Julie Helen: 'He was one of a kind...we will miss him so much'

My heart is full of sadness as my friend, colleague, mentor, and fellow advocate, Mark O’Connor died tragically in Louth recently.

Mark’s wife, Louise, and son Evan were also found dead at their home, and their story was splashed across the national news.

I heard that Mark had died from a trusted friend as the story was breaking; otherwise, I would never have believed it to be true.

The shock still lingers, and the tragic circumstances of their untimely deaths is not the story I need to tell today.

Mark and his family deserve a better legacy than how they died.

He lived well, he made a difference, he was sound, he was kind, and he was so full of integrity in all he did. I want to pay tribute to my friend, a man who had an enormous impact on my professional career and was a formidable advocate for Evan, his own precious son who was autistic, but also the countless other people and families who experience intellectual disabilities whom Mark supported across the country.

I first met Mark in 2012, and we bonded over our advocacy in inclusive education. Mark and Louise had set up a school for Evan and his peers in Drogheda, so he had an appropriate place to have his right to education realised. That is what brought him to the world of advocacy and he went back to college to study and enter the field of advocacy full-time.

I had spent three years on the council of the National Council for Special Education, and Mark knew my mum and asked her to put us in touch, as he had only just set up an inclusive education committee in Inclusion Ireland, and he invited me to join.

We clicked straight away and worked together on the committee for a few years while I was a volunteer.

I had the privilege of working with Mark as colleagues in Inclusion Ireland from 2016 to 2021. That happened to be a really important stretch in my career and in my personal life. I was lucky to learn so much from Mark and be in the trenches with him.

We co-faciltated many workshops in the early days, and he was such a steady force. He taught me in being steady for me that being calm and steady were the best attributes we could bring to the advocacy table.

I never actually called him Mark, always ‘Maestro’, and he always half-laughed at me for it. I called him Maestro because he was a master at his craft, supporting many different people in many different tough situations.

He gave so generously of his time in such a kind way. He sat with people, he empathised, and he could always find a path forward.

Mark was my direct line manager for a couple of years, and he never changed from the colleague he had always been. I was so happy working with him. Before he moved on from Inclusion Ireland, he sat me down and made me promise I would back myself to progress in communications and beyond because he thought I was an excellent addition to any team. When I became a communications manager for Inclusion Ireland, mostly thanks to Mark’s encouragement, he was one of the first to call and congratulate me.

He always had my back. I am so grateful to him for all he did in encouraging me, and for the great colleague he was to everyone in the advocacy sector, far and wide. We were lucky to know him and learn from him, he was one of a kind and we will miss him so much.