Summer Soap, Part 9: A new take on the debate-love is courage and wisdom

Barkeeper Connor:

“Sure, pal.” The young man’s smile came easy as he swished blond hair from his forehead.

“Not going to say no to a free drink from a pretty lady.” He turned to me. “And you heard it here first, another Ichiban. I’ll be done with this one before you even finish pouring the second.”

I stifled a scoff - it was his fourth - but started pouring the beer.

Calum came to Sannyasa often during the week, and was quiet enough. I had the feeling he came from money and that we were just one of the spots he frequented.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if Calum came here just to try to impress girls that he knew pubs outside the city centre. He would just sit with his Ichiban, swiping through four dating apps at once. Sometimes he brought a date. Sometimes he would swipe through the apps while with a date.

Idly, I wondered if he knew about the match at Páirc Uí Rinn tonight, it was rare to see him when the pub was full.

But Calum ignored my muted scoff and wondering. “And don’t think I’m just pulling a fast one for a drink,” he said.”I’ll give you a lesson on love!”

“Really now?” The young woman, Alexis, quirked an eyebrow.

Calum’s laugh rang out unreciprocated as I dropped the beer in front of him. “Oh yeah! But I’ll save the best for the last.” He flashed her a wink and took a deep gulp. He always drank fast. “Don’t want to come across as too narcissistic too soon.”

“Of course...”

“Of course!” Calum dropped the glass and clasped his hands together loudly. The suddenness of the movement made his long piercings swing and twinkle. The guy had to be in theatre or something.

“So, first, the basics: love!” He stretched the vowel and his ringed hands wide. “It rules everything. It rules the world. It rules you.” He reached forward, nearly touching her. “It rules me.” He dragged the hand back, touching it to his chest.

“Alright, so you see love as a grand controlling force?”

Poor girl, I thought, and rolled my eyes. She still thinks this conversation is going to go somewhere.

“Tututut.” Calum shushed her.

“I’m not finished, darling. Love rules, but it rules delicately. It’s passionate, don’t get me wrong, but love itself is a beautiful, delicate thing. Like a flower. And as such, it only festers in the young, beautiful and delicate.

“But that’s a detail for later. For now, all I mean to say is that love is perfect, and brings about every good in the world. Every virtue if you’d rather that word.”

He smiled and leaned forward eagerly. Waiting.

“Well,” Alexis responded slowly, “that’s certainly a large claim for ‘all that you mean to say’. So what...” She started but realised Calum was just allowing a dramatic pause before speaking again.

“Go ahead,” she said flatly.

“As I was saying,” he continued, smile still gleaming. “Every one of the cardinal virtues! I really don’t understand why priests go celibate.

“First, Love is just, you can’t force it.” He began counting on his hands and I had to walk away to not groan in frustration.

“Second, love is temperance because it is the greatest desire in life, forcing people to control their other desires below it.

“Then, love is courage because it can catch the heart of the strongest soldiers and even stop wars.

“And lastly, love is wisdom incarnate. Think of all the greats: Van Gogh, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Kafka. All wise, and all their wisdom comes from their love.”

He pointed a finger and tapped Alexis’ shoulder with his final point. “Huh!”

Huh! I repeated his high pitched voice in my head.

“You speak of love as though it’s an entity,” she moved her shoulder back and responded, unimpressed.

“Well duh!” Calum pursed his lips in that signature look he gave every one of his dates. “Love might as well be a god. And darling, I might as well be love.”