‘There is another narrative’: Cork author hopes debut book will start conversations

From chucking in a permanent pensionable job at UCC to writing a book and launching herself as a singer, Ballinhassig-based Noreen O’Mahony has never taken the safe path in life.

Rather, this 58-year-old single mother-of-one likes to challenge herself at a time in life when many women are slowing down.

For Noreen, who has worked as a language teacher in France, Spain and Mexico, the best is yet to come.

She self-published her debut book When Sleeping Women Awaken, recently.

Among various topics, it deals with female sexuality, women and alcohol, the self-defeating tendency to believe the negative opinions of others, and there is an essay entitled ‘Is Marriage a Myth?’

It’s a book that can be dipped into, and Noreen hopes that it will start conversations among women.

“When I turned 50, I felt a great energy come in,” she says.

“It was a kind of transition energy. I refused to listen to all the negativity about the menopause.

“I do understand that some people suffer more than others with the menopause. But I saw it as a new energy (accompanied by) a new wisdom and courage.”

Noreen doesn’t pretend to have all the answers. She admits she is still only getting to know herself.

“I was listening to something very interesting recently, about the whole biological cycle,” she says.

“Men can procreate all their lives. Women can’t. So, why from an evolutionary point of view, do we stick around for so long after the menopause? It’s because we are wisdom-keepers.

“That resonated with me. We have to change the story we’re telling ourselves. Instead of thinking we’re done and it’s over and talking about aches and pains and medication, there is another narrative.”

Having always kept diaries, Noreen started to write her book during the covid lockdowns and found that she had plenty to say.

She adds that writing came easily to her.

Writing about women and alcohol, Noreen says: “It is something that has been totally glamorised; the Sauvignon Blanc, the Prosecco moments. Yet Irish people in particular know the damage that alcohol can cause.”

Noreen also deals with the fear around childbirth in her book.

“We have forgotten the spirituality of birth. We’ve been told we can’t bring babies into the world without medical intervention. It’s not true. I don’t know all the answers. Everyone has to find their own answer. But I feel women should be having these real conversations and maybe stop watching Netflix all the time.”

The plan for Noreen was to give birth to her son at home. But Diarmuid, who will be 18 in January, was overdue by two weeks.

“I had to follow medical protocol and go to hospital. I didn’t have any issue with that. 

"But I had the most empowering birth. I had Diarmuid at 40 so I knew I was only going to have one child. I wanted to experience it in all its wonder, which I did.

“I love telling people about it, especially young women. We’re designed to give birth.”

Noreen opted not to have an epidural or any painkillers.

“I had done a course about transcending the pain by working on the mind. I did my research. In the book, I say that people research a car more than they do about giving birth.”

Did she find being a single mother difficult?

“Not really. I was in UCC for ten years as director of studies in the language centre, teaching English to international students and teaching some of the medical students communication skills.

“I left that job when I was 50, walking out the door of a pensionable job much to the dismay of family members (who were very supportive in helping to rear Diarmuid.) I felt that I was pot-bound. I knew I had grown as much as I could in the role, wonderful and all as it was. I have done a lot of self-development and I understand that we are either growing or dying; nothing stays the same. That’s why I had to leave. I only understood that in hindsight.”

Noreen was unfazed about starting afresh in mid-life.

“I did different things such as selling products, doing network marketing and taking on a restaurant in Kinsale. I had worked in bars and had done hotel management back in the day. I thought having a restaurant would be lovely. It didn’t work out but I learned a lot. I sold log cabins and steel sheds during covid.”

Sales suited Noreen.

“I’m a countrywoman, a farmer’s daughter. I’d chat away to people because I grew up around cattle and horses. Selling came very easily to me. I was selling kitchens until recently. I like helping people to transform spaces.”

Noreen’s career also included spending three years running a boarding school in Callan, County Kilkenny.

“I was the general manager at St Brigid’s. I learned a lot from the young women there and they knocked the corners off me. It was a great experience. It was a live-in job five nights of the week, so I had to leave it after a while. Sister Assumpta Saunders from the school, who is about 97, gave me the name for my book. She told me that the saying goes that ‘when sleeping women awaken, mountains move’. (It’s a Chinese proverb.)”

Noreen is living proof of leading a vividly active life. She also started singing in public recently and has a band in which her son is the drummer. She performs covers, songs such as You Raise Me Up and My Way, with her own twist on the lyrics. Noreen is a very positive person.

“Our thoughts create our reality so we just have to change the thinking a little bit,” she says.

“I know there’s a toxic patriarchy and I talk about it in the book. But I also feel that the young people of Diarmuid’s age are very advanced around emotional stuff. I think they’re going to surprise us. We have to live in hope.”

‘When Sleeping Women Awaken’ is available through Amazon at €8.95.