Here’s something to chew on.. let’s ban this unsightly gum

When I was a young lad, I thought America was the most amazing place on the planet.

Of course, that was based solely on what I saw in the movies and on TV. It seemed everyone had beautiful open plan houses with white picket fences and perfectly manicured lawns, or yards as they called them.

They drove nice cars, except for poor Lieutenant Columbo who had a banger, and there seemed to be no shortage of money.

If you lived in one of the cities, you probably had a cool apartment, got a cab everywhere, bought your paper from a vending machine, and walked the streets in safety because the cops were on the ball and had guns.

In the 1960s, young lads over there wore Wrangler jeans, runners and t-shirts, and drove convertibles, which was fine because it never rained.

I was envious because in Ireland we were constantly damp and still wearing trousers, leather shoes, and long-sleeved shirts.

That was the standard dress code here all year round. It was formal wear when we were going to Mass, and it became casual wear when we were playing football in the street. The mothers were constantly giving out about the scuff marks on the shoes and grass stains on the pants, but we carried on anyway.

The Americans had it all. Everyone wore sunglasses and they never had to cope with the cold and the dampness that made its way into the bones, so it’s no wonder so many Irish made their way over there in search of that lifestyle.

Most of us probably had ambitions to visit there at some point, but a lot has changed since those days. I for one have never been and I have no intention of going either.

Whatever attraction the place held for me has long since fizzled out, and as I get older the interest wanes even more.

There are a few practical reasons too why I won’t be going to the States. In the first place, I spend a lot of time in Cyprus, which I consider to be my little piece of Heaven, and that has to be paid for. Secondly, my daughter and her family moved to Australia this year and that means travelling there if we want to see them. That has to be paid for too, and it doesn’t come cheap.

Thirdly, Donald Trump’s America doesn’t appeal to me and those idiots shouting “Get in the hole” at golf tournaments have put me right off the American accent.

America has become a bit of a basket case with its whole gun culture and obsession with MAGA (Make America Great Again).

I have another bone to pick with our American cousins too.

I blame them for introducing us to chewing gum, the scourge of Irish footpaths.

Discarded gum makes a mess of the streets, looks unsightly, and causes me to use many profanities when it sticks to the sole of my shoe or the wheel of a buggy.

I was in Singapore in 1994 when they had only recently banned the use of chewing gum, so it was very topical at the time. In 1992, they had introduced laws that created heavy fines for spitting gum on the ground and for dropping cigarette butts or matches on the street.

They also enforced strict rules in relation to litter, graffiti, jaywalking, spitting, expelling “mucus from the nose”, and urinating anywhere but in a toilet. If it’s a public toilet, you are legally required to flush it.

It worked and the cleanliness of the footpaths in Singapore was striking.

The lack of dirty gum blots was very impressive, but I bet our ancestors never thought that one day in the future, legislation would be required to keep gum off the streets? And maybe I’m wrong in blaming the Yanks too.

According to history.com, there is evidence that 9,000 years ago some northern Europeans were chewing birch bark tar for enjoyment as well as medicinal purposes, such as relieving toothaches.

In the Americas, the ancient Mayan people chewed a substance called chicle, derived from the sapodilla tree, as a way to quench thirst or fight hunger.

The Aztecs also used chicle and even had rules about its social acceptability. Only kids and single women were allowed to chew it in public, and married women and widows could chew it privately to freshen their breath, while men could chew it in secret to clean their teeth.

In the 20th century, chewing gum made William Wrigley Jr one of the wealthiest men in America. He had plenty of competitors, so he spent heavily on advertising and direct marketing, sending free samples of gum to millions of Americans and to children on their second birthday.

So, chewing gum has been with us for a long time and you’d wonder why it is so desirable when you consider what goes into the stuff. Gum producers guard their recipes tightly, but most modern gum is made up of a non-digestible, rubbery base to give it its chewy quality.

Then they add resin to strengthen it and hold it together, fillers to give it texture, and preservatives to extend shelf life. Softeners are added to retain moisture and prevent the gum from hardening, while sweeteners and flavourings give it the desired taste.

In this health-conscious era, I would have expected chewing gum to be getting the heave-ho, but that’s not the case, and that’s fine if people get a kick out of chewing it, but it’s what they’re doing with it when the flavour is gone that bothers me.

Apart from being a pain, it can also be ingested by wildlife, causing internal injuries, digestive problems, and even death.

Birds, fish, and marine creatures often mistake these colourful particles for food, so maybe we’d all be better off without it.