done by the global public opinion and data company YouGov says that the one answer to how people in the UK have met their partner is still “through work”, and it remains more common than “through friends”, “in a real-world venue”, and “apps and internet dating”.

But before embarking on a workplace romance, it’s crucial to consider certain dos and don’ts to navigate these relationships effectively.

Do review your contract

It’s not sexy, I know, but it’s worth checking. There’s no explicit law on office romances in Ireland, so company policies govern workplace relationships. Familiarise yourself with your employer’s stance, follow guidelines, and be aware of recent developments, like ITV’s stricter rules requiring disclosure of all relationships with colleagues, influenced by Phillip Schofield’s undisclosed relationship with a younger colleague.

Be aware of the risks

Before acting on your emotions, it’s crucial to consider potential consequences carefully. The relationship may not succeed, leading to hurt feelings on one or both sides. This can pose challenges when returning to a professional dynamic as work colleagues.

Maintain positive intentions. Research indicates that your motives significantly influence how others perceive your actions. If colleagues sense an ‘ego motive’, perceiving the relationship as a means for personal gains, such as advancing in the company or for personal excitement, their opinions of you may be less favourable. Conversely, studies suggest that colleagues generally respond positively when they perceive a genuine and caring connection between individuals falling in love.

Stay away from your boss

Avoid romantic involvement with superiors, direct managers, or those under your supervision, as research suggests such relationships often lead to unfavourable outcomes and negative perceptions, especially in areas with pronounced conflicts of interest.

Falling for a boss can occur due to what is referred to in psychology as the mere-exposure effect, where frequent interactions foster feelings.

Additionally, bosses’ firm and dominant qualities may attract admiration and a desire for association with power.

Don’t conceal the relationship

Refrain from keeping your relationship secret, which can result in trust issues and potential conflicts of interest. Transparency is crucial. Reveal the relationship and maintain openness and transparency regarding your connection with colleagues or managers, particularly if company policies mandate disclosure.

Don’t pack on the PDAs in a work setting

It’s best advised to steer clear of public displays of affection or intimate behaviour in the workplace, as this can make colleagues uncomfortable and may violate company policies.

Also, keep disagreements outside the workplace, ensuring that relationship issues do not impact your professional performance.

Also, avoid showing favouritism: Refrain from displaying bias or favouritism towards your partner in work-related matters. Treat all colleagues fairly and objectively.

Don’t communicate personal messages through work phone or email

Work email and phones are for work business. Keep your love letters to your time and your email. Most employers have policies against using company equipment for personal reasons. Even though these rarely get enforced, you never know when emails may need to be pulled and reviewed for other purposes, and your email pops up.

It is also worth remembering that employees must return the device to the company once employment ends. If this employment is terminated suddenly, you may need more time to back up and remove your data, including photos, texts, and contacts, before the phone must be returned. Check your company’s private use agreement regarding the private use of work phones.

While the office has been the starting point for numerous happy couples, embarking on workplace relationships requires thoughtful and realistic consideration. Although these relationships aren’t inherently negative, their success depends on wise management and clear guidelines. Inadequate handling or a lack of proper guidance can give rise to various issues that affect the overall health of the work environment.

Navigating a workplace romance safely, respectfully, responsibly, and with everyone’s best interests in mind can be challenging, as relationships demand effort, and doing so in a professional setting adds an extra layer of complexity.