How I met my partner: Cork rector and wife hit the high notes and are still on song after 33 years

EUGENE and Joanna Griffin first met in 1990 and although Eugene says that there has been plenty of almost ‘missed moments’ along the way, fate had other plans.

Eugene recalled: “Joanna and I met in January 1990. A mutual friend of ours had persuaded us to join his choir (the forerunner to Anúna of Riverdance fame).

“The rehearsals were held in Trinity College Dublin and I fully remember Joanna coming into the rehearsal room.

“She was lovely and smiley.

“At the time, Joanna was just home from working in Paris, and I was mulling over going to sing professionally in Cardiff or Munich,” Eugene said.

“Over the months we got to know each other, hanging out for drinks and chats after rehearsals.”

Turning point 

That May, Eugene said, the choir sang at The Cork International Choral Festival — a turning point in their relationship.

“It was on a long walk along the Mall that Joanna and I started to think about ‘going out together’.

“On our first date, I was so flustered that I forgot my wallet and Joanna had to pay for our night out.

“To top it all, I drove up the entrance to Mount Merrion Avenue the wrong way. It’s amazing we are still alive to tell the tale,” he said.

Eugene described how Joanna’s mother always knew when he was at the choir rehearsal because Joanna would come home all chatty and happy.

“Joanna even said to her that I was ‘the one’ after our first date.

“For me, it crept up more slowly but when we attended the wedding of a friend, I thought this is the girl I wanna say ‘I do’ to. The rest is history as they say and we married in 1993.”

Joanna said it was Eugene’s vocal talents that first drew her attention.

“Deep and rich, his voice wrapped around me with warmth and joy. And then we spoke.

“I fell into his kind, humorous, green eyes into the heart within. I came home and I’ve nestled there ever since.

“My mum advised me to find a man who is kind, has a sense of humour, and a true sense of what is right and wrong.

“With these, we could face anything together and in our 33 wonderful years, we have navigated the amazing with the heartbreaking and to paraphrase Sondheim ‘we’re still here’,” she said.

The importance of music 

Joanna explained that both she and Eugene have had music as a thread through their lives.

“Both of us spent a period of time singing professionally.

“We both have worked in finance and both of us left that world to study and retrain for a different life — mine as a music teacher and he as a Church of Ireland clergyman.

“Our singing is how we met, how our faith grew and it led us to return to Cork 33 years after we first realised that our relationship could be something very special. And it has been,” she added.

“Eugene has told the story of our first date and in all honesty, I must acknowledge that in my efforts to learn how to cook pork chops in our early days together, the poor man had to suffer through culinary disasters for nights on end until he pleaded with me to stop. I am not a cook but he is and makes an amazing curry, fab stew, and is a master at gravy,” Joanna said.

Reflecting on their 33-years together, Eugene said: “I know it’s a cliché but communication is key and something we are still working at.

“Being kind to each other and turning a blind eye helps too. Having a good laugh and enjoying each other’s company while giving one another space to be ourselves. Recognising that sometimes we need to be alone but being supportive in the background.

“In 33 years, there have been plenty of missed communications and nearly missed moments,” Eugene added. “On that fateful walk up the Mall, we were accompanied by another member of the choir.

“After 10 or 15 minutes walking together, he turned to us and said that he was a gooseberry and would we ever just go out with one another.”