Cork man’s mission to get men talking, sharing, connecting...

The concept was straightforward - bring men together to hold space for each other, to encourage connection, community, and shared experiences over coffee, chats, free work-outs, and Sunday hikes.

That sums up the initial concept of Be Undeniable, a social media network project created by Cork man Andrew Desmond.

“A big challenge for men over 35 is having someone to go to the pub with or the cinema,” he explains. “It’s a normal thing in your early 20s, but there is a sort of a stigma doing it when you get older.

“So many men feel less than, beneath, others. They don’t feel comfortable walking into a room.

“I want men to wake up, to stop lying to themselves, and to show up for each other.”

When Andrew launched Be Undeniable, he assumed it would grow rapidly. “I visualised little groups popping up in every town in Ireland. All I had to do was set it up and the idea would snowball.”

Though inexperienced in building networks, he quickly recognised his natural leadership. People listen when he speaks, and his message is direct: ‘Men need men’.

“That’s why I set out on the path I did. I wanted to create a community of men talking,” he says.

Today, Be Undeniable operates through two distinct offerings. The weekly circle is a local, in-person 12-week paid group meeting for two hours a week, focused on connection, open conversation, accountability, and genuine friendships within the community.

Alongside that is Be Undeniable Online, a nationwide membership hub connecting men across Ireland through chat rooms, accountability groups, fitness and wellbeing discussions and organised meet-ups.

It allows men outside the local area to be part of the movement - and to initiate gatherings in their own towns. Some members join both, but they remain separate strands: one local and in person, the other national and online.

The bonds formed in the circles are strong. “You feel part of a family,” Andrew insists. “Lads are open and honest, and while there is an element of deep conversation and, in essence, therapy about meeting up, there are also lots of light-hearted moments.

“The benefits are huge too. When men share and lift each other up, they leave the room fitter, healthier, better dads, better husbands.”

Commitment can be striking. “One guy travels an hour to join the group each week,” he says.

“Some are separated from their wives and are lonely, living in mobile homes, for whom this is a lifeline.

“We are trying to ignite the bonds of friendship. If we drive anywhere for a group activity now, we carpool, and the craic in the car is gold.”

Andrew’s ambition is to see circles replicated nationwide - men networking, bonding, and opening up in towns across the country. Yet building engagement has not been without challenge.

Within the online community, which has grown to more than 100 members, many remain observers. “In the early stages, some members may have vomited out their trauma to the group - whether that was due to alcohol, drugs, marital breakdown (the honesty was unbelievable) - and then they disappeared, perhaps mortified or feeling vulnerable that they had shared so much.”

Initially, Andrew viewed the online chats primarily as a mental health space.

“I saw my role as encouraging men to talk, to be open, to be vulnerable.

“However, there was a sense that, if all you do is blurt something out, you might feel doubly worse.”

He began to question if he was diluting his broader message. Physical wellbeing had been central to his own recovery, yet he felt he was leaning too heavily into emotional disclosure alone.

“I challenged them to become more engaged instead of secretly lurking in the background.

“There was so little feedback from the men that there were times when I would ask myself if I had created anything?

“Then, one day a man remarked, ‘What you have set up is amazing.’”

Andrew was stunned. He had never seen the man interact online, yet he was quietly benefiting.

That moment reinforced a crucial lesson: engagement doesn’t always look visible. But Andrew also recognised that men often need action as a gateway to openness.

So he shifted direction.

“I said every man should know his mile-time. Every man should have healthy competition. We needed to manage a sense of accomplishment in doing something hard and overcoming it.”

He began setting physical challenges and organising larger events with guest speakers. “And the only way to participate in those is by joining our network,” he points out.

Andrew does not present himself as a trained life coach. What he offers instead is lived experience, honesty, and transparency about his own turbulent past.

At 13, he was knocked down by a car, catapulted through the air and landing 60ft away. He was given the Last Rites at the roadside and spent eight weeks in hospital.

Compensation became available to him at 18 while he was studying civil engineering at UCC. He began drinking heavily.

“As soon as I touched my first drink I wanted more,” he recalls. “I reckon that I was born an alcoholic. We had a sort of chemical love affair. All my life, I had had a sense of inferiority, shyness. Drink made me super-confident. It gave me wings to fly.”

He never returned to university.

By 24, he had hit rock bottom and spent 28 days in Tabor Lodge. After, he worked on fishing trawlers, earning well, and binge drinking on days off. He later got sober and secured a sales job, where he excelled - but addiction shifted shape.

Gambling replaced alcohol.

“I’d go to support meetings, give it up for a few months then regress. Then I started to borrow money from work.”

Drinking crept back in. He was caught drink-driving - twice. The second conviction was a turning point.

“I realised I had hurt enough people. Even though I thought my life might be over, I felt I deserved it to be different. I had been relying on myself up to that point, but it wasn’t enough to keep away from it.”

“My parents were always there for me. I feel very guilty for what I put them through. Sometimes, though, maybe what’s needed to get through the dark times is tough love.”

He had to move from self-pity to rehabilitation. Recovery, he says, was a “white-knuckle ride”. Physical activity proved transformative.

“I will be water skiing till I’m 80. Pier jumping and cycling too. However, while I am not that good at sport per se, I found I was really good at CrossFit.”

“The aftercare - talking about your weaknesses in the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) room - was also very critical for me.”

The circular meeting format of AA - listening, sharing, then coffee together afterwards - was life-changing.

“With Be Undeniable, I believed I could replicate that sense of community, the after-coffee tribe experience, with the members.

“I think that when I shared my own personal story, however, I pitched myself at broken men.

“Nobody wants to admit they’re broken or need fixing.”

Though his daily inspirational videos - some with more than 130,000 views - attract attention, converting that inspiration into membership takes time.

Andrew realised challenge, rather than confession alone, gives men “psychological freedom” to engage.

“I used to organise free Sunday walks, coffee, and workouts. We still do those, but now I’ve decided to also create bigger group challenges and events, like climbing a mountain together.”

Those events are gaining traction.

Practical collaboration has become another pillar. “One of the men in the circle is helping me design a website. His technological expertise has already saved us a fortune. This is one of the positives of our group, bringing back that village mentality of sharing skills and working together.”

Andrew believes creativity fuels growth. “Men need to express their emotions, talk more, act more. The brotherhood and bonding of working on something together lightens a lot of their load.”

An ideas man, he has long thought beyond conventional boundaries.

“I’ve always wanted a campervan and suggested to the lads we could restore one together, as a collective project, and share its ownership.”

Years earlier, before wild camping became popular, he built a jetty near his home, constructed a cabin, and transported it beside the water on a trailer.

“Back then, I didn’t have the confidence to do anything with it but my vision was clear.”

With the support of his wife, Olivia - an experienced, innovative former events co-ordinator - that vision evolved into Our Little Black Shack, an idyllic hideaway that has been ranked among the top five places to stay in Cork.

“My ultimate goal is to create a Wild Camping Retreat in the heart of West Cork,” Andrew muses, “a sort of lifestyle reset, complete with a floating sauna, glamping pods, a barbecue area, where deep, meaningful chats can take place.

“I could see men thriving in this community setting.”

For now, Be Undeniable has his full-time focus.

“I have not stopped in the past six months. I have lots of new followers on social media and the membership and online network is thriving.”

His belief is unwavering: men need spaces to gather, to challenge themselves, to speak honestly - and to build brotherhood in the process.