Trevor Laffan: Stranded in Oz... lost, with no cash or phone, feeling an eejit

My daughter, Vicki, her husband Ian, and their three children are currently living on the outskirts of Brisbane city in Australia.

They were living in Belmont until recently, when they moved a short distance away to Wakerly. It’s close to their schools and jobs, and about 15 minutes’ drive from the city and the airport, so it’s a very convenient location.

We knew they were moving at the end of January, and as we were planning to visit them anyway, we figured that was as good a time as any for us to be there, to lend a helping hand.

So, on the morning of the move, Ian rented a rigid truck. The plan was we would drive his Ford Territory to the rental company where he would collect the truck, and I would follow him back in the car as I wasn’t familiar with the area.

When we got to the truck rental depot, I waited outside on the road while Ian dealt with the paperwork. I was a little uneasy though because the street I was parked on wasn’t very wide and cars were parked on both sides. It was a tight fit for other drivers to get through.

That got even worse when a guy pulled in behind me in a Range Rover. He got out and went into a house, but left the driver’s door open onto the street, making life even more difficult.

I was tempted to get out and close it, but then I was afraid he might think I was trying to interfere with it.

I kept thinking the guy would realise his mistake and return to the car at any second, but that didn’t happen. I considered calling to the house, but then, if Ian came out while I was gone and took off without me, I’d be in a pickle.

I didn’t have a satellite navigation system in the car, but that’s another story.

While this was going on and my eyes were clung to the rear-view mirror, I saw the truck leaving the yard of the depot. It headed up the road in front of me and indicated its intention to turn left, towards home so I started up and tucked in behind him.

I had no idea where I was so I was hoping we wouldn’t get split up at one of the many traffic lights.

The first set of lights we came to were turning amber as he was about to reach them, so I expected him to slow down and stop so we would be stuck on red together. Instead, he accelerated through the amber lights, leaving me stranded.

As soon as they went green, I put the boot down, but I was also conscious of the speeding fines in Oz, which are severe. I eventually caught up with him.

At the next set of lights, the same thing happened. This time I went through the amber light as well, even though it would have been better to stop.

At this stage, I was cursing him for not being more tuned into the fact that I was relying on him for directions.

We came to a sign for Belmont Road, which was where they were moving from, and I was surprised when we didn’t take that turn, but I reckoned he was bringing me to the new house so I would be familiar with the route when it came to hauling stuff from one house the other.

We were travelling on a dual carriageway for quite some time, and I knew the house they were moving to wasn’t that far away from the old one, so I was getting a little concerned.

Then I spotted a ‘Bunnings’ store on the other side of the roadway. They are a chain of large hardware stores, and I figured he needed something in there.

I felt better when he did a U-turn at the end of the carriageway and headed back the way we came and turned into the underground car park at Bunnings.

I followed suit and when he found a tidy parking space, I pulled in beside him.

I was surprised when he got out of the truck though because he looked nothing like Ian.

I had spent 20 minutes following the wrong truck.

They guy looked hard at me and must have wondered why I was tailing him, but he was gone before I could explain.

Now I had a problem... well, several actually.

In the first place, I was lost. Secondly, the car was telling me it needed petrol, and I had no money. My credit card was in the cover of my mobile phone which was waiting in the house for me to return.

So, I had no money, no phone, no satellite navigation system, and a tiny drop of petrol.

Unknown to me at the time, Ian was having problems back in the car rental place and he had come out to tell me there was going to be a delay. He couldn’t figure out where I had gone, so he rang Vicki to see if I had returned home.

Now everyone was getting excited because the auld lad was on the missing list and was last seen heading towards the outback.

I wasn’t too bothered though because I knew that as long as I had a tongue in my mouth, I was going to find my way back.

My biggest concern was how I was going to explain to the family what an eejit I had been.

I retraced my steps and eventually made it home.

I partly guessed I wasn’t going to have it easy from them, and of course I was right.

I spent the rest of the day trying to keep out of their way.