Promoting positivity and kindness among teenage girls

I AM not going to pretend I know what it is like to live with teenagers yet, we are a couple of years off it. It is, however, something that lingers around the back of my mind on a relatively regular basis.

I have a ten-year-old who is already stretching her hormonal muscles, and during the weeks where I am feeling hormonal myself, I think forward to a time when I will be in my mid-forties and we will have 18, 16, 14 and 12 year old girls, it’ll be heaven on earth, I’m sure!

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the world for young women worries me – I have friends who are guards and nurses and the worrying rise in drug-taking over alcohol amongst young people puts the fear of god into us all at our weekly coffee mornings.

I worry about the impact of social media on my daughters’ perception of the world and the effect of online chatter between the girls and their friends, knowing how easy it is to misunderstand text messages even as an adult.

If you have never heard of The Shona Project and you have girls in the family, it is definitely worth a look. Based out of Waterford, it aims to promote positivity and kindness among teenage girls and help them to see that, despite what social media might lead us to believe, perfection is not reality. The group aims to promote and normalise a world where teenage girls treat themselves and each other with the kindness and empathy that they deserve.

The Shona Project runs workshops in secondary schools across the country and they explore topics such as the challenges facing young women in Ireland today, about respecting people’s differences, and helping young girls figure out their place in the world.

The Shona Project and its partners at The Youth Lab and the Irish Secondary Students Union recently carried out some research and the results will open your eyes to the thoughts and feelings of teenage girls in Ireland.

I think this research, while worrying really, can also help shape our teaching as parents as it gives us further insight into the often closed off minds of some teenagers.

The research found in the past six months alone, teenage girls claimed that because of social media they struggled with low body image (61%), feeling isolated (55%), low self-esteem (52%) and low mental health (48%).

To be honest I don’t think it’s just teenage girls that can sometimes feel this way because of social media – I have often come away from Instagram and thought that my clothes weren’t stylish enough, my tummy could be flatter, my house could be tidier, and that I don’t travel or go out enough. The thing is that adults are probably better adept at knowing how to shake that feeling off, knowing how to readjust our mindset and feel grateful for what we have, and to always, always, remind ourselves that the internet isn’t real, it’s a snippet of perfection in someone’s probably wildly messy life.

That is a narrative we need to constantly remind teenage girls of so that they can have a positive and inspiring experience with the online world.

Sport is one of my biggest loves and the research found almost half (42%) of teen girls in Ireland have given up sports in the last 24 months, the main reason being a lack of motivation to attend. I can see that myself with my involvement in our local athletics club, I met a lot of parents of teenage girls this summer that were switching things up to ensure their daughters stayed with the sport and that is hugely commendable. There are other factors such as friends dropping out and periods that impact a teenage girl’s enthusiasm for sport, but any sort of physical activity is great for the mind and the mood, so whatever you can do to encourage it is worth a try. It might be just that you manage to drag your teenager out for a walk which could provide the time and space to have a catch-up, because a third of respondents agreed their parents don’t have a good understanding of what’s going on in their lives!

I can only hope that my girls will make good choices when they are older, that the years spent teaching them to be independent as children, watching patiently as they learn to tie their own laces or go into playschool with tops on backwards because they did it themselves, will pay off when they are teenagers. It is about finding a balance between the need to protect them, the urge to help them navigate the world, and their eagerness to do that all by themselves. Keeping the lines of communication open is probably the most important thing to do but also probably the hardest. Can you tell I can’t wait for them to be teenagers…

UPCOMING EVENT

On October 11 and 12, The Shona Project will launch its hybrid (online and in-person), multi-award-winning SHINE Festival in celebration of International Day Of The Girl.

The two-day event will have more than 100 impressive online and in-person speakers, including Roxie Nafousi, Erica Cody, Louise McSharry, Ellen Keane, Georgie Crawford, Senator Eileen Flynn, special musical guest Lea Heart, and many more.

Guests can tune in free of charge online and the in-person event will take place at The Conference Centre at The Clayton Hotel, Burlington Road, where over 1,000 girls each day will hear about topics such as mental health, wellness, mindset, career, diversity, individuality, the arts, sports, social issues, and sustainability.

For more see www.shinefestival.ie

For more about the work done by The Shona Project see http://shona.ie/