How I Met My Partner: Eithne and Dan fell in love and then set up a dating agency

Eithne on meeting Dan

Daniel and I met in what was then CIT, now MTU, when I was in year one and he was in year two of a counselling course that was run by Gus Murray. We were parking our cars next to each other in the college car park and then walked into the college together, chatting away about what we thought of the course. I couldn’t quite place him but his face looked really familiar and then the penny dropped and I recognised him from quoting him for car insurance a year or two before, when he came into the insurance brokerage where I worked.

After that, we kept bumping into each other in the car park or the college library, always stopping to chat and compare what each of us was covering in our respective courses. As he had completed the certificate in counselling the year before, I used to ask him questions about things that I was covering in my course, especially the parts of it I was finding difficult.

Then, we arranged to meet for a coffee, to discuss a part of the course I was finding challenging and which he offered to help me with. After that, we became good friends and when both of our marriages ended, we began spending more and more time together. We were from completely different backgrounds: He was city through and through and I was a country gal, but we really hit it off and felt very comfortable together from the beginning. Our interest in psychology and philosophy was definitely a common bond, as was the fact that we were both going through a marriage separation around the same time.

Going into a committed relationship in your 40s is completely different to when you’re in your 20s. I think we both understood the mistakes we had made first time round, and from those experiences we knew the pitfalls to avoid. 

For example, we knew not to keep things bottled up and that it is much healthier to discuss what ever is bothering us. If you don’t talk about things in the relationship that you have issues with, they will grow into resentments and this makes a wedge in the relationship. Enough resentments can eventually destroy a marriage or partnership.

Fifteen years later and here we are, married and running Twoheartsmeet Matchmaking agency! We have had plenty of ups and downs along the way, but that’s what makes life interesting and keeps us working together as a couple, facing whatever challenges life throws at us and helping each other to become the best versions of ourselves that we can.

My life went on a completely different direction after meeting Daniel, as it was he who gave me the confidence to believe that I could make a go of Twoheartsmeet. Running the dating agency is very rewarding and gives us plenty to talk about. Even though I am the one who meets the clients to complete the personality profiling and then match them with other people on my books, Daniel gives me the male perspective when I’m putting matches together. He also looks after the other day-to-day running of the business, fixes the computer when needs be, does the accounts, etc.

Together, we work really well as a couple and we have a good balance going.

Dan on meeting Eithne

In the mid noughties, I was going through a separation that eventually led to divorce and it was a difficult time for me emotionally: When you’re with someone for a long time it can be difficult to live on your own once more.

I decided that to get my sense of myself back I would take on a degree course in counselling at CIT. As I recall, the literature said that you will gain personal awareness and develop a broader sense of yourself... which at that time sounded perfect!

I was in the second year and pretty well balanced by then when I started chatting to a lady, who turned out to be Eithne, on and off during breaks in the classes. It was mainly around the course, but eventually we started telling each other about our past relationships and experiences. It turned out we both had very similar previous experiences. I think I was, by the end of my second year in the course, emotionally open and honest enough to let someone in and we connected really well.

Eithne and I really connected as time went on, but I can’t say we ever really dated, as on a date! We just spent a lot of evenings together doing things, reading, studying, cooking, going for walks etc.

We had a deep interest in personal development and what motivates people and eventually this led to us setting up a business together, Twoheartsmeet dating agency, matching people.

A belief I have always held regarding the perfect relationship and that is what I call The Trinity: the 3 elements to a lifelong relationship.

The first is attraction, that’s what kicks off with the smiles, touching, and willingness to meet up. The second is connection. You connect in so many ways with interests, family, friends, dreams etc.

The third is Emotion. That’s the harder point to reach! Where you feel for each other on an empathic level and care about what the person feels. In other words, you have reached a deep emotional level with your partner, where you could not bear to hurt them in any way.

The first and second parts usually keeps people together for month’s or even years, but it will not last, unless you attain the third element. I know we have that third element.