Cork girl, 17, who won award as a devoted carer for her mother

AT just 17 years old, Lyrah Dooley is is full-time care giver to her mother, Dee.

The Castletownbere teenager was recently acclaimed for her remarkable efforts, named as the Network Munster Young Carer of the Year 2023.

Lyrah is not a kid anymore, but she’s still young at heart.

“She should be living her life and not have the responsibility of looking after me,” says Dee, 41, who suffers from fibromyalgia, a chronic long-lasting condition that causes pain and tenderness throughout the body, as well as fatigue and trouble sleeping.

Scientists do not fully understand what causes it, but people with the disorder have a heightened sensitivity to pain.

“Lyrah should be living a care-free life,” says Dee, who is very proud of her daughter’s recent award.

“No words can explain how proud I am of her,” she says. “She is the very best.

“Lyrah has always looked after me. I was diagnosed when she was 13 and a half, she looked after me even before that and continues to do so.

“She is an amazing, loving girl, and I am so proud to call her my daughter. It is a lot for her to take on, a lot for her to swallow, but she never complains, and always has a smile on her face.”

Dee’s condition means she is often bed-bound and in pain.

“The fibromyalgia can be chronic at times,” says Dee. “Then it is almost impossible to get up out of bed or shower. That is where Lyrah comes in big-time. I suffer a lot from fatigue and insomnia, so day-to-day living can be difficult.”

But Dee has her day brightener and her heart-warmer by her side. Lyrah is a 5th year student full of courage, not afraid of sacrifice, who has determination, commitment and toughness, heart, talent and guts.

She is Dee’s angel.

Like a lot of teenagers, Lyrah has her short-comings.

“We had eaten Christmas dinner together, three of us, the dog included,” says Dee. “It was absolutely delicious, but afterwards I felt something had been missing from the plate. “I like Brussel sprouts, but Lyrah doesn’t like them at all, and she left them off the plates!”

There was an air of celebration in the Dooley household when Lyrah won her well-deserved award as Munster Young Carer of the Year.

“I was shocked that she won,” says Dee. “I was over the moon 100% and I was so happy for the other young carers who were recognised as well.”

Being a carer is not something people often talk about, despite its prevalence.

Lyrah has grown to love the special bond she and her mother share.

“We used to live in Clare,” says Lyrah, who has an older brother, Sean. “We are living here in Castletownbere since May. My mum has been suffering from fibromyalgia for a long time, often not able to get out of bed when she is in intense pain. A glass of water feels heavy to her. The milk for her coffee is too heavy, she needs both hands to hold the glass of water or the carton of milk.

“When she is in a lot of pain, her mental health suffers too, and it all comes together.”

Lyrah is always there for her.

“I get up early before school and we both have breakfast,” says Lyrah, who attends Scoil Phobail Bhéara.

“I come back from school at 1pm to make some food for the two of us and to make sure mum is OK. When I finish school, I change my clothes and I do a few regular chores here at home and I help mum to the bathroom.

“We used to live in a much bigger house. Now that we live in a smaller house, it is that bit easier.”

Lyrah believes in outdoor therapy.

“We live in a beautiful place, and I walk our dog, Barley, for a half hour to an hour. It is therapy for me.

“I go horse-riding on Wednesdays for two hours and I find that is great therapy too.”

Lyrah is practical.

“I use the slow cooker to make our dinners and usually have the cooker on before going to school. I like to make mum feel good.”

Does caring for her mother have an impact on Lyrah’s life?

“Sometimes I have to cancel plans with friends,” says Lyrah. “Often, I can’t go into town in the evenings like they do.”

Sometimes it’s a heavy load on shoulders that are still so young.

“My mental health can be affected at times,” says Lyrah. “It can be really tough. I often felt isolated in my teenage years. Having a smile on my face all the time can be pretty hard.”

But she makes a good job of smiling through the toughest of times.

Lyrah doesn’t get going when the going gets tough.

“I get up and go at it,” she says.

“She is my mum, and she needs me. That’s the way it is. It’s me and mum.”

Lyrah has been by her mother’s side 24/7 since she was young.

“Yes, since I was ten or eleven,” she says.

Lyrah is an all-rounder.

“I love helping my mum. I take over the cleaning and the cooking.”

Her mum knows she has a real-life hero as her wing-woman.

“She tells me that I am an absolute star,” says Lyrah, smiling. “She thanks me every day for all I do for her.”

Lyrah might be a real-life hero, but she is still human.

“Mum knows I get fed-up sometimes, but she absolutely adores me,” says Lyrah. “I know I am appreciated.”

She is acknowledged as a carer beyond the call of duty.

“I was ecstatic and so happy that something good happened,” says Lyrah, speaking about her award.

“Carers put in so much effort, it is great to be acknowledged.”

Lyrah has plans for the future.

“I want to go to college in Cork,” she says. “In fact, I know that I will go to college in Cork.”

She knows what that will take.

“It is a two-and-a-half commute there and back. But I will do it,” says the determined young lady.

She hopes to go far.

“I love music and I want to become a professional song-writer/singer/producer. I was learning guitar but gave it up. I will take it up again.”

No doubt she will.

Lyrah says caring for her beloved mum is rewarding.

“She is always there,” says Lyrah. “We always spend time together, bonding. It is wonderful looking after someone who truly loves you.”

Lyrah doesn’t feel isolated anymore.

“I met other young carers at the awards ceremony. They are absolutely amazing. I was so happy to see everyone, and it was great to feel that you are not alone. That there are other young people in a situation similar to mine. It was great to hear their stories and talk to them about what it’s like to be a carer.”

What is Dee’s dream?

“I dream that Lyrah and I will go horse-riding together,” says Dee. “That is one of the things I’d like to do with her.

“Right now, I am not physically able. But some day, that is my goal, if only for five minutes. We’ll get there.”