How I met my partner: Phil and John knew they were more than ‘Passing Strangers’

“WE SEEM like passing strangers now, how can you hurry by. There were never two who loved half as much as you and I.”

The poignant lyrics of Billy Eckstine and Sarah Vaughan’s classic Passing Strangers took on a deeper meaning for Togher couple Phil and John Dennehy on the day they reunited.

The pair, who have been married 61 years, were still teenagers when they realised the love they had for each other was too strong to ignore. John recalled how the song wafted through the air during a visit from Phil as if by some quirk of fate.

Phil had moved back with her family to Ballyphehane, which meant they were no longer neighbours. Slowly but surely, they drifted apart. Love seemed off the cards until Phil decided to take fate into her own hands.

All it took was a knock on the door to change the course of both their lives forever.

John was just 15-years-old when he and his family moved from High Street to Blackpool and he set eyes on Phil for the first time. Eighteen months his junior, the then student of St Vincent’s Convent was introduced to her future husband by John’s sister Mary. Phil’s family had moved to Ballyphehane but she stayed behind with her grandmother — who lived next door — to finish her schooling.

She and John started off as friends but developed feelings for each other when Phil was around 15.

“Phil used to pal around with three or four girls in a group,” John explained. “Mary used to joke that she must have been the most popular girl in Blackpool because there were always girls calling. It took her a long time to realise she wasn’t the main attraction”.

John insists it was love at first sight.

“As far as friendships go, I associated with the girls more so than the fellas around. However, my eye would have been on Phil from day one. Phil was the quiet one in the group but she still stood out. She was very good looking, wearing her hair in a short ponytail. She was also very smart, even at that young age. We were very young and both just learning that there even was an opposite gender. Phil was decent and she was nice. We weren’t courting but we were enjoying the company of the group.”

Later on, things became more serious.

Date nights, John recalled, consisted of walks in the evening. The couple likely thought their happiness would last forever until Phil had to leave Blackpool to join her family in Ballyphehane.

Both made the decision to get on with their lives separately. With John working as an apprentice electrician and playing Gaelic football with St Nicks and soccer with Rockmount AFC, there was little time for romance. John and Phil would not so much as see each other again until around eight months later.

“I was at home one evening on my own when there was a knock on the front door,” John explained. “Phil asked for my sister Mary but she wasn’t there so I asked her to come in. I only owned two or three records at that time and the one playing was Billy Eckstine and Sarah Vaughan.

“Some of the lyrics talked about two passing strangers and ‘funny how things can change’. It was like the song had been written about us. When that song played we never looked back. From that day on we were inseparable”.

Phil and John were excited about the prospect of spending the rest of their lives together.

“When we married in 1962 we were extremely lucky to rent a refurbished flat, just up the road in Blackpool at Gerald Griffin Street. It was over a shop, owned by Mr and Mrs Collins. They were like extra parents, driving us in the middle of the night on two occasions — when Phil was pregnant with John and Peter. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 37. Up to that point we used to go everywhere on the bike and would see the whole countryside.”

Phil and Mary went on to have seven children together - Fergal, Gillian, Brian, John, Peter, Ann and Kevin.

Juggling family and work wasn’t easy after John pursued his political ambitions. However, Phil was extremely supportive of her husband and together they made it work.

John Dennehy was elected to Cork City Council for the South–West area in 1974 and found himself re-elected at every election until he resigned from the council in 2003 due to a dual mandate rule. He served as Lord Mayor of Cork from 1983 to 1984.

One of the couple’s anecdotes recalled them finding one of their youngest children standing in the kitchen with a scissors during the week an official photo was being taken of the family outside City Hall. The little boy had decided to give himself a haircut making for some uniquely memorable family photography. It was from this incident that he received the nickname “Nick Nick.”

John Dennehy was first elected to Dáil Éireann at the 1987 general election. However, he lost his seat to party colleague Batt O’Keeffe at the 1992 general election. He reclaimed a seat at the 1997 general election and narrowly held it by six votes against a challenge from Kathy Sinnott at the 2002 general election.

The years that followed came with their own share of heartbreak for the couple who lost two children to illness in the space of a few months.

Ann passed away from cancer in 2017 just a few months after her brother Peter died suddenly from a cardiac issue.

John said he and his wife were devastated but kept each other strong though that dark period.

He shared the secrets to a happy marriage.

“I think the most important thing in a marriage is kindness and respect. I have always had so much love and respect for Phil and the same goes for how she treats me.”