'He will never be forgotten': Tribute to mark what would be the 21st birthday of Cork toddler who died from brain tumor

THE family of a toddler who died from a brain tumour are planning to go ahead with his 21st birthday celebrations as part of a selfless gesture to the hospital staff who cared for him.

Three-year-old James Casey was loved by everyone he met including the staff of Cork University Hospital’s children’s ward.

Almost 18 years on from that unbearably painful time, James’ family — sister Laurey, parents, Sylvia and Trevor and the little brother Craig he never got to meet are raising funds for the unit to mark his 21st birthday.

It entails all the trappings of any other significant birthday party, with a DJ and celebrations at the Glen Hurling and football club this September 30. James’ uncle Sean will also have his hair cut and beard shaved on the night to raise extra funds for the worthy cause.

Family members, including James’ 15-year-old brother Craig, will then come together at midnight to set off 21 balloons to ring in what would have been his milestone birthday on October 1.

Laurey said she remembers meeting James for the first time like it was yesterday. She never realised the baby’s life would be hanging in the balance just 18 months later.

“At nine years old it felt like I had been waiting so long for James. I can still remember my dad collecting me from school to bring me to the hospital to meet him. I loved getting him dressed. It was like I thought I was his mother. My favourite things to do were bringing him for walks in his buggy to the park or Blackpool Shopping centre.”

Laurey was sitting patiently minding her brother in the waiting room of the Mercy University Hospital when her parents received the Earth-shattering news.

“I was playing with James as my mum and dad were being given the bad news. They didn’t tell me there and then. Instead, they brought us out to our grandparent’s house, which is close to the hospital, and told us when we were all together.”

Laurey paid tribute to her brother’s indelible spirit.

“He loved Thomas the Tank Engine and Winnie the Pooh. Even after major brain surgery he was happy and smiling. He would have a full blown conversation with you. We always joked that it was like talking to a little old man. His favourite thing to eat was ham and he loved bags of buttons. James was such a cheerful child when you consider all that he went through.”

She recalled how kind the doctors and neurosurgeon were to James during his short life.

“He was afraid of the doctors’ white coats so much that they got into the habit of taking them off before coming into the room to see him. They didn’t want him to be scared.”

The 29-year-old opened up about how the arrival of younger brother Craig helped ease their pain.

“Craig was born a few years later. Although nobody was ever going to replace James, Craig brought life back into our house. We had lost the joy we had before but he gave us a new kind. Even though Craig and James were completely different in looks they had the same mischievous personality.”

Laurey said that James had a major influence on her life.

“He died at 10.30pm in February of 2006. James had a huge impact on my life because he shaped me into the person that I am. I am now working in a secondary school as a guidance counsellor where I am often dealing with children who have experienced bereavements. When you have had similar experiences you have a lot of empathy for others in similar situations.”

The Cork woman said that reminders of their significant loss will always be present.

“I don’t think there is a day that goes by when we don’t think about what James would be doing today if he had lived. However, this is particularly true of special occasions. Even on the smaller milestones like on his 11th and 12th birthday we’ve thought about what might have been. It was the same on his 18th birthday and what should have been his grads. James had a great impact on our family. Even though it was a great loss he brought our family together. We know he will never be forgotten. Although the grief never goes away time makes it more bearable.”

Readers can donate to a Go Fund Me account to mark James’s 21st birthday fundraiser. Almost €1,500 has been raised so far with extra funds being generated for CUH through events such as a bag pack in Dunnes Stores Ballyvolane. Laurey said there goal is to raise €21k for Cork University Hospital.

• For more information or to donate
  visit https://gofund.me/c1c53a9f