Compulsive sexual behaviour: There is help for sufferers
Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of human life, but for some it can spiral out of control. iStock
Compulsive sexual behaviour, sometimes called sex addiction or porn addiction, is an issue that many people experience but few feel able to talk about.
While these terms are now common, it is important to note that they are not official clinical diagnoses.
The World Health Organisation instead uses the term Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD), describing it as a persistent pattern of sexual thoughts, urges or actions that feel out of control and cause distress or harm.
Compulsive sexual behaviour is not simply about a strong sex drive. It is about feeling unable to stop, even when the behaviour leads to secrecy, guilt, or damaged relationships.
For some, it involves excessive pornography use or repeated casual encounters. For others, it may mean living with emotional disconnection and deep shame.
Understanding the Root
Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of human life. It becomes problematic only when it begins to cause harm or emotional distress.
People who struggle with compulsive sexual behaviour often describe a cycle of temporary relief followed by guilt, anxiety, or self-blame.
Low self-esteem is a common thread in many people’s experiences. When someone feels unworthy or disconnected from their sense of value, sexual behaviour can become a way to seek validation, comfort, or control.
The brief sense of power or connection that follows can quickly give way to feelings of emptiness or shame, reinforcing the pattern.
In therapy, addressing issues of self-worth is key to recovery. Building self-compassion and understanding helps individuals to reduce the need to soothe through sexual behaviour.
Over time, this can lead to healthier forms of connection, intimacy, and self-acceptance.
Towards Positive Sexuality
Many people living with compulsive sexual behaviour carry a heavy burden of shame. They often believe their struggle reflects personal failure or weakness.
Yet recovery is not about rejecting sexuality it is about rediscovering it as something positive, respectful, and connected.
Positive sexuality means recognising sexual expression as a healthy and affirming part of human life when it is grounded in consent, awareness, and care.
Through therapy and support, individuals can learn to reconnect with their sexuality in ways that are safe, fulfilling and aligned with their values.
This process involves exploring not just behaviour, but also emotions, relationships, and identity.
It is about moving from secrecy and shame toward confidence and connection.
Support in Cork and Kerry
In Cork City and Kerry, the Problematic Sexual Behaviour (PSB) Network is growing.
The network brings together three psychotherapists, with years of experience, who are committed to raising awareness, sharing best practice, and promoting understanding.
One of the key supports available through this network is a psychotherapeutic process group for men.
The group provides a confidential space to explore subjective experiences and work towards healthier patterns of behaviour. It follows an integrative and humanistic approach, focusing on empathy, self-awareness, and emotional growth.
The group process invites members to look beyond the behaviour itself and understand the underlying feelings that drive it.
Many describe the experience as life-changing, a place where they can finally speak openly and begin to rebuild self respect and connection.
The PSB Network continues to explore ways to expand and diversify services, with the aim of developing more inclusive supports including a group for women, in the future.
A Compassionate Conversation
Compulsive sexual behaviour remains one of the most stigmatised mental health concerns in Ireland. People often struggle in silence, afraid to speak about what they are experiencing. But recovery begins with conversation.
By approaching the issue with compassion rather than condemnation, we can help those affected find understanding and hope.
Sexual wellbeing is a vital part of mental health, and everyone deserves access to support that helps them build a more connected and fulfilling life.
Graham Nagle Bsc (Hons) Psychology, MA Counselling and Psychotherapy, grahamnaglecounselling.com
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