Yes/Yesreferendum campaign is launched in Cork

“DOES anybody hear me? Is anybody going to help me?” asked Judy (not her real name) at the launch of the civil society Yes/Yes referendum campaign in Connolly Hall, Cork last Thursday, organised by the National Women’s Council and Family Carers Ireland.

Judy, who has a disability, is a full-time single mother to a teenage boy who also has special needs.

She was among those attending the launch, who spoke from the audience.

I have begged for years for support from the government and got nothing... I can’t deal with this anymore.

Judy wants someone “to have my back, to hold me even if it’s only for a couple of hours and take the pressure off for a little while”.

She said the word ‘strive’ in the proposed care amendment to the Constitution is “insulting” to people with disabilities and carers.

The language, she believes, needs to be stronger and an improvement on the proposed amendment, which reads: ‘The State recognises that the provision of care, by members of a family to one another by reason of the bonds that exist among them, gives to society a support without which the common good cannot be achieved, and shall strive to support such provision.’

The Cork launch of the campaign was an evening of personal disclosure, with Stephen Teap giving the keynote address.

Stephen lost his wife, Irene, to cervical cancer in 2017. He has been a leading voice and campaigner in the CervicalCheck cancer scandal ever since.

Stephen, Cork Person of the Year in 2019, decided to resign “from a very good job and become a full-time stay-at-home dad” to his young sons, Oscar and Noah, aged just four and two, when their mother died arising out of the cervical check scandal.

While he is proud of his decision, Stephen says that as a widower and a sole parent, he gets “zero recognition” from the State.

When Oscar started school, Stephen admitted to having “almost sleepless nights” in the run up to Mother’s Day. He was afraid that his son would be the odd one out when all his peers would be making cards for their mothers. But when he spoke to Oscar’s teacher about his fears, she assured him that the school celebrates what they call ‘carers day’ instead of Mothers Day. This is to acknowledge that there are different variations of families in the school.

One such person reared outside of the traditional family unit is the Labour Party’s Laura Harmon, who chaired the launch and spoke of being born in 1986 to a single mother.

Laura’s mother experienced oppression “because of a lack of value for all types of families in the constitution. That same constitution also did not value the immense care my grandfather gave to me when I was a baby and when I was growing up.

Unfortunately, my grandparents didn’t get to see all the changes in recent years such as marriage equality, repealing the 8th amendment and divorce as well.

With more than 40% of births taking place outside marriage today, Professor Louise Crowley of UCC’s law faculty, stressed the importance of a ‘yes’ vote “in respect of the expansion of the definition of the family.”

She continued: “We are lucky to live in a society where family formations are diverse. Evidently, these social trends have outpaced the constitution, pushing well beyond the boundaries of the proscriptive notion of family that it references.”

She asked: “When has the State ever stepped in to provide the income required to allow mothers to maintain duties in the home?

I deeply resent the unavoidable implication that in contributing to the paid workplace and securing my income, somehow this is seen as being at the cost of my duties in the home.

Louise, a married mother-of-three, who expressed sympathy for Judy and another unsupported carer that spoke up the launch, said her 18-year-old daughter got a late diagnosis of autism at 16, and has been out of the school system since she was 15.

“I have reached out for support and got nothing, just a letter from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service). I remember putting it on the fridge on February 1, 2022. They rang me on February 28, 2023. I’m now paying for three therapists every week for my daughter. I’m fortunate that I can afford it.”

She says that her situation “is not easy. I hear you. I know the State fails people. I know it personally. I know that what we have in the constitution doesn’t serve us. I know that the legislation and the will to do something about it isn’t there and hasn’t been there in repeated governments. But at the moment we have no building blocks to force the hand of the government. If we bring in the care amendment, what we have is recognition that care is needed and provided by many different people.”

Richie Molloy, of Family Carers Ireland, asked what will be different on the day after the referendums on March 9.

“If the amendment (on care) goes into the constitution, we’ll have some leverage. The State will be saying there is such a person as a family carer... It has taken nearly 20 years to get here. If we don’t (change the constitution), they won’t give us another wording. That’s my opinion.”

Urging Yes/Yes votes on March 8, Orla O’Connor, director of the National Women’s Council, said: “These votes are our opportunity to shape a fairer, more equal Ireland where all families and children are valued equally. An Ireland where the important contribution of care by both men and women is recognised.

“It’s our chance to send a strong message to the government that we want to see supports for families and for carers.”