'One man told his wife he didn’t want her to be alone after he died': It’s never too late to find love again

THE founder of a Cork dating agency is seeing people sign up for her services following the dying wish of a partner who wanted them to find love again.

Eithne Buckley from Two Hearts Meet Dating Agency in Charleville said that more widowed people are looking for love again after years of grief. A number of their partners, she said, had expressed wishes before they died that they go on to find love again.

As we approach Valentine’s Day on Monday, Eithne shared some of the more touching stories from her business of 11 years.

“One woman’s husband told her that he didn’t want her to be alone after he died,” she said. “It’s the sign of a very happy marriage to be that selfless and only want what’s best for your partner. Two years after he passed away from his illness, she joined the agency.

“She told me sometime later that the first thing she did after she set up her profile was to go to the church and light a candle.

“The woman told her husband that she had ‘done her bit’ and now she needed him to use his influence from where he was to find her someone really nice. When I heard the story, it gave me goosebumps. She found someone through the agency and is convinced that her late husband had a hand in it.”

Eithne has clients ranging from their 30s right up to their early 70s. Some as young as their early 30s had been tragically widowed, she said. Eithne stressed the importance of being emotionally prepared for love.

“I’ve advised some people to consider grief counselling so they can come to terms with the loss first,” she said.

“I completed a course in counselling in CIT myself and find it has really helped me with deal with people in an empathetic and understanding way. “If the person is still in the depths of grief and is not prepared emotionally to meet someone new, then it wouldn’t be fair of me to take them on a client. Not only would be it be damaging for them, it would also affect the person they are matched with.”

Eithne often receives calls from well-intentioned family members.

“We have quite a lot of people calling on behalf of a parent,” she says.

“They are concerned because their mother or father might still be relatively young and they don’t want them to have to spend the rest of their lives alone.

“That person might have done a lot of travelling in the past, but now finds themselves having to do these things alone. They have come to terms with their grief and their son/daughter feels it’s the right time for them to start looking for love again.

“Sometimes it can be good to chat to a family member because you know the person’s story before speaking with them. Everyone’s reaction is different when they hear that a son or daughter has called me. Some might say something like: ‘I know my daughter means well, but I’m not emotionally ready’. Others see it as an opportunity and say: ‘I’ll give this a go.’ ”

She described how lockdown kickstarted people’s motivation to find love.

“I’m busy all the time now because I think lockdown brought it home for people how much they wanted to be in a couple. Last month and this month were my biggest months because there are so many reminders with Valentine’s coming up.”