How I Met My Partner: Filling in for a photoshoot led to much more for Ruth and James

WHEN Ruth McDonald put a call out for a male model, she never anticipated finding a husband too.

It was her part-time job as a model that led to the Carrigaline native finding love.

The business, House of Wild Sage, which they co-founded together after settling in Kerry, is thriving. 

Ruth had likely never envisioned such a future while planning a photoshoot more than 10 years ago. It was to be her first meeting with now-husband James, who originally hails from Laois but had been living in Kinsale.

“I was looking for a male model for a photoshoot back in my college days,” Ruth explained. “The model I requested wasn’t available so he recommended his colleague James. I was sceptical as his portfolio portrayed a youthful, clean-shaven lean teen. I contacted him and as he was free, we decided to meet first at the gym to prepare for the shoot. When I walked into reception, I was amazed to find a six-foot tall, bearded, bright- yellow-anorak-wearing, man-bun topped with a pink bobble, man.”

'A true love'

Ruth, who also lived in Kinsale at the time, recalled how James made her laugh.

“We giggled our way through our gym session and when we left to meet our photographer, we received a message to say he had hurt his back and couldn’t meet up. James kindly offered me a cup of tea back in his home three minutes from the gym.

“I accepted and was given the best cup of tea I had ever tasted. We then spent a further six hours laughing our heads off and in deep conversation about food, wine, travel, and adventure.

“I was even late to a premier of a short film I had acted in because I lost track of time, I was laughing so much.

“Having come out of a string of doomed relationships, I wasn’t seeking love, just working on myself, so I was astonished when James gently cupped my face in his hands and kissed me.

“I think it was love then and there — a true love that has only deepened, evolved, and bloomed with time.”

Chemistry

James and Ruth’s chemistry was undeniable both on and off set.

“We never actually had that official first date, as from the moment we met we spent all our time together. We became best friends, soulmates, and lovers quickly. I can still say to this day that he is my best friend and everything is most fun when he is there.

“I think our hearts always knew we were it for each other, but it takes going to the darkest places to see the light. We had gone through a tough patch and decided to take our perspectives to Bali where, sure enough, we reconnected on deeper levels and our foundations never shook again.”

Ruth and James have fond memories of their wedding day.

“We say we love each other so much we got married twice. The first time was our civil ceremony. The second was our wedding in France. We needed to get the paperwork completed in Ireland so we booked our civil ceremony with just our parents, maid of honour, and best man. We were totally taken aback to find that standing up in front of those we loved declaring our vows to each other for life was actually such a profound and magical moment. We were shaking, crying, and beaming as we spoke. It was beautiful.

“We then had a very relaxed, sunny day with our little group in The Bullman in Kinsale and then to The Black Pig restaurant for dinner. It was perfect.

“Our French wedding was a month later in Carcassonne with 50 family members and friends in a farmhouse-style chateau set among the sunflower fields. The ceremony was spoken by our parents and we wrote our own vows. The marquee saw great dancing and beautiful and hilarious speeches that night. We felt extremely loved. We took a little trip to Paris after to decompress. It was perfect. We took five months out to travel to Asia and cycle the south of France afterwards.”

Heartbreak for couple

Parenthood was not without its heartbreak for James and Ruth.

“Between having Aurelia [now five] and our son, Lórien, we experienced the loss of our daughter, Arwen. I am aware that this is a heartbreaking trigger for many so I won’t go into detail, but I did release a poem about her on my Instagram account @theearthweaver if it resonates with parents to connect with this. The small time she was with us she brought such courage, joy and so many other gifts to us.

“This was to be the biggest turning point in our lives. Grief turned into power and we made the bravest decision of our lives to follow our dreams.”

She explained how grief influenced some key life decisions.

“We chose to move to Killarney to a renovated farmhouse with outbuildings to turn into a sanctuary for our business and family to flourish. We left the rat race and leaned into slow living. The return to the land, Celtic traditions, handmaking and family-centred living felt the most natural thing in the world. We send gratitude to Arwen every day. Then came Lórien. He is the sweetest, most affectionate, grounding, nature-loving little boy.

“Aurelia is a very proud and a great big sister.”

A bright future 

Ruth is looking forward to a bright future with James.

“So here we are, building our dream life nestled in our own home, House of Wild Sage, the soft tumbling hills of Co Kerry. We aim to convert the barn this year so that we can hold retreats, classes, and workshops all year round; clay-weaving sessions, soundbaths, women’s circles, cacao ceremonies, rituals, yoga classes, 1:1 sessions and more. We have started a GoFundMe fundraiser to support this build. It’s also going to be an art studio for earth weavings and word weavings. I am planning to release my first poetry book in the coming months called The Earth Weaver.”

The couple enjoy a sustainable way of life.

“We are growing our vegetable, herb, and edible flower gardens to feed our family, and guests at House of Wild Sage. We have planted over 150 trees for weaving materials, air quality, local native birds, apples, and pollination.

“Our vision will evolve over the years to include an off-grid B&B, a hen coop for fresh free-range eggs, bee hives for fresh honey and pollination, a greenhouse for further vegetable growing and maybe even a therapy room. I hope our children see the beautiful sanctuary we are building to create connection, community and creativity. Our soul callings are strong, and to live them out together as a family, and as a couple, is an honour.

“I feel James and I were always meant to meet so that we could bring a little light into the world together. Our grief, our challenges, our darkness over the years have gifted us great empathy and a want to reach out to our community.

“We are each other’s compass and will continue to be so for all our loving lives.”

Readers can follow the couple’s journey on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/houseofwildsage/target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"> and https://www.instagram.com/theearthweaver/.

To support the House of Wild Sage Community Studio Renovation visit https://gofund.me/529e1d2f.