Cork woman: How I’ve learned to cope with COPD

The first time I heard about COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) was in 2009 when I was ill on holiday in Germany.

The doctor suggested that I see my GP on my return to Cork, who, in turn, referred me to a consultant.

I had been experiencing increasing shortness of breath and a constant cough and I was duly diagnosed with the condition.

Through it all, I continued to smoke and the prospect of quitting was very daunting. I gave up smoking temporarily on innumerable occasions over the years and finally managed to beat it in 2011, the hardest challenge of my life.

Up to this point, any health setbacks had been acute: a caesarean-section, a gall-bladder removal. These had all been of varying severity but faded quickly into the past as my health improved. COPD was here to stay. I had a chronic disease.

One night, when I could not sleep because of a bad cough, I read a piece of wisdom on my phone. ‘People with a chronic disease are not pretending to be sick; they are pretending to be well’. How true, I thought.

You pretend that all is as before, and try to keep up with all of the normal activities, rushing so as not to delay people, and hiding your breathlessness. Pretending.

Being diagnosed with COPD was a huge loss, with the realisation that this condition could not be shaken off.

There was a certain grief at this loss of the old me, no longer able to run or walk quickly without breathlessness, along with a feeling of isolation, as everyone I knew at this time was able to carry on as normal.

I had dreams of bouncing along as if my feet were on springs, only to wake to my impairment.

I became anxious and fearful. There was no cure for this predicament I had managed to get myself into.

I also had a feeling of guilt, that I had done this to myself, and that the damage done could not be undone. I worried that it was downhill from here, and whether I would end up needing a wheelchair, or attached to an oxygen machine.

I had the good fortune to be offered a place on a pulmonary rehabilitation pilot programme which was run in St Finbarr’s Hospital. It consisted of a circuit of ten exercises which we did under supervision.

The security of being monitored was very helpful, as breathlessness can be frightening. By the end of the course, I felt stronger and better able to live with my condition.

I subsequently went on to join the Cork South COPD Support group, which meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the newly-refurbished Community Centre in Turner’s Cross.

The network of peers is very heartening and it is lovely to share stories and support. I also partake virtually in the Sing Strong initiative which helps with my breathing.

It is with the encouragement of the people we meet that we move forward in living with our chronic conditions, that we achieve a certain level of self-management and empowerment.

Personally, I am extremely grateful to all those who have kept me out of hospital and enjoying life.

Breathless, a poem by Mary Boyle

Many of us have died.

Will this be the time I do not recover?

The fight back gets groaningly uphill.

Breath scarce, fear grips.

From the car to the trolley stand is daunting.

I make it.

Onwards with this walking aid.

Stop to examine the fruit, the breads.

Coughing attack at the fish counter.

“Enjoy” he says, as he hands me the salmon darnes.

“Have a good day!”

I wish.

Regulate the breathing near the chef’s pantry.

Need mayonnaise.

I buy a ready meal.

No energy to cook.

I see a neighbour and move on quickly.

No breath for conversation.

In to the trolley, out of the trolley,

In to the bags, pay.

“Do you have a rewards card?”

No! Yes! Don’t mind it!

In to the trolley, out to the car.

In to the car. Trolley back.

Walk to car unsupported.

Out of the car, into the house.

I slip the milk in the fridge

Leave the non-perishables in the shopping bags

On the kitchen floor.

In through your nose, deeply.

Out, out, out.

Gently and regularly

Until the heart-beat settles.

I’ll sit awhile,

Recline the chair.

A cobweb on the curtain rail

Catches the breeze.

So much to be done.

So little energy.

Each task a new Everest.

I mourn for the time it was all so easy.

To mark World COPD Day on November 20, COPD Support Ireland is staging a roadshow at Wilton Shopping Centre on Tuesday, November 19, from 2.30pm to 4.30pm, offering free spirometry breathing tests.

This is a simple and painless breathing test where a person breathes into a device called a spirometer, which measures the amount of air a person can blow out of their lungs in one second, and the total amount of air a person can blow out, to see if there is an obstruction to breathing air out of the lungs.

The test will be performed by a respiratory physiologist, with a specialist healthcare professional also on hand to provide health information and advise people on next steps.

For details of roadshows, or to download or order a copy of the COPD & Me booklet, visit www.copd.ie