Cork hairdresser: ‘Leaving my salon after almost 40 years is like a bereavement’

Long before Joe Byrne became an ‘adopted son’ of Cork, and long before he captured the hearts of its people with his selfless acts of good deeds, helping the needy and vulnerable in the community - he had already made an impression.

“When I was a young man back in the early 1980s, I wasn’t sure if I was gay or straight,” says Joe, the youngest of seven, who is married to Darren.

“I struggled with my sexuality and thought I was a bad person, so I went to confession. The priest was quite deaf, and he told me to ‘speak up man’.”

Joe did.

“‘I am a homosexual, Father,’ I shouted! Coming out of the confessional box, I was met with expressions of disbelief, shock, horror, from the people in the church waiting their turn for confession! Now everyone knew!”

What did Joe do?

“I said three Hail Marys!” says Joe, laughing.

Joe, always in good form and always ready to have the cráic and banter, is in a pensive mood on this bright, sunny October afternoon at his apartment in Douglas that he shares with Darren.

One of the kindest and best known hairdressers in Cork is having to quit due to medical concerns.

“I’m in business almost 40 years, and I’m very proud of that,” says Joe, who hails from Ballyneill in Tipperary, and who trained in Dublin and London before opening his own hair salon, Joseph’s, on Glasheen Road in Glasheen.

There is no hair salon like a Joe salon. It is a hive of activity that everyone enjoys visiting, not just to get their hair done, but to enjoy the banter and have a good laugh there.

“The salon is my baby,” says Joe.

Having to give up hairdressing at Joseph’s makes me really feel sad. Actually, sad doesn’t even come near to the grief I’m feeling.

“Being a professional unknown hairdresser, I’ve met amazing people. People who have special needs, people from Edel House and Penny Dinners. I’ve met amazing women and men who do amazing things. Leaving the salon is like a bereavement.”

Joe touches people’s hearts.

“I remember a homeless man coming into the salon for a free wash and hair cut,” he recalls.

“After he was shampooed, he started crying. Nobody had ever done anything before for him. It was very emotional.”

Joe did something special too for Ryan O’Hanlon when he befriended him.

“I volunteered with the CASA group in the past and I got friendly with a young lad called Ryan, who has special needs and who was 12 at the time. Ryan is 47 now.

“We became good friends, enjoying day trips and trips to Lourdes.

Ryan was my first client, and he was like my saviour when I was in my 20s. His love is unconditional. He just loves you. You can see it in his eyes.

“Darren and I feel honoured to have Ryan in our lives.”

Joe met Darren, the love of his life, in 2011.

Was it love at first sight?

“Almost! We met in Chambers in Cork,” says Joe.

How did that go? Did they chat each other up?

The memory makes Joe and Darren beam with happiness.

“We chatted each other up and then we met for coffee a few times,” says Joe.

“We went to Bunnyconnellan’s in Crosshaven and we had a very open talk.”

Joe is a man who likes grand gestures.

“Darren works for Laya. I sent him a teddy bear dog and a bottle of Champagne. I wanted him to join me on the rollercoaster of life.”

Darren readily agreed.

“He moved in within 10 minutes!” says Joe, laughing. “We got married in the Triskel in 2013.

“Darren is the best thing that happened to me in every way. 

He gives me huge help with the logistics of fundraising and gathering toys and school supplies for the children.

Darren, like his husband, is popular.

“Clients drop off cooking apples, new potatoes, and ripe tomatoes from their poly-tunnels for Darren,” says Joe. “They know he likes to cook.”

Getting sick was the worst thing that happened to Joe, forcing him to give up ‘his baby’ - the salon.

“Crohn’s disease and colitis hit me like a blast out of the blue,” he says.

It is 100% uncontrollable. The bleeding bouts and the fatigue were terrible. I could be with a client and start bleeding. I’d try to keep face. I’d have to leave at a moment’s notice and go to the bathroom. It made me cry.

The news from the medcial team made Joe cry.

“My multi-disciplinary team call my condition a complex case,” says Joe. “I’ve been going in and out of hospital regularly to get infusions via a drip. I looked shocking.”

Joe’s medical team called the shots.

“I was advised to avoid stress at all costs,” he says. “I had to make the tough decision to quit the salon.

“I had to think about other good things in life, and quality of life.”

Joe doesn’t seem like a stressful person.

“Business can be stressful,” he admits. “There are huge challenges having a small business. Tax rates, VAT rates, insurance, electricity, staff wages, and upkeep of the premises, can drain people. There are behind the scenes cost that people don’t see.

“If I kept the salon open, I would have to pay somebody else to take my place. I had to make a decision, even though it broke my heart. The writing was on the wall.”

If Joe wasn’t at Joseph’s salon, it wouldn’t be the same.

“I know!” says Joe.

“I have built up such good relationships with my clients, with the community. We share confidences with each other.

“I’m often asked for advice from mothers whose sons are gay. During Covid, we often spoke on the phone, and I gave out vouchers for people to use when we reopened.

“Over the decades, I have enjoyed amazing loyalty from my clients. I was very upset when we lost clients during Covid. I loved talking to them when they came to the salon to get their hair done.

“When a person passed away, the son or daughter would often call me. I’d go the house and make sure their deceased loved one looked nice.”

Joe is easy to talk to while you’re in the chair. “Often, a lady might be using a free voucher for her hairdo,” says Joe. “She’d be thrilled and full of lively chat.”

Joe kept schtum.

“Nobody else would know. The lady was treated like any other client having a treat.

“For first communions, we did the child’s hair for free if the family were any way vulnerable. The child was like everybody else which made them feel good.

“On Sundays, the staff volunteer their services for free. I have a fantastic loyal team,” adds Joe. 

I will miss them all so much.

He is going to bow out with a grand gesture.

“My going away party is in Flannerys on November 17,” says Joe. “That’s quite soon.”

He’s not forgetting anybody anytime soon.

“Our Christmas party is December 1 for the kids, when we give out presents. We have fun and games, have live music, and have a really good time.”

He always has others in mind. “Life is so short,” says Joe.

 “I lost two brothers to cancer. I have to stay healthy to enjoy time with Darren and to spend quality time with Ryan.

“I don’t want to be exhausted. I have to pace myself.”

Hoe does Joe feel now that he has made the tough decision to leave his profession after 40 years?

“I feel very relaxed,” he says.

He also feels very loved.

"I always got great support, and I got great gratitude from those I helped along the way,” says Joe.

The love is palpable. Now it’s time to enjoy life more than ever with Darren.

The curtain has come down on Joseph’s hair salon - but the Joe show will always go on.

“I know during my journey in life, I will always feel supported. I feel the love.”