Gyles Brandreth: ‘The great joy of being a grandparent is you can break the rules’

By Lisa Salmon, PA

There are many joys about being a grandparent – but the greatest of them all, declares Gyles Brandreth, is that you can break the rules.

The broadcaster and author has seven grandchildren, ranging in age from 10 to 21, and says spending time with them, and particularly going on multi-generational holidays, has huge benefits.

“I’m a very experienced grandfather – I don’t claim to be the best, but I do claim to be one of the most enthusiastic,” he tells the Press Association.

“Being with your grandchildren on holiday makes you feel younger and more alive. There’s a spring in your step, and also, you feel more hopeful – you feel optimistic about the future, because you see these young people.

“But the great joy of being a grandparent is that you can break the rules, because then the children can say ‘Oh, Grandpa’s allowed to do that because he’s Grandpa’. I think it’s fun that we’re allowed to break the rules.”

Indeed, a new study of grandparents and multi-generational travel by Hilton found more than three-quarters (77%) bend the rules and make allowances for their grandchildren that would never have been allowed when their own kids were young – although 30% of grandparents say rule-breaking can cause tension with their adult children.

Yet 69% still admit they spoil their grandchildren more on holiday, with 40% saying it’s their favourite time to do so.

“Around two-thirds of grandparents admit they dial up the spoiling on holiday,” observes Brandreth. “I don’t know why it is, but on holiday, the rules get broken.

“You can keep them up – around two-thirds of grandparents let grandchildren stay up later than bedtime, plus extra treats, playing more games, relaxing rules around meal times.

“What I’m talking about is creating magic for your grandchildren – the memories you make in childhood are key to the rest of your life.”

Brandreth, 78, and his wife Michèle go on holiday as often as they can with their children and grandchildren, and the presenter, who regularly appears on Channel 4’s Countdown and the BBC’s The One Show, is now supporting the new Hilton ‘Gran-ual Leave’ campaign, which is encouraging families to take grandparents along on holidays as the ultimate holiday hack.

The Hilton research found multi-generational travel is on the rise, with a quarter (25%) of grandparents saying they’re holidaying more with their children and grandchildren than five years ago – in fact, 69% have gone on holiday with their grandchildren in the past year.

And it’s definitely not just grandparents who reap the rewards of multi-gen travel – the study found grandparents spend an average of four hours a day entertaining their grandchildren on holiday, giving parents an additional 24 hours of child-free downtime during a week-long trip.

And the kids get nearly two-and-a-half additional hours of playtime and bonding with their grandparents each day on holiday, adding up to almost 14 extra hours of playtime a week.

“It works for everybody,” says Brandreth. “It works for the grandparents because it’s fun, and to be honest that’s the main thing – we need more fun in life, and it’s fun with my grandchildren.

“If you go away with your children and grandchildren, you’re giving the parents kid-free time. What’s lovely about being a grandparent is you’re happy to have grandchildren – when you’re a parent, you’re not necessarily always happy to have children – parenthood is an exhausting experience.”

He points out that parents want their children – young or old – to have a good time, which can be linked to having good relationships with their partner. “You want to be able to free them up, if you can, in a relaxed way,” he says.

“So if you’re all going on holiday together, then there’s time where they can have a date night, and you can say ‘We’re going to look after the kids this evening, we’ll play some games with them’.”

And as well as giving the parents much-needed free time on holiday, Brandreth says the time grandparents spend with their grandchildren can increase the bond between them, and even give youngsters the opportunity to offload worries they may not feel comfortable talking to their parents about.

“As a grandfather – and I think my wife would endorse this – it deepens your bonds with your grandchildren. It sounds a bit pretentious, but what I mean is you love them anyway, but you get to know them a bit better,” says Brandreth.

“If you spend time with them, quality time, you get to know their different feelings, what they’re about, what their worries are, what their hopes are. It’s huge fun, and I think it’s well-known that it’s easier for grandparents and grandchildren to talk about some things than it is for parents and children, particularly as you get to the teenage years.”

Brandreth is planning for his children and grandchildren to come with him to Edinburgh this summer, where he’s appearing at the Fringe, and as well as many other staycations, two years ago the whole family – Brandreth, his wife, their children and partners and the grandchildren – went to Jamaica for two weeks at Christmas.

“We had a fabulous, fabulous Christmas, we all went on holiday together,” he recalls. “I would say everybody would agree it was the best family holiday ever, because it was all of us together.

“But at home, normally we just get on the train or get in the car and go for a weekend away together. You’ll recognise the Brandreth family, because we’re the people blowing the budget and having tea with scones and the argument about which comes first, the cream or the jam. This is how memories are made.

“It’s important for people’s wellbeing, it’s important for family bonding. It’s just a good thing to be doing, and it’s fun.”

He adds: “I think Gran-ual Leave should become a habit – part and parcel of the way of life. It’s not all in one moment, it’s spread over a few days, and that makes it special.

“And you can do things you can’t do at home, like pillow fighting. I’m a great pillow fighter, though my wife doesn’t like pillow fighting at home. But when you’re away from home, staying at a hotel, you have a licence to be a bit naughty. And so I do a bit of that because I’m a bit of a Peter Pan enthusiast, even though now, of course, I look like Captain Hook.

“The truth is, and I’ve learned this over many years, a family that plays together stays together. The joy for me of Gran-ual Leave is it gives me a licence to be ridiculous, and I want to be.”

Gyles Brandreth has partnered with Hilton to explore the rise of ‘Gran-ual Leave’ and the positive impact grandparents can have on family holidays.