How I met my partner: 'Long distance can be challenging, but it's not forever'

AFTER just an hour in each other’s company, smitten Nicole Ryan and Feidhlim Breathnach didn’t want their first date to end.

That was three and a half years ago, when, after weeks of chatting on Instagram, the pair made plans to meet for a drink.

Nicole, from Millstreet, didn’t suppose the drink would ever happen. She was pleasantly surprised when Feidhlim met her soon afterwards in a Galway bar.

Nicole was attending the afters of her friend’s wedding, so made plans for a brief get-together prior to their celebrations. After just minutes of conversation, the pair instantly connected.

Neither Feidhlim nor Nicole wanted the evening to end. It was at that moment that Nicole asked Feidhlim if he would attend the wedding as her plus one.

The Galway native didn’t hesitate in agreeing.

She recalled how smartly dressed and handsome he was.

“He was dressed nicely, so he carried it off,” she told The Echo. 

“When I told my friend before the wedding that I was going on a date she kept saying “bring him along”. I really didn’t think it would happen that way, but it did.” 

Up to that point, Nicole and Feidhlim had never spoken, but knew of each other through friends.

“I had seen him through friends, but we never spoke. He always liked my posts and was very supportive online, so I reached out to say ‘hello’. I didn’t think of it as romantic in any way. At that point, it was purely platonic.”

However, after meeting for the first time, Nicole realised it was anything but.

“We had a lovely evening together and went for breakfast the following day.” 

While the date was perfect, there was still one glaring obstacle: Feidhlim was living in Boston and had only been home for a short time. Even so, he realised that encounters like this don’t come around often. He took a chance on love.

“I never assumed that it would go anywhere,” Nicole says. “Feidhlim asked me if I wanted to make a go of things. 

"I knew that I did and three years later we are still together. Neither of us thought it would happen the way it did. There was no awkwardness. It just fell into place.”

Nicole was attracted to Feidhlim for his supportive nature and kindness.

“I love how supportive and kind he is. He is always there and there is never any judgement. We have very different personalities. He is the complete opposite to me. He’s laid-back and I’m wild in comparison, so he tends to keep me grounded. Even when we were sending messages through Instagram, he couldn’t believe that I was interested in him, because he’s so humble that way. He’s also very adaptable and makes friends anywhere he goes.”

Long-distance relationships are not without their challenges.

“It can be difficult,” Nicole says. 

“There are times where I would love to just meet him and go for a walk. When we see each other, it tends to be in blocks, like at Halloween and Christmas.

“Long-distance relationships can be challenging. A lot of people try it and fail, but it has worked for us and I know it’s not for ever.”

Feidhlim is planning to return to Ireland in the next 18 months.

“We both have our own separate lives, so I think the biggest challenge for us is going to be living together,” Nicole says.

Love couldn’t have come at a better time for Nicole, following an extraordinarily painful few years. Her brother, Alex, had died after taking a synthetic N-Bomb drug at a house party in 2016, prompting her to start the harm-reduction organisation, Alex’s Adventure. The Cork woman said she had been on a number of dates in the years leading up to meeting Feidhlim.

“At first, I wasn’t sure if I should be upfront about everything, but after a while I’d just tell them ‘this is what I do and this is who I am’. I was looking for someone who was emotionally supportive of me. Feidhlim always listens to me, rather than suggesting ways to fix the problem. I’m really glad that I found him.”