Cork mum: Remembering our son who stole our hearts

MUM Grace Kearney-Clifford said her family found BUMBLEance a huge source of support during her son’s illness.

BUMBLEeance is the official Children’s National Ambulance of Ireland purposely designed for children, with the capacity to operate the latest medical equipment and inter- hospital communication systems.

Every September, the family, who live in Ballylickey, Bantry, organise a memorial cycle in aid of BUMBLEance and to remember Mark, who lost his battle with life aged just 10.

“On March 13, 2010, our beautiful boy arrived earth side. It became clear very fast that things were not as they should be and at 52 hours of age, my critically ill boy was placed on life support,” said mum Grace.

“After a neonatal stay and a grim diagnosis of a brain injury, we brought our little bundle home, completely oblivious to what the future held. Life became a rollercoaster ,with some of the most challenging and toughest times along the way.”

Mark was adored from the beginning.

“From the start, it was evident that Mark had stolen our hearts, an exceptional little boy who, despite all the odds, battled through like a superhero. He fought through many an illness with courage and sheer determination,” said Grace.

“Mark received the most wonderful care throughout his short life. We had wonderful support from the Jack and Jill Foundation and were very lucky to have a great team of physios, occupational therapists, and play therapists from Co Action on our doorstep.

“He had a wonderful medical team, an amazing GP, and the most wonderful team of home nurses who all became part of our family and who we treasured dearly. All who were an enormous support to us, Mark’s siblings and to Mark himself, who they simply adored as one of their own.

“Mark was blessed with the love of a sister Mia, and two younger brothers Charlie and Bobby. They adored Mark and saw him as special but normal all at the same time.”

Mark was a happy child.

“He absolutely revelled in the chaos and noise in the house from his siblings, who played, fought and cuddled on a daily basis and he smiled away enjoying the bedlam,” says Grace.

Love was all around.

“Just walking in the front door, you could feel the love,” says Grace.

“With all the amazing times we spent, there was always another hurdle to overcome. We spent many a night asleep on hospital chairs, leaving our sleeping babies at home with yet another ambulance trip.

“The fear and sadness during those times cannot be put into words. There was also guilt for spending so much time away from our other babies,” says Grace.

“We spent a lot of time on St Anne’s ward in the Mercy hospital, and it became a home away from home. There we met some of the kindest people who I now call friends and we will never ever forget the support we received.

“We had many a scare over the course of our ten years with Mark and always hoped and prayed he would outlive his grave diagnosis. We had beautiful holidays, many wonderful Christmases, and we were grateful for every day we spent together.”

Grace said their support system was second to none.

“Mark was loved beyond words. We had a constant flow of grandparents, godparents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends who loved to spend any spare minute they had with him. They read to him, sung to him and cuddled him.”

But tough times lay ahead.

“The year 2020 was a struggle for Mark. He fought pneumonia month after month, and as weak as he had become, he battled on like a soldier.

“Unfortunately, on the morning of August 7, 2020, as the birds were chirping outside, he lost his battle, and took his last breath.”

It was a time of unimaginable grief.

“Our hearts were shattered into a million pieces and life would never be the same again,” said Grace.

“In those dark days, it was Charlie, Mia and Bobby that got us out of bed. They deserved a mom and a dad, whether we were functioning or not. We were merely surviving.”

But Mark’s memory lives on strong.

“Mark is kept alive and is spoken about on a daily basis. Mia, who is six, sings songs to him and draws the most wonderful pictures of us as a family with Markie in the sky.

“It hasn’t got any easier, but we have learnt it is okay to smile again. Again, that is down to our support system, my wonderful family and amazing friends, who have stood by my side and never left, especially through those tough, dark days.

“Since Mark’s passing, every year in September we organise a memorial cycle in honour of our boy. ‘Marks Memorial Cycle’ brings us all together to remember and chat about the wonderful memories of Mark. We do this yearly in aid of BUMBLEance service. BUMBLEance is a charity so close to our hearts and one we would have been lost without.”

BUMBLEance provides journeys for the sickest and youngest patients in Ireland to hospitals and treatment centres.

“Mark had many a trip in the BUMBLEance alongside their wonderful team and we will always be grateful for the sheer dedication, love and laughter they brought with them.

“It is an honour to raise funds for such a wonderful charity and to give back as much love and support as they have shown us and our gorgeous boy throughout the years.

“We will never ever forget how they made life that little bit easier for us as a family through some of the scariest times of our lives, and the difference they make to the lives of many who face similar struggles today.

“The pain we are feeling today is still as intense, and it is difficult to think of a life without seeing that gorgeous smile. I know there will not be a day that passes where he is not missed and talked about.

“Our loss of Mark here on earth means heaven has gained the most amazing angel. King Bee Mark will never be forgotten and has taught us all so much as a family.

“Some people only dream of angels, we have held one in our arms.”

MORE ABOUT BUMBLEANCE AND THE UPCOMING FUNDRAISER

BUMBLEance is The Children’s Ambulance Service.

A spokesperson for the charity said: “Imagine being the parent of a child who requires constant medical intervention and treatment to live, it’s almost permanently heart-breaking. BUMBLEance was born out of that heartbreak. Created to reduce the anxiety and trauma for children across Ireland who are experiencing life-limiting illness or who have complex medical issues, and for those terminally ill children who are making their final journey to the comfort of their own home one last time. We’re there for kids and parents who don’t deserve to find themselves in this position. Children get the care and attention they need for their road to recovery, or to support them to live the most fulfilled lives their conditions allow.

“Unfortunately, some children are given the devastating news that there is no other medical intervention available. We are there for those families too. We refer to these journeys as ‘Angel Trips’. 

"A trip where a King or Queen Bee makes their final journey home as they grow their ‘Angel Wings’. In these, thankfully rare, occasions we are there to give comfort and joy, on a child’s final journey home to be with their family and friends in this heartbreaking moment. BUMBLEance exists because nothing else does, without us, children would have to take the long trip to traumatic treatment on public transport or in the back of the family car, ill or in pain. Without us, there is no alternative.”

To honour past users, on November 20, to mark Remembrance Month, BUMBLEance are asking people to climb the Galtee Mountains at sunrise for a beautiful, guided sunrise hike. There are 100 spaces for this hike, and they are filling up fast. The spokesperson added: “This sunrise hike is dedicated to the 90 children we have brought on their final journey home. By taking part you will be supporting families who avail of our service, all while remembering our Bees that are no longer with us but will always be a part of the BUMBLEance family.”

You can register to take part on www.bumbleance.com/high-spirits/