Emer O'Callaghan: My Valentine’s guide to self-love

It’s Valentine’s Day on Friday, and I don’t know about you, but it feels like only last week we were putting away the Christmas decorations.

Sure, there are Easter eggs all over the shops already; it’s mad how fast time flies.

I love Valentine’s Day, I always have, and in my job as a beautician working with the public, you hear all about the ones who love it, and the people who do not love this day, and sure, isn’t that the world we live in? It takes all kinds.

Personally, I love the buzz and the excitement of Valentine’s Day, oh, the gorgeous flowers, the love hearts everywhere, the frantic faces on men when they realise the roses are all sold out...

Then, in Emerald Beauty Clinic, there are always the hopeful clients who are wishing and waiting on that engagement ring.

Oh, my heart always goes out to these ones because no decent woman likes to see another disappointed. I always try and say things like, ‘Ah, men don’t like big obvious days now like Valentine’s, he might not do it today, he might prefer to surprise you and catch you off guard - men don’t think like us, remember!’

I try to help them manage that expectation as it’s awful to hear anyone was left disappointed. To be fair, a teddy bear and a bunch of flowers are no comparison to that diamond ring and engagement so many hope for this week.

Us beauticians are flat to the mat this week with facials, waxing, manicures, lashes, make-ups - it’s fair to say the women of Cork of all ages do love to glam up for a night out, and if you ask me, every woman deserves to be spoiled because we are so good to so many others and put ourselves last on the list always.

Women do so much, this is why, as a Beauty Doctor, I am forever encouraging women of all ages to make time for their own self-care, because if they don’t, no-one else will, and they will suffer from not doing so.

I call my Sundays ‘Self-Care Sundays’ for this reason. Of course, I don’t spend the whole day bathing in a bath of goat’s milk and lounging around, but I make sure on Sunday I do something nice just for me.

I take time and care, even during my busy week, to make some bit of time for my own self-care, it might be a class I go to, or I might do some meditation, or give myself a facial, or do a foot peel or paint my nails, but I do aim to make time to invest back time, love and care into me too.

I need to keep my own cup full too, and the age-old saying goes that you cannot pour from an empty cup.

This week, I want to give you some suggestions that will help you to start your self-care journey too, because you can’t love another till you love you - so invest in you now.

KINDNESS

If you cannot be kind to you, you certainly cannot be kind to others.

I tell you what would be a lovely act of kindness we could all do this week, and it’s to give a smile to someone, give a few compliments to others, be kind in your words when speaking to people - all of these gestures cost you nothing.

Get your head out of your phone, or your ass, and get some awareness to know that we all share this planet and we all need to be kind to others, that is showing love for humanity and others.

HOME TIME

Plenty of people, male and female, would love a quiet house and home, but life can be frantic, particularly for anyone with kids.

So I’d encourage you to mark out some time every day just for you. Here are some ideas to help you that will help get you on the road to daily self-care actions.

Get up 30 minutes earlier while the house is quiet and do some exercise, cardio or yoga, or maybe meditation if your stress levels are high.

Switching from showers to baths, if you have one, is a great way to unwind and relax both body and mind and relieve stress from your tired, tense muscles. Or do as I do and invest in an outdoor plunge pool, fill it with cold water and ice and hop into that for a few minutes - that will wake ya up, I can tell ya.

If you are not allergic to it, pick up some pure essential oil lavender in a health shop - it needs to be pure to be good - and use it in these various ways: Put some in your bath or shower gel, sprinkle on your pillows at night, add some to an oil burner in your bedroom, or if you have a stressful day add some to a tissue and smell it throughout the day, it will instantly relax you, or rub some onto your pulse for some extra calm.

Sleep is one of the most underrated but best things for all our bodies, as it is in our sleep that we heal, grow, and reset the body and mind.

Broken or poor sleep does affect your beauty and your health, so put the phone down before bed and wind down.

PROFESSIONAL JOB

The reason that us beauticians are so busy is because the clients that do come to us can see and feel the value in doing so.

They know their investment is paying off.

Take, for example, a facial. While getting all their dead skin removed and their skin professionally cared for to help them look younger, more radiant and glowing, they are also getting a safe space to relax with no interruptions.

When you come for a beauty treatment, it’s your time, you get to step off that treadmill of life for a while and lie down and be still.

It’s a pause from the rat race of life, and a fantastic example for any parent to give their children to see them going and investing time and care back into themselves.

I did a beauty video on this recently and you can watch it on the Emerald Beauty Cclinic Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok pages now.

MAINTENANCE

The smart woman knows to stay on top of her maintenance. Facial hair won’t go away, you need to maintain it, the same with acne and rosacea and any skin conditions, nails and eyebrows too.

From chatting to other beauticians, I found the most popular beauty treats for Valentine’s Day 2025 were a bikini wax, then nails, and then eyelashes.

I know a lovely man who told me once he has given his wife the same Valentine’s card for the past 30 years. “What I wrote to her on our first Valentines, I still mean every word, so why change it?” he explained.

I thought it was gorgeous, a smart man who knows a happy wife is a happy life. Valentine’s Day, whether you love it like me or dislike it, it’s a great day to take the opportunity to tell those that we love that we love them, and sure, that will cost you nothing.

God knows, this world needs more love now, spread it this week because what you give out, you always get back. Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

• Emer O’Callaghan is a Beauty Doctor and skin expert who won Irish Beauty Therapist of the Year and works at Emerald Organic Beauty Products Ltd, trading as Emerald Beauty Clinic, 021 4365949, a multi award-winning clinic 2008-2025. See www.emeraldbeautyclinic.ie.