‘I found him out of the blue’: Cork man praises emergency services following son's death

KEN Fox, who works as a train driver with Irish Rail, showed remarkable strength when opening up about his late son Rob Fox.

The family is currently awaiting inquest results into the young man’s death which occurred accidentally and without foul play.

Rob had been enjoying a typical Friday night with his brother Seán last March before the tragedy occurred. His father Ken later found him dead in the early hours of Saturday, March 25.

The late Cork man, who was a talented boxer, had been well regarded among neighbours in Glounthaune village for his kind and gentle nature.

He had been living in the area with his dad, brother, and grandmother Yvonne up until his untimely death.

Ken said he will never forget the kindness of everyone in the community who pulled together amid the excruciating ordeal.

“My son Seán was the last person to talk to Rob”, Ken told The Echo. 

“I found him out of the blue. These things just hit you on the side of the head on a Saturday morning when you least expect them. It happened at the exact same time and the exact same day of the week as my father passed away before Rob was born”.

Ken recalled the professionalism shown by the gardaí who arrived at the scene.

“The sergeant had to come from Watercourse Rd. She sat on the wall with me and drank tea on the day it happened. It was just the two of us chatting and she was so lovely and kind.

“The gardaí were outstanding. Even the forensic team who came to photograph the scene were so respectful and assured us that they wouldn’t be there for long. They were professional but not cold which is a difficult balance to get right. After the funeral, the coroner’s assistant rang us. The way she dealt with it felt gentle rather than matter of fact. We will always appreciate the sensitive way in which everything was handled.”

He spoke of how the family was supported for weeks after the funeral.

“The sergeant from Mayfield, Brian O’Sullivan, rang us two weeks later to ask us how we were getting on. He didn’t have to do it but it was a nice and very personal touch”.

The family held a wake for Rob at his home in Glounthaune village.

'DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER'

“Everyone had a chance to sit up with him so he wasn’t on his own. We played ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ from Oasis as the coffin was leaving the church. The song felt very apt after what had happened.”

Ken was overwhelmed by the level of support shown to his family.

“There’s the people you expect and the people you don’t and the ghosts that you have forgotten about,” he said of those attending the funeral.

“The chairman of Riverstown Boxing Club came up to shake my hand and asked: “Do you know what Rob’s biggest failing as a boxer Rob was?

“It’s not a question you expect to be asked at your son’s funeral but when he told me the answer I knew exactly what he meant.

“He was too gentle.”

“That was Robert to a tee.”

Ken recalled how similar Rob to his late grandfather John. 

“Even though they had never met, he was the living embodiment of my father. Rob was also very popular. You could throw him into a random crowd of people and he would know someone. My father went out to the pub one night and was gone for five hours. My mother thought he’d be buckled when he got back but he just had one pint. He was talking to so many people that he didn’t even have time for a second one which was exactly how Rob was.”

Rob was skilled at disarming others no matter what the situation.

“He went for a job one time and we had advised him to wear a shirt and tie. However, he insisted on wearing a Chelsea jersey. It just so happened that the man doing the hiring was a Chelsea fan so they were like two long lost brothers. Only Rob would have got away with that.”

Rob’s last conversation with Ken still brings a smile to his face.

“His last words to me on the Friday morning before he died were ‘Man City are a pile of shit, I hope they don’t win the league.’ 

I’m happy these were his last words to me because they were pure Rob. Man City won the treble so he must be as sick as a dog up in heaven”.

Ken spoke about the difficult period that followed the funeral.

“Adrenaline helped us through the funeral but the month’s mind was too much. It was like a rerun of the funeral which was something that we understandably never wanted to go through again. That feeling enveloped me, so much so that heading to the church was too much to bear.”

The Irish rail worker opened up about his decision to return to work days after his son’s death.

“I did refresher courses for the first fortnight I was back. People didn’t need to say anything to show that they cared. A small nod meant as much to me as someone who spoke to me for 20 minutes. Maybe, this is because there was nothing left to be said. People are very good.”

He referred to one such meaningful exchange with a colleague.

“I felt a tap on the shoulder and she hugged me. I told her that the quietness at home was the hardest because Rob wasn’t small and Rob wasn’t quiet. She remarked that I could surely fill up that silence. We finished the conversation laughing. It showed me that you have to see the positives in everything. You have to laugh because life is short.”

Rob’s girlfriend Amy O’Neill also spoke fondly of the young man who is remembered by many as a ‘gentle giant’.

“He was a good, kindhearted and fun guy,” she said.

“If you needed something he would be there. We were going out for three years and I feel lucky to have had him while I did.”

Meanwhile, Rob’s brother Seán said they hope to make him proud.

“Wherever he is I would like him to be able to say ‘that’s my brother’, and make him proud in whatever I do.”