An unconventional love story: ‘Some arranged marriages don’t work out but most are very happy’

A COUPLE, whose very first date involved the exchanging of vows, has given an insight into how an arranged marriage works, following 11 years of wedded bliss.

Sonia Haroon and Muhammad Haroon Younus, who both work in the healthcare industry and have three children, said it was a “blind trust” that brought them together.

They reflected on their experiences as they prepare to celebrate yet another Valentine’s Day together.

The couple, who live in Wilton, revealed that their love story is often met with surprise by those unfamiliar with arranged marriages. Nonetheless, Sonia explained that arriving in Ireland while pregnant with her first child was just as much of a culture shock.

“I can remember the doctor asking if we were getting married,” she said. 

“I was shocked at the time. I couldn’t believe that I was being asked a question like that because, in my mind, everyone had to be married before they had a child. Of course, I understand now that this isn’t the case but, at the time, I was very surprised.”

Originally from Pakistan, Muhammad Haroon recalled how they first met.

“I first moved to Ireland in 2004 and had never heard about Sonia before that. Every year and a half I would go back home for holidays,” he said. 

“My parents were meeting with friends for one and a half years. The culture back home is that if a family is looking for a partner for their child they will do it themselves or ask a relative to help them. In 2009, I was getting suspicious because my dad kept asking me when I was coming home. They asked me if I could come home for four weeks this time instead of three and I agreed.”

Muhammad Haroon didn’t realise that they were planning to introduce him to his future wife.

“When I was home they asked if I would come along to meet some new friends of theirs. When I got home from meeting the family they asked me what I thought of their friends. I said I thought they were very nice. They then asked me what I thought of Sonia.”

Muhammad Haroon eventually realised what his parents were planning.

“As Muslims, we believe that couples don’t meet but are made in heaven. In terms of ratios, arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages. Of course, like with any couple, there are some arranged marriages that don’t work out because the personalities are so different but most are very happy.”

Sonia said that people are often taken aback by their unconventional love story.

“When I tell this story to my friends they ask, ‘how is this possible?’

“However, I always knew I would get married in the same way as others in my family. My parents asked me if I was okay about this. They wanted to make sure that I would be happy first. I was happy to put my trust in them. As a girl of 19, I was very young. I might have made a lot of mistakes without their guidance. They were the ones who had experience of the world.”

The endoscopy technician said he is glad to have Sonia as his first and only love.

“When I tell people that I never had a girlfriend they don’t believe me,” he said.

He recalled their first date.

“We went for a walk on the beach and had dinner. When we got into the car one of the first things she did was turn off the air conditioning. She was shivering. I explained that it was very cold in Ireland and I wasn’t used to the heat.

“Every couple has arguments. It’s one of the spices of life and without the spice you don’t have the flavour.”