Half of men in same-sex relationships surveyed for Cork report experienced violence from partner or ex

More than half the men involved in same-sex relationships surveyed for a new report by the OSS Cork Domestic Violence Resource Centre and the Gay Project have said they had experienced physical, sexual or mental violence from a partner or ex partner during their lifetime.

The ‘Reach Out’ report with the subtitle, ‘Addressing Intimate Partner Abuse Among Gay and Bisexual Men in Cork’, which was launched yesterday in the city, goes on to disclose that more than half of those surveyed had experienced sexual abuse, two in five had been victims of physical assault with the same number revealing they had been impacted by emotional abuse.

One in three had experienced HIV/Trans/health abusive behaviours, while a third of men had been victims of financial abuse from a partner or ex partner.

Women abused by their male partners form the largest group among those impacted by intimate partner abuse but men can also be victims.

While the number of men who completed the survey, 43, may appear low, the reported incidence of abuse between male partners and ex partners in gay relationships, according to the survey and wider international research, was equal to or more prevalent than in male-female intimate relationships.

It also should be borne in mind that while there is no official estimate of the LGBTI+ population in Ireland, international figures would suggest that 10% of males identify as not heterosexual.

The report was prompted by OSS Cork, which is the only domestic violence service in the Cork region to work with male as well as female victims, noting that gay and bisexual men experiencing violence, abuse or control were not coming forward in the number that would be expected. Tusla, the Child and Family Agency, funded this research as an endeavour to find out why these men were not presenting for help and to develop referral pathways.

Intimate partner abuse in relationships involving gay or bisexual men takes many forms and includes threats of ‘outing’, attempts to normalise or deny that abuse is happening and unprotected sex and isolation from the wider LGBTI+ community.

Other exacerbating factors include the higher rate of substance abuse in this population as well as anxiety and depression.

Raising awareness 

According to report author, Dr Angela O’Connell, the report’s primary focus is about raising awareness.

“Intimate partner abuse happens in all relationships and the research shows that it happens regardless of class, race, sexual orientation, age, social class, geographic location. It happens wherever there is a closed door for it to happen behind,” she told The Echo.

“Where you’re looking at hidden populations like gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans people, there’s every opportunity because they’re hidden from view for that to happen in their relationships as well, just as it happens in heterosexual families that we’d be more familiar with, with the very well known image of the big man hitting the vulnerable woman.

“Also there’s much more awareness now, especially with new legislation on coercive control that domestic abuse and intimate partner abuse encompasses a lot more than just physical violence. It’s very much rooted in the control and exploitation of one person by another and that, of course, can happen in any relationship.”

Dr O’Connell said that those who are gay, bisexual and trans can be subject to additional forms of abuse – such as blackmail.

“They can be threatened to be outed or, if they’re HIV positive, having their medication controlled or having their access to the gay community controlled by an abusive partner who might be putting stories out there or who might isolate them from any source of support and that’s a very powerful mechanism to control somebody.

“Then there’s the shame of any man coming forward, given the dominant masculinity that we have to live with, saying that they’re the victim of intimate partner violence or abuse.

“They feel less than they should be, less a man – when you add into that the shame and stigma in a sexual gender minority, you’ve got an added barrier to approaching services.

“The gay population has, historically, been criminalised and stigmatised and having to deal with prejudice on a daily basis and fear of being met with discrimination when they go to services.”

This in turn generates a fear and reluctance to come forward and this is expressed by gay victims of intimate partner violence who have been surveyed and have contributed on an anonymous basis to the report.

“There’s two or three organisations here in Cork for domestic abuse and I’ve looked in the window and I’ve seen the name of the organisation on it and I’m thinking, could I go in there?,” said Jay, a gay man in his 50s. I’m thinking no, it’s probably for women – isn’t that weird?

“Because on the signage it doesn’t say anything about men or women, it just says domestic violence something.”

The goal of the reachOUT project was to investigate the awareness, perceptions and experiences of intimate partner abuse by gay and bisexual men, and to explore if, how and when they seek help and what are the barriers they experience in trying to access mainstream sources of support. Using the information gathered in the report, OSS Cork and the Gay Project have devised a referral system and are now taking steps to raise awareness among Cork’s gay community, the public and service providers.

Awareness of issue and supports low 

The findings in the report suggested that the prevalence of intimate partner violence among the gay and bisexual community was ‘high’ while the awareness of the issue and available supports remained low for intimate partner abuse in same gender male relationships. This applied to the gay community itself as much as to general service providers.

According to a service provider for gay men quoted in the report the information for victims of intimate partner abuse is not easily accessible. “It’s not just hospitals, it’s GPs and other services and I don’t think they have the information, probably not for heterosexual violence but certaintly not for same sex violence.” According to a sexual health service provider, the workers who work directly with victims to support them need to have competency training and this needs to be extended to all those working in these types of organisations.

The final part of the reachOUT project involved the development of referral pathways between the Gay Project and OSS Cork for gay and bisexual men experiencing violence and control in their intimate relationships.

As appropriate, and following training in each organisation earlier this year, the Gay Project may refer gay and bisexual men in need of support and information to OSS Cork, while that organisation may refer gay and bisexual men to the Gay Project if they feel those men would benefit from one of the many programmes on offer.

Another outcome from the reachOUT project is a toolkit providing information about intimate partner abuse among gay and bisexual men and, in particular, how to recognise, respond to and refer victims.

There’s more to come in the second phase of reachOUT as links with the Gay Project will be strengthened and links with other organisations formed as public awareness raising initiatives, resources, networking, training and workshops to deliver other services are developed.

On top of that, OSS Cork is also engaged in a new national LGBTI+ Intimate Partner Abuse network as well as the Social Inclusion Forum at Mercy University Hospital. The organisation has also taken part in the consultation for the Second National LGBTI+ Strategy and are exploring other networking opportunities as they arise.

While the Gay Project is viewed as ‘a hugely important’ resource for Cork’s gay community, the reachOUT project collaboration has consolidated OSS Cork as an important resource for gay and bisexual men experiencing intimate partner abuse.