Cork woman: Life after breast cancer... so much has changed

Ingrid Cashell now has time to stop and smell the roses.

“I must have about 100 plants in the garden,” says Ingrid, who lives in Carrigtwohill, an employee of Bank of Ireland.

She has time to stop and look. She has time to listen.

“I can spend hours in the garden in hail, sleet or snow just wondering at the beauty of nature and listening to the birds,” says Ingrid.

“In the garden I have feeders for the birds and bird baths. It’s wonderful!”

Once upon a time there weren’t enough hours in the day for Ingrid.

“It was all about work, work, work,” she says.

What changed?

“In 2022, I was at work as usual and I was experiencing menopausal symptoms, having the sweats for example,” says Ingrid.

“A colleague asked me if I had ever considered going on HRT, so I decided to go to my GP, Linda O’Keeffe, who told me that women over 50 need to have a mammogram before going on HRT.”

Ingrid duly made an appointment with the breast clinic in Cork and got a cancellation appointment for the next day.

“A week later, I returned to the clinic for an ultra-sound. When the nurse said they’d do a biopsy I wasn’t overly concerned,” says Ingrid.

“I didn’t give it a second thought. My only thought was about getting back to work, which was then at the Bank of Ireland in Douglas.”

Ingrid went back to work and didn’t think any more about the pending results of the biopsy. Until she got the news that she had breast cancer.

“It came absolutely out of the blue,” says Ingrid.

I had no lumps; no symptoms. Seemingly, the cancer was near the chest bone, so I didn’t feel anything at the surface.

“I was told if I had waited until I felt something, then a very different conversation would have ensued.”

Ingrid didn’t have time to digest the news.

“It was difficult to take in,” she says.

She asked the question when was the cancerous lump to be removed, this year or next year?

“In a couple of weeks’ was the answer,” recalls Ingrid.

“It began to sink in that this had to be seen to ASAP.”

Two weeks later, Ingrid was in the Bon Secours Hospital in Cork.

“I had a lumpectomy, and some lymph nodes affected were removed,” she says.

Was there any history of cancer in Ingrid’s family?

“My first cousin had a double mastectomy nine years ago,” says Ingrid. “Other than that, no.”

Covid added to the stress of Ingrid’s situation.

“My daughter came home from the UK to be there for me,” she says. “But she wasn’t allowed into the hospital.”

Everything felt surreal.

I was still in shock. I felt like I wasn’t in the real world. I kept saying, ‘I can’t believe it.

Ingrid, like many of us, thought of herself as immune to such situations.

“I’m invincible, I thought,” says Ingrid.

“I thought I’d be back at work after Christmas. I didn’t take into account the horrible side effects of radium treatment.”

Time passed.

“Every month I kept thinking I’d be better. That I could go back to work. That was my main aim. My focus wasn’t on healing or recovery.”

Her focus wasn’t on the right things.

“What I was doing was not working,” says Ingrid, who is an independent lady.

“It took such a lot for me to ask for help.

“I had finished treatment in early February. I felt frustrated that I wasn’t healing fast enough. I looked at my breast cancer as an inconvenient interruption in my life. I wanted to get back to normal, to get back to work.”

Ingrid was still not living in the real world.

“It took me a whole year to reach out to ARC House Cork,” she says.

“I was still in denial. I kept saying, ‘I still don’t believe it’. This didn’t happen.”

But it did.

“Yes, it did,” says Ingrid.

“I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I was denying it ever happened. I just wanted to get back to work. I was 100% in denial.”

Ingrid thought she was in another world.

I thought, I’m superwoman! My head was melted.

She was hell bent on returning to work; but she took another avenue first.

“The first day I went to ARC House, I felt my two arms were chopped off because I couldn’t work,” says Ingrid.

Was she addicted to work?

“I’ve always worked. I find my job satisfying from a social aspect as well as a financial aspect. I get on well with all my colleagues and I like working with them.”

How things have changed!

Ingrid laughs.

“Work now is a very small part of my life. I work three days a week.”

This Cork lady woke up and smelt the roses.

“The realisation dawned on me that I needed time to spend on myself, on me,” says Ingrid.

“When I walked thought the door of ARC House, I was asked, ‘what can we do for you? Can I get a cup of coffee for you? It was all about you. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.”

Ingrid saw the world with new eyes.

“I was focused so much on work that I hadn’t focused on relationships, friendships; the good things in life,” Ingrid adds.

I never focused on me.

At ARC House, something profound took place. A new dawn arrived.

“Something clicked,” says Ingrid.

“It was their kind approach. It was all about you. There was no ‘have to, have to’. There was no pressure. There was no need to beat myself up.

“As I was recovering, if I did nothing all day, I no longer felt guilty. If I just got the clothes washed and dried, that was OK. If I took a day off for myself; that was OK. If you had said that to me two years ago, I would have said, ‘You’re off your game’! So much has changed.”

Ingrid’s world has changed now that her perspective has changed after having breast cancer.

“If I want do nothing for two hours, then that’s OK,” she says.

She often does something soothing.

“I can take the time to soak my feet now for two hours now, no bother!” says Ingrid.

She spends time on herself.

“If I want to get my nails done or get my hair done, then I’ll take a day to do that. If a friend asks to meet me for coffee; I ask what day? I changed my mindset, and stopped criticising myself,” says Ingrid.

I put myself on the back burner.

ARC House didn’t put Ingrid on the back burner.

“I got acupuncture at ARC House for pain relief. I wasn’t doped up from medication. When I had a chest infection, I got physiotherapy from the physio.”

Life is good now for Ingrid.

“I’ve taken up acrylic painting! Something I’d never have thought of before. I call my sister in West Cork ‘The Horticulturist’, she’s so good at gardening.

“She can’t believe my new project in the garden has 100 thriving plants!”

Why doesn’t she? After all, Ingrid Cashell is superwoman!

MORE ABOUT BREAST CANCER

More people are surviving breast cancer every year. Breast cancer makes up 23% of all cancer survivors.

Research and early detection are essential to improving outcomes for patients.

A total of 3,422 women were diagnosed with breast cancer between 2019-21.

It is the second most common cause of cancer death in women in Ireland. Breast cancer can also affect men.

There are 49,164 breast cancer survivors living in Ireland.

SUPPORT

Irish Cancer Society Freephone Support Line: 1800 200 700 Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm General enquiries: 01-2310500 Email: supportline@irishcancer.ie

Cork ARC Cancer Support House: Sarsfield Road, Wilton, Cork. Phone: 021-4276688