Tips on how to settle into a new community

WHEN I was first approached by Elaine, the editor of WoW!, to write this column, one of the topics she had seen me write about before was the subject of settling into a new home and a new area, and ways of meeting people and making friends.

I had intended on it being one of the first articles I would write for this column, however, the universe had other plans. My first article was published the day before the country went into lockdown, and that has in a way had a sort of hold over the topics I wrote about since, either indirectly or directly.

But a new era is upon us, some degree of ‘normality’ is creeping back in, and I think for most of us it is the social aspect of living that we missed most.

It takes effort and determination to go out and socialise, maybe now more than ever, and if you are re-emerging into the world after the last two years having moved to a new place or become a parent for the first time, it is daunting, but it is so worth it. There is a great comfort in seeing familiar faces when you do the school run or walk into the local pub or shop, it really anchors you to a place so that you really start to think of it as home.

Sporting activities haven’t been hugely affected over the last year or so, their positive impact on our mental health being so rightfully recognised has meant they have largely continued to operate, despite the highs and lows of the last year. Those who were interested in sports still had a great opportunity to get out and meet new people.

If you are not sporty, there are other social groups and clubs that, I for one, look forward to seeing revived: book clubs, classes for different pastimes, and parent and toddler groups that people may have tended to avoid over the last couple of years.

My husband and I are both blow-ins to North Cork, I moved from Sligo and he moved from the UK to study in Teagasc Moorepark over ten years ago, and we haven’t left since. We had no relations, no friends, not even friends of friends that we knew, so it was a complete fresh start.

Luckily, we are both pretty sociable and, in my experience, having children has presented many opportunities to meet new people.

I remember not long after we moved into our home, I was looking out the window one weekend and I spotted the local athletics club training in the field across the road. Having been involved in athletics since the age of seven, I was absolutely thrilled to see it right on my doorstep and said to my husband there and then that I was going to get involved.

Five years on and I am now secretary of the club, heavily involved with a wonderful group of people, many of whom I might never have crossed paths with otherwise.

I help out with some of the girls’ camogie teams too, again meeting people I never met before. And that is testament to the fact that you can be a member of an organisation you know nothing about and still contribute.

I’m from Sligo, I wouldn’t know one end of a hurley from the other, but I give the time to the club because my girls are involved, and again it’s been a lovely way to meet more people.

As soon as the baby and toddler groups are back up and running, I really do think they are a lovely way to get out and meet new people in the same stage of life as you. I met a fantastic group of women through toddler groups in the village, many of whom I count on as very close friends now.

Book clubs are also a wonderful way to meet new people, and if there isn’t one locally to you, there is no reason why you can’t start one yourself.

I am a ‘yes’ woman, although I am working on saying ‘no’ simply because I don’t have much time left to give to anything else. But I also found myself on the Parents’ Association of the school. Locally, that’s but a small group but what harm, you don’t necessarily have to join the most thriving club or society in the village to meet new people.

There are so many ways to meet people, you don’t have to be outgoing to do so; even if it is just going out for a walk and seeing the same faces over and over, you start to give each other a nod when you pass.

We all crave social contact in different ways but we all need it, there is comfort in familiarity with people and that is worth going after.