Dr Michelle O'Driscoll: Don't suffer domestic abuse in silence

During a recent visit to the GP, I went to use the restroom, and noticed as I washed my hands an A4 poster on the wall from a voluntary organisation, inviting anybody experiencing domestic violence to call them for help and support.

Observing the poster, I was struck by two things. Firstly, that the phone numbers along the bottom that you could pull off to take away were very non-descript. Just a number, nothing else to indicate the reason for it. A safety measure, to ensure nobody triggered further abuse due to having this number in their possession. And secondly, that of around 12 slips provided, four had already been removed.

Internationally, the emerging news last week of the killing of Olympic athlete Rebecca Cheptegei by being doused in petrol and set alight by her ex-partner was harrowing. Actions do not have to be as extreme as this to cause extreme suffering. Often, the more insidious actions are harder to spot, but should not be underestimated either. And every day behind closed doors, women and men are indeed suffering at the hands of a partner.

Domestic violence is a significant issue. Irish figures show that 15% of women and 6% of men have experienced extremely abusive behaviour by a partner at some point.

In 2023, Women’s Aid received over 40,000 reports of abuse. There’s a gender difference in figures and in how abuse is experienced, with women more likely to fall victim to abuse at the hands of their partners.

Men also experience domestic violence, but not to the extent that they experience violence from others that they don’t know. Types of domestic abuse that can be experienced include physical, psychological, sexual, financial or isolation.

We know that fewer than 40% of women who experience any sort of abuse reach out for help. A 2022 initiative by the Irish Pharmacy Union, which is still growing its profile and presence amongst the public, is the Safe Pharmacy programme. This has been set up to offer all those, women and men experiencing domestic abuse or coersive control a safe place to seek out help. Look out for the purple sticker on the door of the pharmacy.

If at any stage you feel you need to reach out for help, you’re invited to enter the pharmacy and ask a staff member for the use of their consultation room. 

There, they will provide you with safe and private use of a phone to call a family member, an Garda Siochana, or a local domestic violence centre who can guide you on next steps.

The poster in the GP’s rest room very much emphasised for me the sensitivity of this issue, and the risk that somebody may be taking by even reaching out, for fear they get found out by their abuser and make their situation worse.

Rest assured that there are many supports to reach out to in confidence who will treat your interactions with the utmost confidentiality and sensitivity, and will guide and support you every step of the way - help is at hand so don’t suffer in silence, and take that first step.

For support services in Cork see;

https://www.osscork.com/

https://mnafeasa.com/

https://westcorkwomensproject.ie/