Eimear Hutchinson: A reflection on my motherhood journey to-date

MOTHER’S Day is hot off the back of International Women’s Day this year, so it feels like March is the month of the female.

Whether you believe we deserve it or we don’t, that is up to you, but I personally think we warrant the fanfare, I would though, wouldn’t I, being a woman!

This will be my eleventh Mother’s Day which I find utterly mind-boggling, ‘they’ say the days are long but the years are short and that is without a doubt the truth of it.

In the lead up to Mother’s Day, it can sort of feel like the narrative focuses heavily on what gifts to buy for your mother, but for me I think it is a great opportunity to reflect on my journey in motherhood so far.

I often laugh to myself when I think about who I was in my twenties – footloose and fancy free, I always went with my gut, charging from college into a job then back to college again with just myself to answer.

I was about a year into my first real job and the early stages of a new relationship when we were flung headlong into the idea of parent-hood long before we had ever even considered the option. Thankfully, I had met someone who liked to run off their gut feeling too and somehow we knew it would all work out.

And it did – it was like a domino effect and within six years, by the time I was 33 we had four little ladies to keep us busy. I was surprised (and I believe my own mother was too!) at just how maternal I turned out to be. I was never the child that played with dolls or Barbies, I was more into lego and crafts, but it turns out whatever you turn your hands to can be used to create a happy home.

I am so incredibly lucky and grateful for where motherhood has led me so far. Of course, it has not been without its ups and downs, no journey ever is, but there is learning in that. The emotions, the endless nights, the worry, the guilt, the love, it’s a lot to deal with and manage.

I am grateful for all my own mother taught me in terms of the person I have become that is able to move at a mile a minute and not lose herself along the way. 

She is also testament to the fact that a mother’s job is never done when it comes to offering support and guidance to offspring regardless of what age they might be.

If I have learned anything from having children a little sooner than friends, it has been this – be a listener first and an advisor second. Mothers, especially in more recent years, are often bombarded with information from all sides; online, neighbours, their own parents, doctors, public health nurses - you name it, all there to offer advice. That is wonderful and we are very lucky to have the wealth of knowledge about raising children that we do now.

As a friend to a mother, however, it can be equally as useful to simply be there if they just need an ear to confide in, to rant in, or to seek solace in. If advice is requested, give it in a way that causes no judgement, we judge ourselves harshly enough without having to bear the weight of other people’s often unhelpful judgement.

Looking forward, if I have any wish for how my parenting skills will be judged come D-day, I can only hope that my girls grow up as kind, empathetic, helpful and independent women. 

I will be proud of every one of their achievements, whatever they are, but if they can be content in whatever they do, then that is all I can wish for. Those who are content are happy in themselves, and by virtue of that fact, they are happy for others.

For Mother’s Day this year, we are going on a family day out which will be a welcome break after many weekends dominated by sports and sicknesses. Lismore Castle is a firm favourite of mine, if you haven’t visited the gardens during the summer months I would highly recommend it as it is a visual feast for the eyes. For Mother’s Day they are holding a special Afternoon Tea hosted by the castle’s butler in the castle followed by a guided tour of the gardens. I cannot wait!

Whatever stage of motherhood you are at, I hope you are surrounded by love and support on this Mother’s Day. It has been a challenging few years for parents, mothers and fathers alike, so I hope you raise a glass to yourself this Mother’s Day, toast your successes, and don’t dwell on the lows for the day that’s in it.